Category: Religion

There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

A Ham-Handed Approach To Religious Sensitivity

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Religion

(I am working in a café-type chain that specializes in cinnamon-based, circular baked goods, but we also serve sandwiches, crepes, etc. A woman in a hijab comes up and orders a ham and cheese crepe.)

Me: “Right away, ma’am!”

(I start making the food, then realize she is most likely Muslim, and ham is a pork product, so I go back to her.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m very sorry but I just wanted to double check: are you a practicing Muslim? Because ham is a pork product and I know that it is prohibited. If so I have no problems making one with turkey or chicken, or even a vegetarian one for you.”

Customer: “How DARE you ask me about my religion? I’m going to file a complaint about this for your discrimination!”

Me: “I’m very sorry. I don’t believe I was being discriminatory. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to eat something you shouldn’t be eating…”

Customer: “I know what I f****** ordered! Just give me my food!”

Me: “Oookey dokey, right away.”

(I finish making her ham and cheese crepe, and bring it to her where she’s seated.)

Customer: “People like you sicken me.”

(After three or so bites, she storms up to me, slams the food down directly onto the counter, yelling at me:)

Customer: “I SHOULD HAVE YOU FIRED FOR THIS! LOOK AT THIS! THIS IS PIG MEAT!”

(After a few minutes of this lady yelling at me, with me apologizing and explaining the situation, the owner (a practicing Muslim from Lebanon) shows up and asks what’s going on. I explain what happened, he then asks the woman, and she immediately goes on a rant in Arabic to him. Another few minutes later, he says two sentences in Arabic to her, she looks extremely angry and storms away.)

Me: “What did you say to her?”

Owner: “I told her that although she does have ears and a brain, she clearly has many years to go before she actually knows how to use them.”

(Needless to say we never saw her again.)

One Little Vial Of Bigotry

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Religion

(I’m a Pagan/Wiccan so I have on a pentacle necklace. Normally no one even notices it, but this day was very different. I’m working as the greeter on this particular day, so I stand just inside the door and hand out the weekly ad flyer to everyone that comes in. A lady walks in but is staring at her phone when I greet her.)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am!” *hands her the ad flyer* “Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: *without looking up takes the flyer* “Oh, no thank you, honey.”

Me: “Okay, well, if you need any help just let me know!”

Customer: “Thank you.” *finally looks up at me and starts to smile, but then her eyes meet my pentacle necklace with a black crystal hanging from it, and her face freezes* “OH, LORD JESUS SAVE ME! THIS STORE EMPLOYS HEATHEN DEVIL WORSHIPPERS! I CAN’T SHOP HERE!”

(She proceeds to throw the ad flyer back at me and run from the store. A manager ,who has been at the other end of the store, hears the commotion and comes up to check on me.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], what’s going on up here?”

Me: “Oh, I had some customer, throw the ad flyer at me and call me a devil worshipper because she saw my necklace.” *points to it*

Manager: “Well, maybe you shouldn’t wear that here if it causes us to lose customers. Just keep it in your locker or something if you insist on wearing that thing.”

(I look at him in shock, hoping that he would realize that he just violated my freedom of religion, but apparently it never dawns on him. About a week later, I’m working in the same position and the same lady walks in, but I am not wearing my necklace this time, as I’ve stored it in my locker.)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am.” *hands her ad flyer*

Customer: *looks me up and down noticing the lack of pentacle necklace, and visibly relaxes* “Ah, that’s a relief! You’ve finally accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior and have renounced your heathen ways! I’ve been praying for you, child.”

(Having had enough of her religious bigotry, I calmly turn off my radio and look her straight in the eye.)

Me: “No, that’s not it at all. Do you remember the black crystal that was hanging off the bottom of my pendant?”

Customer: “…Off of the devil worship pendant? Yes, what about it?”

Me: “Well, it wasn’t actually a crystal; it was a vial of infants’ blood, and the other day I was really hungry so I ate it.”

(The customer drops the ad flyer from her hand in horrified shock, and runs out the door as fast as she could. Again the manager comes running from the other side of the store.)

Manager: “What the heck is going on up here?! What did you do this time, [My Name]?”

Me: *with completely straight face* “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

(The whole time my co-worker in the printing area was trying to stifle his laughter. He is an Asatru, and has a Thor’s hammer necklace on, but no one ever says anything to him about it…)

Can’t Find Your Cross To Bear

| TX, USA | Holidays, Religion

Customer: “Excuse me; can you help me find some cross stickers?”

Me: “Well, our stickers are over here… Let’s see what we have.”

(We look around. We can’t find any cross stickers.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am…”

Customer: “Isn’t it just a shame how Christians are persecuted in the country?”

Me: *not a Christian* “Uh… they’re kind of seasonal? We had lots around Christmas and Easter.”

Customer: “Well, I guess I’ll try again. But we really shouldn’t be persecuted like this, don’t you think?”

Me: “Uh… good luck finding your stickers.”

A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 4

| CO, USA | Money, Religion, Technology

(I graduated with a PhD in mathematics from a major state university, but being from a fairly tight-knit family, when a storm takes out power to my grandfather’s family-owned business many family members go to help keep things running.)

Customer: “I’m so glad you’re open without power. I can finally get some shopping done.”

Me: “Yeah, I guess a power outage has its upsides, frees up some time.”

Customer: “No, no, no. I had a vision from God, and he told me that math and money were created by the devil…”

Me: “Umm… and the storm changes that how?”

Customer: “Well, without power, you don’t have those machines to add for you, so we can go back to good old fashioned charity, like God intended.”

Cousin: “You do realize we can do the math in our head, right? I mean this guy has a PhD in mathematics. I think he can add some prices up. Also, we have a backup generator; the registers should be up now.”

(The customer couldn’t get out of the store fast enough, brandishing a cross at the cash registers. Apparently, anyone who can do some mental addition is a servant of the devil; that or he wanted free stuff, your pick.)

Related:
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
A Price For The Devil To Pay

The Girl Who Played With Hellfire

| Stockholm, Sweden | Books & Reading, Religion, Rude & Risque

(I’m the customer in this story. I’m a tourist in Stockholm looking for a book for my boyfriend at the time, who is learning Swedish. I don’t speak a word of it. I see a bookstore and just wander in.)

Me: “Hi there. I’m looking for a Swedish book that has something to do with crime. Could you help me with that?”

Clerk: *looks at me dumbfounded* “Uhm. What was that?”

Me: “You know. Something thrilling and exciting ?”

Clerk: “You do realise this is a Catholic book store and we only carry books on religion, right?”

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