Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle
    (1,704 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    The End Is Nigh-Phone

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Religion, Technology

    (An elderly customer calls our shop trying to find out if we have another location that is close enough to his address to deliver to him. I grab one of the menus with our locations and phone numbers on it to assist him, since we can’t access the internet in the store.)

    Caller: “I’m in [town an hour south of us].”

    Me: “Okay, well we have a shop in [town just north of him].”

    Caller: “No, no, I already called them! They said it was too far!”

    Me: “Oh, alright, sorry about that. The next location I’m showing here is in [big city even further south].”

    Caller: “I ain’t going into the city!”

    Me: “Okay. Well, the next thing we could try is if you have access to a computer; you can go on our website and it will be able calculate from your address—”

    Caller: “I ain’t got one of those d*** computers, and I have no desire for one either.”

    Me: “Um, okay, well—”

    Caller: “Because when the end comes, I’m gonna be sitting back in my house laughing and watching all the chaos while everyone else goes crazy because your iPhones don’t work no more!”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Caller: “Well thanks anyway for your help, and you think about what I said, missy.” *hangs up*

    Convicted By His Convictions

    | Amsterdam, The Netherlands | Hotels & Lodging, Liars & Scammers, Religion, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I work in a five-star hotel in Amsterdam. It is standard policy that guests give their credit card number upon check-in, or a cash deposit if they do not have a credit card. If they use up a lot of their credit, sometimes reception has to contact the guest for an extra cash deposit. We notice on a Saturday that a guest has completely spent his deposit on watching pay TV of a certain explicit nature. My coworker rings the guest in his room with the request that he should come down to reception to give us more cash.)

    Coworker: *to me* “Well, that did not go down very well. He says he did not spend any of his deposit, and he is coming down to reception to see the bill after he is finished praying.”

    (At that moment, the elevator door opens and man in full Jewish prayer garb steps out.)

    Guest: “I have just been called about my bill, and I would like to see it.”

    Coworker: “Sure, I have already printed it out. As you can see, you have watched TV here, here and here, and that is why your balance is so low.”

    Guest: “There is no way I watched that filth! Look at me! Do I look like a man who would watch that sort of shocking thing? I don’t understand that a hotel would subject its guests to that kind of immoral muck in the first place. I don’t want anything to do with that! God-fearing people like I should be protected from accidentally zapping to those kinds of channels.”

    Coworker: “Well, sir, you did not accidentally zap to that channel. You have to type your room number to activate this program. After five minutes, you get a message on screen that you have to start paying now, and type in the room number again. Then the system asks you to press the confirm button. You cannot do all that by accident. Furthermore, I can see in the records that you watched this channel on three different days for more than two hours at a time. This indicates to me that you have watched a full movie on all these occasions, so I am not satisfied that you accidentally landed on this channel for a few seconds.”

    (The guest throws a few banknotes in my coworker’s face and marches off.)

    Me: *to coworker* “I have a feeling this is not the end of it”.

    (At that moment, the phone rings, and I can see the guest’s room number in the display.)

    Me: *to coworker* “It’s your friend from the pay TV room; you’d better take this call.”

    Coworker: *on the phone to the guest* “Yes, sir, you told me that you could not understand that a hotel would subject its guests to that kind of immoral muck in the first place, that you did not want anything to do with that, and that God-fearing people like you should be protected from accidentally zapping to that kind of channels. So I put the child lock on so that you did not have to be subjected to the filth anymore. Have a nice day…”

    Worshiping A Vengeful God

    | Waco, TX, USA | Money, Movies & TV, Religion

    (At our theater, matinee ends at 6 pm, and 3D movies cost $2.50 more than regular ones. It’s about 5:50 pm and I’m selling tickets for a 6pm showing.)

    Customer: “Well, I’d like two for The Avengers.”

    Me: “Alright, the 6 pm is in 3D; is that okay?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s why we’re watching the 6 pm one!”

    Me: “Fantastic. Any student or military IDs for a discount today?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Well, for two tickets that’s $19.”

    Customer: “FOR TWO TICKETS? That’s ridiculous! I thought this place was supposed to be cheap; what am I even paying for?”

    (I’ve zoned out, and just grab his glasses when his wife cuts in.)

    Customer’s Wife: *over her still-ranting husband* “Ignore him. He’s had a bad day. Here’s a twenty.”

    (I finish their transaction and someone walks up to them and greets the man.)

    Other Customer: “Oh, hey Pastor!”

    The Ten Doctors Versus The Ten Commandments

    , | USA | Crazy Requests, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Religion

    (I order my food, and I sit down and start watching an episode of ‘Doctor Who’ on my smartphone with my headphones. Another customer taps me on the shoulder. I turn around to see a girl in her late teens.)

    Customer: “Is that Doctor Who?”

    Me: “Yeah, are you a fan?!”

    Customer: “No! I am asking you to shut it off!”

    Me: “Why?”

    Customer: “Because my church says that Doctor Who is evil, and I am asking you to shut it off.”

    Me: “Umm, no, I am not turning it off. Besides, I have my headphones in, so you don’t have to watch it.”

    Customer: “No, you have to respect my views and turn it off! It’s against my religion; it’s evil! Now turn it off!”

    (The customer grabs for my phone. I pull my phone away before she can grab it.)

    Me: “Don’t touch my phone!”

    Customer:Doctor Who is evil! They are trying to brain-wash our young minds! They want us to support gay marriage and be atheist!”

    Me: “Well, if you really did understand Doctor Who, you would have seen that the Tenth Doctor was talking about Christmas, and he said that he was there when Jesus was born. Also the Doctor is very open-minded; he would save you even if you did call him evil.”

    Customer:DOCTOR WHO IS EVIL!”

    (The customer continues screaming and cussing and eventually gets herself kicked out. Afterwards, one of the restaurant’s workers comes up to me.)

    Worker: “Sorry about that.”

    Me: “It’s okay!”

    Worker: “Best Doctor?”

    Me: “Four, duh!”

    (We then high five, and I go my way.)

    An Open And Shut Reason

    , | USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Religion

    (Our restaurant is open 24 hours a day, and only closes for two days every year. One day in the middle of summer, we unexpectedly close for the day and open the next morning.)

    Me: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Well you can get me the [meal] that I couldn’t get yesterday morning because you guys were closed!”

    Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, sir. Your total will be [total].”

    Customer: “Well I think I should get it for free since you guys were closed. I mean, what was so d*** important you had to close in the middle of summer? What about all the people who need coffee before work and need to buy lunch?”

    Me: “I can get the manager for you, but I highly doubt she will give you your meal for free.”

    (I call the manager over and the customer explains again why he thinks his food should be free.)

    Manager: “Sir, I know it was inconvenient for you and all our other customers, but the store was closed yesterday so we could attend a funeral for a beloved coworker that passed away two days ago. If you want compensation for the inconvenience you will have to take the matter up with God.”

    (The customer doesn’t bother paying and just leaves the store. Thankfully, the majority of our customers are much nicer about the whole ordeal.)

    Page 11/28First...910111213...Last