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    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    Not Much Between The Temples

    | Pembroke Pines, FL, USA | Religion

    Customer: “I need to speak to the person in charge!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m the only one in the office right now. Is there anything I can help you with?”

    Customer: “There’s no Jesus memorabilia in your display cases!”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a temple. Maybe you’re looking for the church across the street?”

    Customer: “I know this is a temple you dumb b****! All temples need Jesus in them. Otherwise, how is this a house of worship?”

    Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to calm down, there’s a preschool class next door. And Jews don’t believe in Jesus as being a–”

    Customer: *yelling* “What?! What the f*** do you mean you don’t believe in Jesus our Lord? How long has this been going on?!”

    Me: “I’d say a good thousand years prior to Jesus, ma’am.”

    Likely Not A Fan Of Spell Checking

    | Brisbane, Australia | Religion, Technology

    Customer: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I want to return this laptop I bought from you yesterday.”

    Me: “Oh really? Why? Is there a problem with it?”

    Customer: “Yes there is! It has witchcraft in it!”

    Me: “Witchcraft?”

    Customer: “Yes! When I tried to install a program on it, it said it was starting a wizard. Wizards and witchcraft are evil! I don’t know why you would sell such things at a store like this!”

    Me: “Ma’am, a ‘wizard’ on a computer is just the name of the program that helps the install process, it makes it quick so that it is like magic, hence the name ‘wizard’.”

    Customer: “I don’t care about your make believe hull-a-b-loo religion! It goes against my beliefs to have anything to do with that type of thing! Now give me my refund so I can be out of this evil place!”

    Me: “Sure ma’am, this way.”

    Love Thy Culturally Homogenous Neighbor

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Religion

    Me: “I hope you’ve found everything to your liking!”

    Customer: “Oh, thank you, I have! It’s so nice to meet a polite Christian girl nowadays! You know, it’s always best to love thy neighbor.”

    Me: “Oh, actually, I’m not Christian. But yes, I agree.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, as long as you love Jesus our savior!”

    Me: “Actually, I’m Muslim and Jewish.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Well, my mother is Jewish and my father is Muslim.”

    Customer: “Oh. When I said ‘love thy neighbor,’ I didn’t mean you!”

    The Holy Ghost

    | Hyde Park, London, UK | Religion

    Tourist: “Excuse me, do you know why are there so many police and ambulances about?”

    Me: “It’s for the Pope’s visit. He’s preaching in the Cathedral and then there’s a procession.”

    Tourist: “But didn’t the Pope die years ago?”

    What Would Jesus Discount?

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | Liars & Scammers, Religion

    (Three teenagers come up to my register to buy some CD cases.)

    Me: “And that comes to $10.33.”

    Teenager: “What if my dad was the Prime Minister?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Teenager: “What if he came in, and said it was $5?”

    Me: “It would still be $10.33?”

    (He seems to think this over for a minute.)

    Teenager: “Well, what if he was the government?! Then what?”

    Me: “The price would still be $10.33.”

    Teenager: “Okay, so then, what if Jesus himself came into the store, and came up to you, and said it was $5?”

    Me: “Well, Jesus would still have to pay full price. Which is $10.33.”

    Teenager: “If Jesus was here, you’d be going to h***!”

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