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  • Raise A Broken Glass To That Employee
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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

    Music With A Beautiful Ending

    | NM, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Musical Mayhem

    (I’m a teenage girl and interning at the local music store my dad works at. As he is also a musician, he has many instruments (guitars, basses, drums, etc.) that he will occasionally leave in his car overnight. The night before this happens a guitar was stolen from his car. My dad describes it, and tells me to be on the lookout for it. As luck would have it, the thief brings it in to try to sell.)

    Thief: “I was wondering how much I could get for this guitar.”

    (I recognize the guitar.)

    Me: “Of course. Let me just look it up.”

    Thief: “Just hurry up. I’m really busy.”

    Me: “I’m having some trouble finding it. Let me just grab my dad. He knows more about this stuff.”

    (After I explain everything to him, my dad leads me back to the register.)

    Dad: “Sorry about that, sir. What did you want to do with this guitar?”

    Thief: “I wanted to know how much I could get for it.”

    Dad: *pretending to look something up* “Funny thing, that guitar is coming up as stolen.”

    Thief: *goes white* “That’s insane, my best friend gave this to me last night!”

    Dad: “Well, he can’t be a very good friend if you’re already trying to sell it.”

    Thief: “You’re crazy, man. I just want to sell this guitar.”

    Dad: “[My Name], go in the back and call the cops, would you?”

    (Before I could do anything the thief abandoned everything and ran out the door. My dad’s coworker called the cops, and they picked up the thief a few blocks away. The best part was that my dad got his fairly expensive guitar back!)

    Not In Concert With Her Purchases

    | MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Musical Mayhem

    Customer: “What is this $295 charge from [Ticket Broker]?! I did not make that!”

    Me: “I can help you with that. It says they were for Beyonce tickets. Do you remember making this charge?”

    Customer: “No, I did not do that!”

    Me: “Did you lose your card?”

    Customer: “Yes, duh!”

    Me: “When was the last time you used the card?”

    Customer: “I don’t know… What has that got to do with anything?”

    Me: “If you lost the card, the last charge you made would be the best place to start. When did you find out the card was lost?”

    Customer: “Today.”

    Me: “Okay, is the $400 ATM withdrawal yesterday yours?”

    Customer: “Yes! That’s mine; that was the last time I had my card. I must have lost it after that.”

    Me: “Well… the [Ticket Broker] charge was done two days before that. So the charge was done before you lost the card. Are you sure you did not buy Beyonce tickets?”

    Customer: “Uh… I could have. Maybe I just forgot… Bye!”

    Me: *thinking, how can one forget buying concert tickets three days ago?*

    Utah Got The Wrong Place

    | Canada | Bizarre, Geography, Musical Mayhem

    (I am working at the box office when the phone rings.)

    Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I’m looking for the Utah Symphony.”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Caller: “The Utah Symphony.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I think you have the wrong number. I’m in Canada.”

    Caller: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes, I’m sure I’m in Canada.”

    Caller: “Is this [Address] in [City], Utah?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m on [Street] in [City], Canada.”

    Caller: “But where can I find the Utah Symphony?”

    Me: “…try Utah?”

    Bring You Bach To The Future

    , | MN, USA | History, Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

    Caller: *has a strange, whistly and whiny voice* ” Hi, I’d like some organ music by Bach, played by Bach.”

    Me: “Well, we have a lot of recordings of Bach’s organ music but we don’t have any of him performing it.”

    Caller: “Well, why not?”

    Me: “Recording technology hadn’t been invented when Bach was alive.                 ”

    Caller: “Well, why not?”

    Me: “Well, in the late 1800’s, Thomas Edison invented—”

    Caller: “[My Name], it’s [Coworker].”

    (One of my coworkers had played the perfect music nerd prank on me!)

    Pretend You Weren’t Listening

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (I work in an electronics store and we sell speakers and sound bars for TVs. We sometimes sell our display units if we are out of stock. One of my coworkers has been talking to a customer about one for ages, but since he is about to leave, he says the customer is happy with it and asks me to pack it up for him. The customer has been watching me struggle with the packaging for about five minutes.)

    Customer: “Thanks for packing that up for me; that looked like it was a hard one to do.”

    (I’m currently putting tape over the box, sealing it in there.)

    Me: “Yeah, it was. You get used to doing it while working, but sometimes it’s particularly difficult. I’m glad I FINALLY got it in though; sorry for taking so long.”

    Customer: “That’s fine. Can I have a listen to it now?”

    Me: “…”

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