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    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    The Customer Is Always Righteous

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Religion

    (A regular customer comes into our store. She’s known to be very difficult to please.)

    Customer: “Good evening.”

    Me: *cheerily, while ringing her items up* “Good evening, ma’am! That’s $5.31, please.”

    (She puts a credit card down in front of me, which I ring through the register.)

    Me: “If you could please sign right there…”

    (I point, and she does. I bag her items and hand her the bag, her credit card, and her receipt. She takes them slowly and I think I’ve done a good job, but apparently not.)

    Customer: “You dishonor me! You dishonor me and you will burn for it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

    Customer: “God honors me! You don’t, and you will burn! I don’t know, I’m not God. But that’s what he’s saying. You dishonor me and you will burn!” *walks away*

    Me: *totally speechless*

    Sounds Like They’ve Had Too Many Bottles Already

    | Memphis, TN, USA | Religion

    (I’m working at a popular arts and crafts store as a cashier.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store], this is [name], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, do you have a chemical, or some sort of solution, for turning clear water into wine?”

    Me: “Uh… like… dyeing it to look like wine?”

    Customer: *completely serious* “No. Turning it INTO wine.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I think you’ll have better luck calling the church for that.”

    Not Much Between The Temples

    | Pembroke Pines, FL, USA | Religion

    Customer: “I need to speak to the person in charge!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m the only one in the office right now. Is there anything I can help you with?”

    Customer: “There’s no Jesus memorabilia in your display cases!”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a temple. Maybe you’re looking for the church across the street?”

    Customer: “I know this is a temple you dumb b****! All temples need Jesus in them. Otherwise, how is this a house of worship?”

    Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to calm down, there’s a preschool class next door. And Jews don’t believe in Jesus as being a–”

    Customer: *yelling* “What?! What the f*** do you mean you don’t believe in Jesus our Lord? How long has this been going on?!”

    Me: “I’d say a good thousand years prior to Jesus, ma’am.”

    Likely Not A Fan Of Spell Checking

    | Brisbane, Australia | Religion, Technology

    Customer: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I want to return this laptop I bought from you yesterday.”

    Me: “Oh really? Why? Is there a problem with it?”

    Customer: “Yes there is! It has witchcraft in it!”

    Me: “Witchcraft?”

    Customer: “Yes! When I tried to install a program on it, it said it was starting a wizard. Wizards and witchcraft are evil! I don’t know why you would sell such things at a store like this!”

    Me: “Ma’am, a ‘wizard’ on a computer is just the name of the program that helps the install process, it makes it quick so that it is like magic, hence the name ‘wizard’.”

    Customer: “I don’t care about your make believe hull-a-b-loo religion! It goes against my beliefs to have anything to do with that type of thing! Now give me my refund so I can be out of this evil place!”

    Me: “Sure ma’am, this way.”

    Love Thy Culturally Homogenous Neighbor

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Religion

    Me: “I hope you’ve found everything to your liking!”

    Customer: “Oh, thank you, I have! It’s so nice to meet a polite Christian girl nowadays! You know, it’s always best to love thy neighbor.”

    Me: “Oh, actually, I’m not Christian. But yes, I agree.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, as long as you love Jesus our savior!”

    Me: “Actually, I’m Muslim and Jewish.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Well, my mother is Jewish and my father is Muslim.”

    Customer: “Oh. When I said ‘love thy neighbor,’ I didn’t mean you!”

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