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    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

    Watashi Whaaa

    | United Kingdom | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I really like Japanese animation and am learning Japanese as a second language so I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, what kind of music would you recommend? I want to know what CD I should buy.”

    Me: “Oh, I don’t think I listen to the kind of music you’d be interested in.”

    Customer: “That’s not very helpful. Just tell me what kind of music you like.”

    Me: “Well, I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.”

    Customer: “I love that song!”

    Me: “It’s not just one song. There are a lot of songs in Japanese.”

    Customer: “Really? How many.”

    Me: “Oh, far too many to count. There are thousands!”

    Customer: “Well that’s a bit silly, isn’t it, what’s the point in making songs in a language that no one can understand?”

    Me: “A lot of people understand Japanese.”

    Customer: “Like who?”

    Me: “The people who live in Japan?”

    Customer: “You mean Japan’s a real place?! Well, you learn something new every day!”

    Split Over Musical (Price) Differences

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Musical Mayhem

    Customer: “Do you have [popular album]?”

    Me: “Yep. It’s right over here.”

    Customer: “That’s expensive.”

    Me: “That’s pretty average”

    Customer: “I bet [competitor] is cheaper.”

    Me: “I doubt it. We are usually a fair bit cheaper than them.”

    Customer: “I don’t know. I bet they are cheaper.”

    Me: “I don’t think they will be, but they are right upstairs if you want to take a peek and come back.  You will see that we are cheaper.”

    (The customer leaves and comes back 15 minutes later with our competitors bag.)

    Me: “Oh, were they cheaper?”

    Customer: “No, they were a lot more expensive. You should really stop recommending that place.”

    I Can’t Hear Myself Think, Part 2

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, Musical Mayhem

    (Our store plays soft, acoustic music over the speakers. An old man approaches me angrily.)

    Customer: “Your music is too loud!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Your music is too loud. I can’t read!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Most people like it.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t be playing music in a bookstore! It should be like a library!”

    (He storms off, yelling over his shoulder.)

    Customer: “I don’t come in here to buy things, I come in here to read! It should be like a library!”

    Related:
    I Can’t Hear Myself Think

    I Can’t Hear Myself Think

    | Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (It’s late at night, right before closing, when the phone rings.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [Auto-Parts Store], can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I bought a car stereo from you all a few month ago, and I didn’t really like it so I gave it to my son.”

    Me: “OK.”

    Caller: “Well, he didn’t like it either, so he gave it to our neighbors across the street.”

    Me: “OK.”

    Caller: “Well, they put it in their car and right now it’s sitting in their driveway with the doors open and they’re playing their music really loud!”

    Me: “Yes…. well what do you want me to do?”

    Caller: “I need you to come over here and tell them to turn it down!”

    Slippery When Wet

    | Foxboro, MA, USA | Musical Mayhem

    (I’m working at a football stadium at a Bon Jovi concert. A drunk customer orders a water.)

    Customer: “Why can I not have the cap to this!?”

    Me: “It’s policy that we can’t give them to you. People used to throw full bottles onto the field and stages during events and it’s a safety hazard for the performers, athletes, and other members of the audience.”

    Customer: *absolutely serious* “Why would ANYONE want to throw ANYTHING at Bon Jovi?!”


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