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    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

    Slippery When Wet

    | Foxboro, MA, USA | Musical Mayhem

    (I’m working at a football stadium at a Bon Jovi concert. A drunk customer orders a water.)

    Customer: “Why can I not have the cap to this!?”

    Me: “It’s policy that we can’t give them to you. People used to throw full bottles onto the field and stages during events and it’s a safety hazard for the performers, athletes, and other members of the audience.”

    Customer: *absolutely serious* “Why would ANYONE want to throw ANYTHING at Bon Jovi?!”

    Pay The Price And Face The Music

    | Langley, BC, Canada | Books & Reading, Musical Mayhem

    (A customer is placing an order for sheet music over the phone.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I need books.”

    Me: “What are you looking for?”

    (The customer lists off three more items, all of which need to be ordered).

    Me: “I can order those for you. However, the store requires a full deposit on sheet music orders.”

    Customer: “Okay. How much is the last book? The Three Sonatas?”

    (The Three Sonatas is a collection of various sonatas by a specific composer.)

    Me: “$34.95.”

    Customer: “I just need one, though.”

    Me: “Unfortunately they’re not printed separately. It’s only available in this collection.”

    Customer: “It’s too expensive.”

    Me: “Then you don’t want me to order it?”

    Customer: “I need it.”

    Me: “So I’ll order it.”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “No?”

    Customer: “I need it. But you give me a discount.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “You order book. I’ll cut out the music I want, and pay discount.”

    May Also Cancel Brain Waves

    | St. Cloud, MN, USA | Musical Mayhem

    (I am helping a customer looking at headphones. He reads one of the tags out loud.)

    Customer: “Black noise canceling headphones. There’s such a thing as black noise?”

    Me: “Sir, those are the color of the headphones.”

    Customer: “Oh, because I’ve heard of that white noise, are you sure it doesn’t just cancel the black noise?”

    Eva-nonsense

    | Bellevue, WA, USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

    (I approach a teenage girl who seems to be looking for something.)

    Customer: “Do you have the Evanescence CD?”

    Me: “That would be over here. It looks like the only one we have left right now is a Australian import version, if that is okay with you?”

    Customer: “What does that mean? Is she singing in Australian or something?”

    Out Of Tune With The Conversation

    | Louisville, KY, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

    (I’ve worked at this camp on and off for a few years, and a lot of the kids remember me from previous years.)

    Kid #1: “Why weren’t you here last year?”

    Me: “This camp and band camp were at the same time, so I chose to go to band camp since it was the last time I’d be with my friends.”

    Kid #1: “That’s so cool! What do you play?”

    Me: “Clarinet in band, but I also play piano.”

    Kid #1: “I play piano too!”

    (We continue talking about different instruments we play when another girl joins in.)

    Kid #2: “I play an instrument, too.”

    Me: “Really? Do you play piano too, or something?”

    Kid #2: “Well, I listen to Taylor Swift. Does that count?”


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