Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • De-Engineering Stereotypes
    (1,759 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Politics

    Like a little more satirical meat on your humor sandwich? Ever wonder what very stupid customers view as topical? Even worse, see what happens when these people decide they want to vote! Don’t blame the state of the world on the government, blame it on them!

    High Cholesterol, Low IQ

    | Traverse City, MI, USA | Health & Body, Politics

    Patient: “We need to schedule a surgery.”

    Me: *looking over the patient’s chart* “Surgery? For what, ma’am?”

    Patient: “The doctor said I had high cholesterol. And I want him to go in and cut it out. Take it all, I say.”

    Me: “He can’t just go in and remove the cholesterol. There are ways that you can lower your cholesterol.”

    Patient: “Don’t lie to me. There’s cholesterol free food. I’ve seen it. Someone has to go into the food and take it out, now don’t they? You just don’t want me to use my free health care. You probably voted for McCain!”

    Me: “Let me see if I can reach the doctor.”

    Non-Plussed With Tax

    | Washington D.C., USA | At The Checkout, Politics

    Me: “Your total is $22.15 with tax.”

    Customer: “What? How can that be?”

    Me: “Well, you had one stamp at $13.95, and one candle at $6.95.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t add up!”

    Me: “Fourteen plus seven is twenty-one, and then with sales tax.”

    Customer: “I still don’t know how that adds up. Oh well…I guess math has changed with inflation and all.”

    Being The President Sucks

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Books & Reading, History, Politics

    Customer: “Do you have a copy of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

    Me: “I’m not sure, let me check.” *I check our bestsellers section* “No sir, not at this time.”

    Customer: “But did you look back in the history section?”

    Me: “For Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “No, I did not.”

    Big Bother

    | United Kingdom | Extra Stupid, Politics, Top

    (A young girl of 18 or 19, clearly a first-time voter, skips the line and rushes up to my table.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, you’ll have to wait. There’s a line.”

    Voter: “I’m sorry, but it’s important! I need to get my ballot paper back. I voted for the wrong person!”

    Me: “Alright, give me the spoiled one.”

    Voter: “I can’t. I put it in the box.”

    Me: “Then I’m afraid we can’t get it back. The boxes can’t be opened until the end of voting at ten o’clock.”

    Voter: “But I didn’t know! I don’t want the Conservatives to get in so I voted for [Conservative candidate]. I should have voted for someone else!”

    Me: “Um, why did you vote for the Conservative?”

    (The girl turns scarlet and looks utterly miserable.)

    Voter: “I thought it was like TV where you vote them off!”

    Page 8/8First...45678