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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    Pay It Forward, Driving Backwards

    , | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Religion, Top

    (I’m working the drive-through at my restaurant. A customer drives up.)

    Customer #1: “Can I have a small [soda], please?”

    Me: “That will be [amount]. Please pull forward.”

    (The customer pulls up to the window and I hand her the drink. She hands me cash to pay for it.)

    Customer #1: “Do you take personal checks?”

    Me: “Uh, yes, we do, but you’ve already paid in cash, ma’am.”

    Customer #1: “Yes. I want to pay for the next person in line, too.”

    Me: “You want to pay for the next person?”

    Customer #1: “My pastor challenged everyone at my church to perform an act of kindness this week. So I’ll just sign a blank check and you can write in how much the next person’s order costs. Is that okay?”

    Me: “Hang on. I should probably check with my manager.”

    (I explain the customer’s request to the manager, who looks a bit confused, but says we can do that.)

    Me: “The manager says it’s okay, ma’am.”

    Customer #1: “Great!”

    (She signs a blank check and hands it to me, along with a religious tract.)

    Customer #1: “Could you just let the next person know it’s all taken care of, and please give them that pamphlet, too?”

    Me: “Yes, I certainly will.”

    (She cheerfully drives away, saying ‘bless you.’ A few minutes later, the next customer comes through the drive-through.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, can I get a [sandwich combo] with a large [soda]?”

    Me: “[Sandwich combo] with a large [soda]. Yes, sir. Please pull forward.”

    Customer #2: *pulling up to the window* “You didn’t tell me how much it was back there.”

    Me: “Well, you don’t have to worry about that, sir. The lady who came through the drive-through before you wrote out a check to take care of the next person’s order. She said she’d pay for it.”

    Customer #2: “What? You’re joking.”

    Me: “I swear.”

    Customer #2: “How could she know how much my order would be?”

    Me: “She left the amount line empty for me to fill in the cost of your order.”

    Customer #2: “Well, s***, son! In that case, give me TWO [sandwich combos], four [sandwiches], four [other sandwiches], another large fries, a 20-piece [chicken nuggets], an apple pie, and a $50 gift certificate!”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer #2: “It’s a blank check, right? So just write what I f****** asked for.”

    Me: “Hang on a minute.”

    (My manager has been listening over my shoulder. He gives me a resigned shrug and tells me to do it. With all the items the customer asked for, the total is over $100. As I hand the customer his huge order, I also hand him the religious tract the woman gave me.)

    Me: “She also asked me to give you this pamphlet, sir.”

    Customer #2: *looking at it for two seconds before tossing it into his back seat* “Hah! Joke’s on her! I’m already a Christian!”

    (I can still hear him laughing as he pulls away.)

    You Say Potato, I Say Catholic

    | NC, USA | Food & Drink, Religion

    (My grandmother and I are serving food at an outdoor event. I have cooked mashed potatoes.)

    Customer: “These potatoes are fantastic! I’ve had three servings.”

    Me: “Well, thank you!”

    Customer: “You must be from the First Baptist Church, because all of the best cooks are Baptist, you know.”

    Me: “Actually, I’m not.”

    Customer: “Oh, I guess you must be a Methodist then. Methodist women always did have a way with potatoes.”

    Me: “No, I’m actually a Catholic.”

    Customer: “Well, where the h*** did you come from?”

    A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3

    | Ocean, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

    (It’s Friday the 13th. I’m ringing up some college-age students.)

    Me: “Your total is $6.66.”

    Customer: “Oh, no! And it’s Friday the 13th!”

    Me: “No, no. It’s okay! You’re getting rid of the six sixty-six, not accepting it. It’d only be bad luck if you were getting it as change.”

    Customer: *looking very relieved* “Okay… That sounds right. But what about you?”

    Me: “I’ll be okay. It sounds strange, but 13 is actually a lucky number for me.”

    (I ring her up and move on to her friend. By sheer chance, the total is $13.34, and I immediately see where this is going when she hands me a $20 bill.)

    Me: “Uh. Your change is… $6.66.”

    (She looked very uncomfortable as she took her change, and her friends teased her all the way out the door.)

    Related:
    A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
    A Price For The Devil To Pay

    Piercing Judgments, Part 4

    | PA, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body, Religion

    (I am delivering oxygen to a new patient at their home. It is mid-summer and I am wearing a short sleeve work shirt. I have tattoos visible on both arms and hands as well as the front of my neck. I also have three piercings in each earlobe as well as my septum and three in my lower lip. There are all currently being filled by clear spacers. I also have shoulder length hair, a long full beard, stand 6’4″, and am clearly a biker. Generally, patients are a little timid at first when they see me but once they speak to me they are generally more at ease with my appearance and demeanor.)

    Me: “Will that be it for you today, ma’am?”

    Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

    Me: “Pardon me, ma’am?”

    Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos like the saints or scriptures?”

    Me: “Well, I suppose because I don’t actively practice any religion, ma’am.”

    Woman: “Those things might be acceptable if they were religious.”

    Me: “I’ll agree to disagree, ma’am, but then I have to ask, why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

    Woman: “Because the bible says to alter your body’s appearance is a sin! Leviticus says it.”

    Me: “I am somewhat familiar with the passages you are referring to, but if you believe that, then why would you ask why I don’t have any religious tattoos, when the bible says that tattoos are a sin?”

    Woman: “Well, you are obviously going to go to Hell for your sins, but I thought if you had some scripture instead of those other things you might be forgiven and get to walk with Jesus.”

    Related:
    Piercing Judgments, Part 3
    Piercing Judgments, Part 2
    Piercing Judgments

    Driving Down Route 66(6)

    | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Holidays, Religion, Top

    (It is late evening, a few days before Halloween. My coworker at the register has been dealing with an irate woman for several minutes. She is ranting about the cheap decorations hanging on our door. As a result a line is forming behind her.)

    Customer: “I’ll never shop here again! Everything in here is cursed! You’ll be attracting the demon spawns of the devil!”

    (I come up to the second register to deal with the line forming behind the customer. Most of the other customers shift over to me, but one younger woman is watching the first customer rant. Suddenly, the younger woman turns and runs out of the store. And a second later, she comes back in wearing the most amazing, and yet disgusting, full-head mask I’ve ever seen. It looks like a rotting deer, complete with antlers, shaggy fur, and wide dead white eyes. The younger woman walks up to the ranting customer and clears her throat loudly.)

    Younger Woman: *to my coworker* “Dude, I need $20 on pump four for my ‘Hell-mobile.’” *turns to the first customer* “And what’s your problem with us demons, anyway? Even the devil needs a place to buy gas and beer.”

    (The first customer turns and stares at the younger woman for a long moment. Then the first customer actually screams and runs out of the store, leaving all of her items behind.)

    Younger Woman: “I hope that lady wasn’t buying gas. I don’t think she’s coming back.”


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