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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    Comic: The Only Thing She Skipped Was Kwanzaa

    | New York, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Comics, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Religion

    Cookies Are The Devil

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Religion

    (In the sandwich shop where I work, we have a daily special for a different six-inch sub each day. If you order two specials, the total, including tax, will always come out to $6.66. On this day, two elderly ladies come in wearing nun’s wimples and veils.)

    Nun #1: “Hello, dear. I’d like a six-inch [special], please.”

    Nun #2: “Oh, that sounds good! I’ll have the same.”

    (I make the sandwiches and go to the register to ring them up.)

    Me: “Okay, your total comes to $6.66.”

    Nun #1: “Well, I’d say that’s the Lord’s way of telling us to get dessert! We’ll take two cookies, please!”

    Fifty Shades Of (Christian) Grey

    | OR, USA | Books & Reading, Religion, Rude & Risque

    (I work at an accessories store in a mall. There is a Christian store that specializes in books and movies right across from our store, and next to the bathrooms. After directing a customer to the bathrooms, she comes rushing back in with her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed.)

    Customer: “Is that the only bookstore in the mall?”

    Me: “Oh, that’s not actually a bookstore. That’s a Christian store.”

    Customer: “Oh. That explains why the cashier got so angry when I asked where to find Fifty Shades of Grey.”

    Paying Caesar’s Things Back To Caesar

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

    Customer: “Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?”

    Me: “Nope. Your total is $7.00.”

    Customer: “I don’t pay non-believers.”

    Me: “Well, it’s a good thing you’re paying [Delivery Company], then.”

    Customer: “Do you know any commandments, you Satan worshipper?”

    Me: “Thou Shalt Not Steal. Seven dollars, please.”

    (Then he threw a $10 on the counter and left. Three bucks for Satan!)

    Like Sleeping On Heavenly Clouds

    | USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement, Religion

    (We sell mattresses. A customer does a lap around the store and stops at our most expensive beds.)

    Customer: “THIS BED IS ONLY $89?!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, if you qualify for the four-year financing it’s $89 a month.”

    Customer: “Well, there’s no point in me financing a bed, Jesus is coming next year. Have a nice day”

    Me: “…”

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