Category: Religion

There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

Religion Really Gets My Goat

| Dallas, TX, USA | Religion, Theme Of The Month

(After running out of diapers in the middle of the night, my husband runs out to the nearest grocery store. There are a few people in line when this happens.)

Lady Behind In Line: “So where are you from?”

Husband: “Oh, I’m from New Orleans.”

Lady Behind In Line: “No, where are you really from? You know; your people?”

Husband: “I was born in India, but immigrated to the US as an infant.

Lady Behind In Line: “India? How wonderful. My church has helped save a lot of the heathens there! Have you been saved by the blood of our savior, Jesus Christ? If you’re not saved, you and your family will burn in Hell for all time.”

(The entire line goes silent, shocked at the gall of this woman. My husband decides to have some fun with her.)

Husband: “No, I come from a long line of Satanists. We’re having a sacrificial ceremony nearby if you’d like to attend? Wait, do you know where I can buy a couple of goats?”

(The woman turns white, drops her items on the floor, and runs out.)

Cashier: “D***! I was about to tell her I belong to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!”

Had A Mourn-day Thursday

| Europe | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I am working in a call centre for a large company. This weekend was our weekend off because of the Easter celebration. A colleague, located somewhere else in Europe, is backing our line while we are away.)

Customer: “Hello, I am looking for [My Name]. I have talked to him before and need help from him.”

Coworker: “Well, [My Name] has his day off because of Easter.”

Customer: “GOD D*** IT! Why should he celebrate Easter? I need help with my product NOW!”

Coworker: *pulls up the file* “Well, I can see here that you were supposed to call him on Thursday to let him know about the issue.”

Customer: “Thursday? No, I couldn’t. I took the day off because of Easter.”

Probably Praying For Nicer Customers

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I just clocked out for lunch, and am on my way out of the building when this exchange occurs.)

Customer: “Hi. I think you may want to call security. There’s a really weird guy outside towards the other side of the building.”

Me: “I’ll notify someone right away.” *I notify security after looking, but hear nothing of what happened*

(It turned out one of my coworkers was outside praying.)

Holy Recession!

| Chicago, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Religion, Theme Of The Month

Me: *on the phone with a manager* “Hey, I have a guy here who wants me to give him ten dollars off, because he saw it lower two weeks ago… Uh huh. Uh huh. Right. Okay, thanks.” *hangs up phone* “Unfortunately, my manager won’t honor the price you saw, but maybe it will be that price again in a few weeks fro—”

Customer: *bangs fist on countertop* “God wouldn’t stand for this!”

Me: “I think God would understand that we’re in a recession…”

God Looks All Ways

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Religion, Theme Of The Month

Me: “That’ll be [total].”

Customer: *looks through purse* “Oh… I seem to be short five dollars. I’m sure God wouldn’t mind if you looked the other way on that.”

Me: “I think God would understand I could get fired for ‘looking the other way,’ so why can’t you?”

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