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  • A Layaway Payaway
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  • Category: Politics

    Like a little more satirical meat on your humor sandwich? Ever wonder what very stupid customers view as topical? Even worse, see what happens when these people decide they want to vote! Don’t blame the state of the world on the government, blame it on them!

    A Liberal In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush

    | Mountain View, CA, USA | Politics

    (While I’m working, a woman comes up to rent a liberal leaning movie. In an attempt to make small talk, I mention that I’m not that into politics, but I really enjoy watching Rachel Maddow’s show on MSNBC.)

    Customer: “Who is that?”

    Me: “She’s a liberal newscaster.”

    Customer: “Oh…well, I’d have to watch 2 hours of Fox just to make up for watching that! I don’t want to get unbalanced!”

    Our Great Dumbocracy, Part 3

    | Framingham, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Politics

    (We’ve just recently switched to a new system where receipts are optional.)

    Me: “…and would you like a receipt today?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “We’re now only printing receipts if you’d like one, in order to save paper. Would you like a receipt?”

    Customer: “Of course I want my receipt! You know, it’s young punks like you who do all your online banking who are responsible for 9-11! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

    Related:
    Our Great Dumbocracy, Part 2
    Our Great Dumbocracy

    Meaty Political Issues

    , | Michigan, USA | Food & Drink, Politics

    (One of the meats we offer is a barbecued shredded beef, which we refer to as Barbacoa.)

    Customer: “I’ll take a burrito with Barack Obama.”

    Me: “One burrito with barbacoa coming up.”

    Customer: “What’d you call it?”

    Me: “Barbacoa.”

    Customer: “Oh, thank God. I’m a Republican.”

    You And Me Could Write A Bipartisan Romance

    | Durham, NC, USA | Movies & TV, Politics, Top

    (I am the first person to arrive at work in the morning, and I answer a call as soon as I walk into the door.)

    Caller: “Finally! I have been calling since 5 am! You people should be ashamed. I have an emergency!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. No one gets here until 10 am most days. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I have a serious problem! My daughter has planned to have a date sometime today at your theater, and I told her she was not allowed to go! I need you to cancel her ticket!”

    (I see no pre-sales for the day at all.)

    Me: “No one has bought a ticket so far for today, so I can’t really help. Maybe you should just make her stay home?”

    Caller: “Well, I can’t do that. She lives in her own place and I can’t get over there in time to stop her.”

    Me: “Just how old is your daughter anyway?”

    Caller: “She’s 28.”

    Me: “Ma’am, she’s an adult and I cannot refuse her a ticket because you do not approve of her date.”

    Caller: “You don’t understand! He’s a Democrat!”

    Birthday Cele-Berations

    | Elkhart, IN, USA | Politics

    Customer: “You don’t have much of a selection for ninetieth birthday parties.”

    Me: “Not many people live that long. Most of our suppliers don’t carry anything past the sixtieth birthday decorations.”

    Customer: “It’s all because of Obama, you know. With his health care system, they just put you out to pasture once you’re sixty-five, and that’s the end of you. He probably told everyone to stop selling things with eighty and ninety on it, so people won’t want to live as long.”

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