Category: Religion

There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

Christmas Is Their Cross To Bear

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(It is a few days before Christmas. I am finishing up with a patron. At this point, she has been nice and cheerful.)

Me: “Okay. We will give you a call when the book comes in. Thank you and have a good night!”

Patron: “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Me: “Um, no. I handed you back your card, didn’t I?”

Patron: “No. You didn’t address me correctly. Try again.”

Me: “…Have a good night, miss?”

Patron: “It is the time of Christ and you did not bless me with a Merry Christmas. What kind of Christian establishment hires such heathens that do not bless their customers with the correct Christian way?”

Me: “Well, honestly, ma’am, this isn’t a Christian establishment. It’s a public library. I apologize for not wishing you a Merry Christmas.”

Patron: “Every single place on this Earth is a Christian establishment and until you realize this you are headed straight to Hell. Next time I come in, I expect you to bless me and have a proper Christian attitude. I will take this up with your boss if your behavior continues to trend this way.”

(She stares me down for a few minutes and then leaves. I later find out she did complain to my director and insisted she follow the laws of God by only employing good Christian people!)

A Time For Giving (A Piece Of Your Mind)

| Newark, DE, USA | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I’ve gone to pick up a few things. I am in the line for the register when I hear someone yelling. Since I’m a curious person and the store isn’t very busy, I leave with my cart to see what’s going on. I soon see a woman in her 30s lecturing a boy in his teens who works in the store.)

Customer: “People like you disgust me! Not everyone is Christian! You shouldn’t tell people to celebrate something from a faith they don’t believe in! F*** you and your ‘Merry Christmas!’ religious erasure!”

(The employee is clearly overwhelmed. He’s been very sweet in helping me in the past so, against my better judgment, I step in.)

Me: “Even if you aren’t Christian, it’s still nice to hear that someone wants you to have a good holiday. Peace on Earth, goodwill towards man, not erasure. If you even bothered to talk to this guy for more than a few seconds you’d know how nice he is. He just wants you to have a good holiday season, lady.”

Customer: “You, too! You’re just as rude and disgusting as this brat. I bet you and him go around thumping gays with bibles to turn them straight! I’m going to report the both of you!”

Me: “Lady, I’m agnostic. That means I accept the fact that we don’t know for sure if there is a God or not. As such, I should just be the best person I can be because it’s the right thing to do. I love Christmas time. It’s full of love for everyone and it’s a time for family and friends to all come together. It’s full of people doing good for each other. If you don’t like people wishing you a good holiday just because of the religion that celebrates the holiday, you’re just as bigoted as the people who really do want erasure. Also, I’m bi. So I wouldn’t go around ‘thumping’ anyone for their sexuality.”

(The customer sputters for a minute before storming off with her cart. The employee looks at me after a few seconds to calm himself down.)

Employee: “I only said it because she said she was planning Christmas dinner…”

The Only Thing She Skipped Was Kwanzaa

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I’m standing behind a nice old lady who is checking out at the grocery store.)

Lady: “You look like you both need a smile. This is for you!”

(She hands the cashier a few pieces of Christmas themed candy, and gives one to me.)

Cashier: “Oh, thank you! Happy Holidays!”

Lady: “Oh, it’s okay. You can say ‘Merry Christmas’ to me. I know you want to.”

Cashier: “Actually, I’m Jewish—”

Lady: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. Oh, yes! Feliz Navidad to you!”

(The cashier and I both just smiled, because regardless of what you call it, she still had the best seasonal spirit!)

Tis The Season To Be Deaf To Reason

| ME, USA | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Hello, ma’am! How are you doing today?”

Customer: “Oh, just fine. Thanks. Last minute preparations. Are you ready for Christmas?”

Me: “I suppose you can say that.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, I don’t celebrate Christmas. So I’m always ready for it, in a way.”

Customer: “What?! Why don’t you celebrate Christmas?”

Me: “I’m not Christian.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: *a little slower* “I’m not Christian.”

Customer: *louder* “What?”

Me: “I’m an atheist.”

Customer: *near shouting* “I’m just not understanding!”

Me: “I don’t believe that any god exists.”

Customer: “WHAT? I JUST AM NOT UNDERSTANDING!”

Me: “…I celebrate Christmas.”

Customer: *in normal volume* “Well, of course, dear. Everyone does! Merry Christmas and God bless!”

(She gives me a jaunty wave and heads out if the store. My bagger turns to me.)

Bagger: “Am I in crazy-town?”

Me: “Apparently we’re in Bethlehem.”

Needs To Take A Sabbath-ical From Stupidity

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Religion

(I am the manager of the cashiers. A customer is talking to one of my cashiers.)

Customer: “You know you are going to Hell? Right?”

Coworker: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You are going because you are working on a Sunday.”

Coworker: “Well, I guess I will see you there since you are shopping.”

(The customer’s face goes red but he says nothing else. He pays and leaves. The coworker comes up to me.)

Coworker: “Oh, gosh. I am not going to get fired am I?”

Me: “Not by my standards you aren’t!”

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