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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    Thou Shalt Not Covenant Thy Neighbor

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Religion

    (I’m working the floor at a local video game store when a visibly angry woman comes up to me with a game in her hand.)

    Customer: “What sort of filth are you selling here!? My son has been playing this game, and I found out it’s about killing the Pope!”

    (She’s holding a copy of “Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood”. Its antagonist is Rodrigo Borgia, the Pope of Renaissance Italy.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, the villain in that game is an embellished version of an actual Pope who was historically known for–”

    Woman: “Look! I know you’re just doing your job, but I live in a Christian household and I wont have my son learning to hate religion!”

    (I give her a refund, and then try to find her a game she approves of.)

    Woman: “Okay, what’s this one about?” *picks up Halo: Reach*

    Me: “Well, in that game you play as a futuristic super soldier who battles a race of religiously devout–”

    (She screams, throws the game down, and storms out. The next day, she comes back and buys “God of War III” simply because it “has God in the title”.)

    Casting The First Stone

    | Elizabethtown, PA, USA | Religion, Top

    (A customer comes through my check-out line looking agitated.)

    Customer: “How dare you work on a sacred day of rest!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Today is Sunday! Why are you here? You should be in church, you blasphemous heathen! Why are you here?”

    Me: “I’m working on Sunday because there are customers that want to buy groceries on Sundays.”

    (The customer immediately shut up and didn’t speak for the rest of the time I rang up his groceries).

    Doing Favors On Your Knees

    | Saskatchewan, Canada | Religion

    (I am on my knees cleaning up a display that has very low shelves.)

    Customer: *whispering* “Make sure you say some for me while you’re down there.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Well, I just thought since you were on your knees you must be praying. I could use some prayers.”

    Me: “I’m just cleaning the bottom shelf.”

    Customer: “Well, can you say one for me while you’re down there?”

    It’s The End Of The World (As We Stole It)

    | Upstate New York, USA | Religion

    (I work for a telecommunications company doing tech support. It’s 5/20/11, the day before the supposed Rapture, and I am scheduling a work order.)

    Me: “Now, sir, I have appointments open for the 21st. Would that work at all?”

    Caller: “Well, yes, we should be around, unless we get Raptured. In that case, we might want to cancel it. Or, if we don’t, we might not want to cancel it. Not sure which one is the bigger problem.”

    Me: “Sir, I do assure you we are well prepared for either eventuality–return of Christ or not. Now, barring Rapture, I have a 1 – 3 pm and 3 – 5 pm. Which would you’d prefer?”

    Caller: “1 – 3 pm. If we don’t get Raptured, we want time for looting.”

    I Sense Toil And Trouble

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Movies & TV, Religion

    (A customer hands me a ticket to a movie that we are not ready to let people into yet.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. The auditorium for [movie] is just being cleaned right now.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. No problem.”

    Another customer: *comes running up to me* “What did you say about [movie]? What’s wrong?”

    Me: “Nothing is wrong. We’re just cleaning the seats and aisles before we let people in.”

    Another customer: “Oh, thank goodness! I thought you said it was being ‘cleansed’. I don’t want a movie theater that believes in that new-age spiritual witchcraft stuff!”

    Me: “Oh. Nothing like that happens here.”

    Another customer: “Good!”

    (The movie she was waiting to see? ‘Season Of The Witch’.)


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