Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (1,845 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Politics

    Like a little more satirical meat on your humor sandwich? Ever wonder what very stupid customers view as topical? Even worse, see what happens when these people decide they want to vote! Don’t blame the state of the world on the government, blame it on them!

    A Bush In The Fridge Is Worth Two In The Bush

    | Oslo, Norway | Bizarre, Home Improvement, Politics

    (I work in the customer service desk at a large store selling domestic appliances. This day one of my ‘regulars’ came in. He’s a really old man – and he seldom files complaints, he just wants to know how his stuff is working, and maybe have a chat.)

    Me: “Hello. How may I help you today?”

    Customer: *whispering* “There was something wrong with delivery of my fridge. It came with something in it.”

    (I pull up his records, and see that he bought one of our display models earlier that week. It’s not seldom other customers leave soda bottles or other stuff in the fridges that’s out on the floor, and I immediately think that is the case.)

    Me: “Well, I’m really sorry, sir. But may I ask, exactly what was inside the fridge?”

    Customer: *still whispering* “George W. Bush.”

    Me: “Excuse me? What?”

    Customer: “The American ex-president. The younger one! He was in my fridge and now he’s on my living room floor, all tied up and ready to be shipped back.”

    Me: “Shipped back?”

    Customer: “Oh, don’t worry; I’m not going to have YOU do that, poor thing. I’ve called FedEx. I just wanted to let you know. ”

    Me: *not really knowing what I can do, other than play along* “Well, thank you then, sir. And sorry for your trouble. Is the fridge working okay, though?”

    Customer: “Oh yeah, it’s totally fine! But you should really stop selling appliances with republicans in them. Could hurt your business.”

    Gunning For That Sale

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Politics

    (I have been working with this customer for a little over an hour and a half. He picks out his rifle, ammo, cleaning kit, scope – the whole nine yards. I am excited because we get commission on what we sell. We finally get to the point where we fill out paperwork, background check, etc.)

    Me: “Okay, sir. Now that we have everything ready, if you can, please let me see your ID so we can get the paperwork started?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t need to do paperwork.”

    Me: *thinking he’s joking, I laugh*

    (Awkward silence.)

    Customer: “So… are you gonna ring me up?”

    Me: “You need to fill out the paperwork so I can perform a background check first.”

    Customer: “Look, I’m a police officer. I don’t need to do the paperwork.”

    Me: “Uh, yes, you do. Everyone needs to do paperwork for a firearm purchase, even the president.”

    Customer: “I don’t give a s*** about the president. Now, are you going to sell me the rifle or not?”

    Me: “Are you going to fill out the paperwork?”

    Customer: “Nope. *turns and leaves*

    Me: *screams internally*

    (He came back the next day trying to buy the same rifle but with another employee. I told him the story from the day before. He told the customer to leave. Never saw him again.)

    Making An Amendment To The Amendment

    | SC, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Politics

    (A customer has called in to complain about being assessed a paper statement fee, which we recently implemented. I explained to her multiple times how to enroll in online statements in order to waive the fee, which she feels she shouldn’t have to do.)

    Customer: “I shouldn’t have to do that. This is my money and it is unconstitutional to charge these fees.”

    Me: “Ma’am, these fees are not unconstitutional. We have a team of lawyers who check all of our policies and fees before they are implemented specifically for legality.”

    Customer: “I’m telling you. These fees are unconstitutional and violate my Second Amendment rights!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you do realize that the Second Amendment allows you the right to bear arms and own a gun, don’t you?”

    (Pause…)

    Customer: “Well these fees are still unconstitutional. And wrong. I want to speak to a supervisor!”

    Taiwannical Behavior, Part 2

    | Taiwan | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography, Politics

    (I am Caucasian and work in Taiwan. Taiwan is a de facto independent country, even though China claims otherwise. Chinese tourist are notorious for harassing the locals on that issue, but I never had to deal with that personally.)

    Customer: *rudely, as she enter the store* “You work here?”

    Me: “Yes, I do.”

    Customer: “You live in this city?”

    Me: “Yup, for many years now.”

    Customer: “Why you choose here and not Beijing?”

    Me: *cautiously, as I realize from her accent she is Chinese* “I like the life here.”

    Customer: “But Beijing is better! You should come to Beijing instead.”

    Me: “Beijing is probably very nice. Maybe I will visit someday.”

    Customer: “You better move. This city is no good. Beijing is better.”

    Me: “So, may I assume you are from Beijing?”

    Customer: *proudly* “Yes, I am!”

    Me: “Cool! So we are both foreigners here!”

    (She gave me a very black, angry look, then left the store without saying another word.)

    Related:
    Taiwannical Behavior

    Obama Drama

    | Durham, NC, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Politics

    (I work in a high-end stationery boutique, whose clientele is generally upper middle class and upper class white women in their 40s to 60s – the sort of people whose spending habits didn’t really change when the economy nose dived. This customer appeared to be no different, and the address on the check she paid with confirmed as much.)

    Customer: “Where’s your clearance section?”

    Me: “We actually don’t have clearance sales, outside of our semi-annual sales after Christmas and Father’s Day.”

    Customer: “So everything in here is full-priced?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: *sighs loudly* “Fine, I’ll pay full-price. But I really need to be saving every penny, with that black man as president.”

    Page 1/912345...Last