Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Two Thumbs Up
    (1,652 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    Takes A Toll On The Soul

    | USA | Bizarre, Money, Religion

    (I am a phone customer service rep for a government agency that has been strongly encouraging constituents to use our website for basic governmental functions. It is my first day out of training.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello. I just want to know if you charge spiritual taxes to people of certain religious beliefs?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “Spiritual taxes. Do you charge them for using your website?”

    Me: “… I think that’s more a question for your religious leader of choice, but no, to the best of my knowledge we do not charge taxes on the soul for using our website.”

    Caller: “Oh, wonderful!” *click*

    Just A (Cast The First) Stone’s Throw Away From A True Christian

    | AL, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Religion

    (I live in the Bible belt of America, where homophobia is the norm. I’m a gay man and was outed by a previous coworker, so now I deal with two or three bigots per week. This takes place an early Sunday morning.)

    Me: “Hello. Did you find everything today?”

    Customer #1: *a bigot who frequents my lane just to insult me* “Everything except a good, god fearing cashier!”

    Me: *scanning items and not paying attention* “Your total is $48.50, sir. Would you like to pay cash or credit?”

    Customer #1: “You’re going to Hell, you know! You and all your godd***** f*****! Pick up a Bible and learn how to be a Christian!”

    (He then proceeds to throw his credit card at me. I check him out while enduring his verbal abuse, as usual. Finally he’s gone to bag his groceries while the next customer comes up. He’s an elderly man, around 60, wearing a sweater and a large prominent cross. I fear the worst but he hands me a gift card.)

    Customer #2: “Bless you, son. I’d like you to have this to make up for those of us who are less then their best.”

    (Customer #1 has heard Customer #2 and starts yelling.)

    Customer #1: “You’re going to Hell for supporting this f**! Learn how to be a good Christian!”

    (Customer #2 removes his sweater to reveals he’s a priest. Customer #1′s eyes widen in shock.)

    Customer #2: “Well, if I’m going to Hell I don’t believe there’s much hope for any of us now, is there?”

    (He was the new pastor for the church and one of his first sermons was on spreading love instead of hate. I thank you, good sir, for reminding me what a real Christian is like.)

    Didn’t See That (Second) Coming

    | Detroit, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Religion

    (I run an independent coffeehouse on the main drag in a small town. A regular walks in, doing her usual purposeful strut to the counter.)

    Me: “Hey [Name], how’s it going?”

    Customer: “Good. You know what I want?”

    (I nod as I begin making her nonfat, no carb latte with extra ice.)

    Customer: “You know, I like Criss Angel…”

    Me: “Yeah, he’s… something all right.”

    Customer: “You know…” *drifts off for a second before coming back down to earth with the rest of us* “I really think he’s the second coming…”

    (I stop what I’m doing to look at her as I wait for the punchline. Turns out it’s not coming.)

    Customer: “He can do everything Jesus could do.”

    (I’m still waiting for the ‘HA! Funny huh?,’ but I see she’s dead serious and waiting for commiseration.)

    Me: “Criss Angel is a magician.”

    Customer: *nods smiling*

    Me: “An illusionist. He does tricks.”

    Customer: *her smile slowly fades to a look of total desolation* “Oh.”

    (I finished her latte and rung her up. She didn’t say anything else and walked out looking much less sure of herself. I almost felt bad.)

    Bird Is The Word

    , | Montgomery, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Religion

    (I am working the drive thru on a Sunday, a time when we have a lot of regular customers after church lets out. I recognize a man from last Sunday.)

    Me: “Hey, I remember you from the other day!”

    Customer: “That’s right! You have a good memory! I like to hear the word and eat the bird!”

    Welcome To Hell 2.0

    | NC, USA | Awesome Customers, Religion, Technology

    (A customer calls in to fix a strange glitch with his software. After going through about fifteen minutes’ worth of all the usual troubleshooting steps, the issue still hasn’t been fixed. I’m baffled, until I remember I missed a somewhat obvious step.)

    Me: “Oh! You know, there’s one other thing we can check. Have you run a software update recently? If the program’s a bit out of date, that might be what’s causing the glitch.”

    Caller: “Oh, I’m pretty sure it’s all up-to-date, but let me check.”

    (He checks. Sure enough, there’s an update waiting. It takes about two minutes to install, and then the software works fine.)

    Caller: “I really should have checked that before I called, huh?”

    Me: “Oh, no, I should have asked you about it first thing. That one was all on me!”

    Caller: *laughs* “Ah, well, I guess we’re both going to Hell!”

    Me: *laughing with him* “Hey, at least we’ll be in good company!”

    Caller: “Oh, sure! I’ll see you across a lake of fire and go, ‘Oh, hey, it’s that tech support girl… Well, I know why she’s here!’”


    Page 3/2612345...Last