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    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    Needs To Adopt A Nicer Outlook

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Religion, Top

    (I am 21, but I look about 16. I am also two weeks away from giving birth to a baby girl, but with my age and the fact that I couldn’t get my act together at the time, I decide to give her up for adoption. I have the family picked, but I decide to make a trip away before I have her. I am sitting down at the library, reading a book.)

    Older Woman: “Good lord, teenagers these days! Thinking they can actually give a baby everything they need. These poor children are going to suffer!”

    (I figure she is talking about me since I am the only pregnant woman around. I stay quiet, but I am getting uncomfortable with what she is saying:)

    Older Woman: “Excuse me miss?” *she taps me on the shoulder*

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Older Woman: “How do you think you can provide for that baby? You only are going to make that child suffer. You should have accepted Christ into your heart.”

    Me: “Listen, ma’am, you have no right to judge me. First, I’m 21, out of high school, and I have my own apartment. Second, you don’t know my story, or you would realize that even though I love my daughter very much, I know I can’t provide for her, so I’ve chosen to give her a better life and will be placing her for adoption with an amazing family. Third, do you not see the cross around my neck? I am very Christian, and I know that god gave me my daughter for a reason, and he gave me her parents for another reason. Now, I do know some young parents, and they are better mothers than I could ever be. Now, if you could please let me get back to my book, I want to have a little bit of a calm time before I go back home, and make the preparations for my daughters’ birth.”

    (The older woman is very shocked and leaves. Another man who has heard what I have said looks at me, leaves for about five minutes, then comes back with a big chocolate chip muffin and a big apple juice, which he sets in front of me.)

    Man: “I saw you come in earlier with the apple juice, and after the crap that woman said, figured you and the baby could use a treat. But your comment about the young mothers that are better mothers than you? You are doing the best thing for your daughter, and you are the best mother I know.”

    (He walked away before I could say anything, but his comments made me cry in the good way. Two weeks later, my daughter was born, and she has the best parents around, and she will have so much support. To that man, thank you for what you said and did.)

    Gotta Catch Them All Ages, Part 2

    | Bloomington, IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Religion

    (A customer in her sixties comes in to buy a ticket. She’s wearing a sweatshirt that has the Pokémon Magikarp saying, ‘I swear to God, when I evolve, I’m going to kill you all.’)

    Me: “Do you like Pokémon?”

    Customer: *offended* “Pokémon?! No! Why?”

    Me: “Well, that’s a Pokémon on your sweatshirt. It’s an awful one, but it evolves into one that’s totally awesome!”

    Customer: “This is a Pokémon? I thought this was a statement about atheism!”

    Related:
    Gotta Catch Them All Ages

    Nothing’s Gonna Save His Sole

    | VA, USA | Religion, Rude & Risque

    (I work at a religious call center that takes prayer requests for the people who call in. It’s late on Sunday night.)

    Caller: “Hi, I want prayer.”

    Me: “Certainly, sir. What can I pray for you?”

    Caller: “Are you wearing shoes?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I am wearing shoes. What can I pray for you?”

    Caller: “Can you take your shoes off?”

    Me: “No, sir, we have a dress code. I can’t take my shoes off. ”

    Caller: “Are you wearing high heels?”

    Me: “No, sir. What can I pray for you?”

    Caller: “What shoes are you wearing?” *in rapid succession* “Sandals, sling backs, sneakers, flip flops—”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t talk about my shoes with you.”

    Caller: *click*

    This Silver Story Is Pure Gold

    | New York, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Religion

    (A woman is attempting to return some rusted silverware she brought around five years ago from our store. Since it’s no longer on file and I can’t find any information on it, I call my manager, who happens to be both a former priest, and married.)

    Manager: “Okay, ma’am, please understand I can’t return this for its original price as this set is no longer in our system. I can return it for the price of our cheapest on-hand set, though.”

    Customer: “No, I want it for the original price. Nothing less. It was about $90.00, I believe.”

    Manager: “I am sorry ma’am, but I can’t do that on an item that’s over five years old.”

    Customer: “Oh, I think you can.” *she leans over the register and purses her lips* “I’d make it worth your while.”

    Manager: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: *smiles seductively* “I’m sure I could find some means of compensating you for such a nice favor.”

    (My manager stares at the woman for several seconds, then pulls out his wallet.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, I’d like you to have a look at this…”

    (The manager pulls out his ID that shows he’s been ordained.)

    Manager: “Now, I want you to look at this.”

    (He pulls out a picture of him with his wife, while holding up the hand his wedding ring is on.)

    Manager: “Now, I want you to take your cruddy silverware and leave before I call security.”

    Customer: *reels back* “Well, I never! I hope that b**** divorces your a** and takes everything you own, you f***!” *storms out*

    Acts Of God

    | Australia | Money, Religion

    (My job is to process insurance claims made for home and contents damages only. I make an out-bound call.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, this is [me] from [company] calling. Is [customer] available, please?”

    Customer: “Speaking.”

    Me: “Oh, good afternoon. I’m just calling in regards to the recent insurance claim made for your ‘outhouse.’ Do you have a few minutes?”

    Customer: “Certainly.”

    Me: “Okay, fantastic. We have received the report from [builder] regarding the damages to your ‘outhouse.’ In this report they have identified that the ‘outhouse’ in question is in fact a caravan and not an ‘outhouse.’ In light of this I’m calling to advise that it isn’t covered by your home insurance.”

    Customer: *clearly doesn’t understand this* “But I use it as an outhouse, it hasn’t moved in the last 34 years. I use it to help those in need for a shelter for an evening or two. I’m doing God’s work here. It’s an outhouse.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I understand that, and whilst I respect the use that you put it to, it doesn’t change the fact that it is in fact, a caravan. We won’t be able to provide coverage in this instance.”

    Customer: “But I’m doing God’s work! Do you hate God? Are you a heathen?!”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I do not hate God. I am not religious and whilst I respect that you are, religion has nothing to do with insurance. For your caravan to be covered in future by [company] you will need to purchase caravan insurance for it, but I must advise you that if you purchase this now, all pre-existing damage will not be covered.”

    Customer: “HEATHEN!” *click*

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