Featured Story:
  • Bigotry Is Not On The Menu
    (1,908 thumbs up)
  • Category: Musical Mayhem

    Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

    Missed The Doors Of Opportunity

    | Nashvillle, TN, USA | Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

    (I am running the lights for a concert. The listing online shows the doors open at 6:30 and the music starts at 9. A woman approaches me at my console.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you know when each band is on?”

    Me: “Yes I do, which band are you interested in?”

    Customer: “Did I already miss ‘The Doors’ play, or are they going to be on stage later on tonight?”

    Me: “Um. I think you may have missed your opportunity to see ‘The Doors’ play by a little while.”

    At Least His Answer Is In The Right Aria

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

    (I am giving a tour of the opera house to a group of 5th graders. We are backstage and we pass a large service elevator, generally used to transport grand pianos, costume racks, etc.)

    Me: “So, guys, who can think of a reason why the opera needs such a big elevator?”

    *silence*

    Kid in the back: “Because there are REALLY BIG PEOPLE in operas!”

    No Holding Back

    | Webster, NY, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Technology, Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company] support, can I have your employee ID number, please?”

    Caller: “Yeah, can you put me on hold?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “I called before and complained about the awful hold music you guys use. I want to see if you changed it.”

    Me: “Hold on just a minute.”

    (I put the caller on hold for a minute.)

    Me: “Hello, are you still there ma’am?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I’m here.”

    Me: “So is the hold music any less awful?”

    Caller: “No, not really. Thanks.” *click*

    Watashi Whaaa

    | United Kingdom | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I really like Japanese animation and am learning Japanese as a second language so I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, what kind of music would you recommend? I want to know what CD I should buy.”

    Me: “Oh, I don’t think I listen to the kind of music you’d be interested in.”

    Customer: “That’s not very helpful. Just tell me what kind of music you like.”

    Me: “Well, I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.”

    Customer: “I love that song!”

    Me: “It’s not just one song. There are a lot of songs in Japanese.”

    Customer: “Really? How many.”

    Me: “Oh, far too many to count. There are thousands!”

    Customer: “Well that’s a bit silly, isn’t it, what’s the point in making songs in a language that no one can understand?”

    Me: “A lot of people understand Japanese.”

    Customer: “Like who?”

    Me: “The people who live in Japan?”

    Customer: “You mean Japan’s a real place?! Well, you learn something new every day!”

    Split Over Musical (Price) Differences

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Do you have [popular album]?”

    Me: “Yep. It’s right over here.”

    Customer: “That’s expensive.”

    Me: “That’s pretty average”

    Customer: “I bet [competitor] is cheaper.”

    Me: “I doubt it. We are usually a fair bit cheaper than them.”

    Customer: “I don’t know. I bet they are cheaper.”

    Me: “I don’t think they will be, but they are right upstairs if you want to take a peek and come back.  You will see that we are cheaper.”

    (The customer leaves and comes back 15 minutes later with our competitors bag.)

    Me: “Oh, were they cheaper?”

    Customer: “No, they were a lot more expensive. You should really stop recommending that place.”

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