Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
    (2,512 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    Love Thy Culturally Homogenous Neighbor

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Religion

    Me: “I hope you’ve found everything to your liking!”

    Customer: “Oh, thank you, I have! It’s so nice to meet a polite Christian girl nowadays! You know, it’s always best to love thy neighbor.”

    Me: “Oh, actually, I’m not Christian. But yes, I agree.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, as long as you love Jesus our savior!”

    Me: “Actually, I’m Muslim and Jewish.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Well, my mother is Jewish and my father is Muslim.”

    Customer: “Oh. When I said ‘love thy neighbor,’ I didn’t mean you!”

    The Holy Ghost

    | Hyde Park, London, UK | Religion

    Tourist: “Excuse me, do you know why are there so many police and ambulances about?”

    Me: “It’s for the Pope’s visit. He’s preaching in the Cathedral and then there’s a procession.”

    Tourist: “But didn’t the Pope die years ago?”

    What Would Jesus Discount?

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | Liars & Scammers, Religion

    (Three teenagers come up to my register to buy some CD cases.)

    Me: “And that comes to $10.33.”

    Teenager: “What if my dad was the Prime Minister?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Teenager: “What if he came in, and said it was $5?”

    Me: “It would still be $10.33?”

    (He seems to think this over for a minute.)

    Teenager: “Well, what if he was the government?! Then what?”

    Me: “The price would still be $10.33.”

    Teenager: “Okay, so then, what if Jesus himself came into the store, and came up to you, and said it was $5?”

    Me: “Well, Jesus would still have to pay full price. Which is $10.33.”

    Teenager: “If Jesus was here, you’d be going to h***!”

    Sinfully Delicious

    | Savannah, GA, USA | Food & Drink, Religion

    (This bakery is a vintage style, family owned bakery with custom names for each product.)

    Customer: "As a man of the cloth, I know this is a weird order. But could I get a Hazel Feelgood and a Drunk Blondie?"

    Cross Examining Churches

    | Saint John, NB, Canada | Religion, Tourists/Travel

    (I don’t work in tourism though I must seem like a friendly person since I do get a lot of people stopping me to ask questions of where things are.)

    Tourist: “Are you familiar with the area? Do you live around here?”

    Me: “Yes I do, what can I help you with?”

    Tourist: “I’m looking for a cathedral in this area somewhere.”

    Me: “Okay, which one in particular? There’s about four around here.”

    Tourist: “I’m looking for a Catholic cathedral.”

    Me: “Okay, let me think…the Anglican church is that way, there’s one near by don’t know what it is, one over up the street a ways–”

    Tourist: “I don’t want no Anglican church! Bloody Anglican whores! I want Catholic!”

    Me: “I think it’s that one right over there.” *I point at the church*

    Tourist: “Yes, that’s a cathedral. It had better not be Anglican or I’ll hunt you down!”

    Page 24/28First...2223242526...Last