November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Musical Mayhem

Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

For Every CD, Turn, Turn, Turn

| Portsmouth, NH, USA | Money, Musical Mayhem, Top

Customer: “Can I put some CDs on hold?”

Me: “Sure, just pick out what you want and we can put them behind the counter.  However, we will only hold items for 24 hours.”

Customer: “That’s fine. I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

(The customer then spends about an hour picking out approximately 20 CDs.)

Customer: “Can you tell me how much they will be?”

(I add up the prices using a calculator.)

Me: “The total for the CDs is $280, but with sales tax it will be around $295.”

Customer: “Okay, that’s fine.”

Me: “They’ll be here behind the counter until tomorrow when we close. After that time, we’ll put them back.”

(The customer does not come back the next day. I leave the CDs behind the counter for a few more days, just in case. About two weeks later, I’m eating my lunch in the back when a coworker interrupts me.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry to bother you, but there’s a customer out here who says you put some CDs on hold for him. I can’t seem to find them and he’s getting really mad.”

(I go up to the register and recognize the customer. His arms are crossed and he’s tapping his foot impatiently.)

Customer: “Yes! You were the one! Where are my CDs?”

Me: “Sir, I told you that we could only hold them for 24 hours. That was almost two weeks ago. I even waited a few extra days before putting them back.”

Customer: “You didn’t tell me I only had 24 hours!”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure that I did. I tell everybody.”

Customer: “Do you know how long it took me to find those? Now I’m going to have to do it all over again and you’re going to help me since this is your fault!”

(We spend about 45 minutes going around the store together. The whole time, he continues to yell at me and complain that he was never told about the 24 hour rule and I’ve made him waste his time. When he says he’s done, we bring the CDs up to the counter and I ring up everything while my coworker puts them in bags.)

Me: “Okay, the total is $293.79.”

Customer: “What?! How the h*** could it be that much?!”

Me: “Well, you have about 20 CDs here. That’s why it is so much. I told you the price the last time you came in.”

Customer: “You did not! Liar! LIAR!”

Me: “Yes, I did. I added them up on a calculator. I told you that with sales tax the total amount would be around $295.”

Customer: “YOU DID NOT!”

Me: “Okay… fine, but regardless the total is $293.79.”

Customer: “I want a discount for your lousy service!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there will be no discount.”

Customer: “Well, I need these CDs immediately or else I’d just walk out, but be warned that I’m going to make a complaint about you!”

(He gives me a credit card, which is declined. He gives me another credit card, which is also declined. He wants to write a check, but our store does not accept checks for purchases over $100.)

Customer: “I don’t have much cash! What am I going to do? Can I just write you an IOU? I’ll be back tomorrow morning with the money.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that is not possible. My only suggestions would be to put some of the CDs back—”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “—or perhaps we can try to spread out the total amount over the credit cards, a check, and cash.”

Customer: “Do that!”

(We spend quite awhile trying smaller and smaller amounts on his credit cards, but they’re all declined. He only has $6 cash, which only leaves a check.)

Customer: “You can take a check for the whole amount, can’t you?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.  Even if I wanted to, the register won’t accept check amounts over $100.”

Customer: “Just put the whole thing in as cash!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that either.”

Customer: “How about YOU pay for them and I’ll pay you back? You OWE me at least that much!”

Me: “That is not going happen, sir.”

(He spends a few minutes pacing and mumbling that he needs the CDs and he doesn’t understand why I won’t work with him. Eventually, he dumps the CDs out of the bags and begins to go through them.)

Customer: “I can’t choose! Just put them all on hold for me and I’ll be back tomorrow morning!”

Me: “Okay, but you do understand that if you do not come back by close tomorrow, that the CDs will be put back, right?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “24 hours… tomorrow… right?”

Customer: “YES! I’M NOT STUPID!”

(He never came back.)

Goodnight Loon

| Middlebury, CT, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem

(I’m at work when a teenage customer sees a bracelet I’m wearing.)

Teenage Customer: *looking at my bracelet* “What’s that say?”

Me:Our hearts are heavy burdens we shouldn’t have to bear alone.”

Teenage Customer: “That’s nice. What’s it from?”

Me: “A song by Go Radio.”

Teenage Customer: “Can I have your bracelet?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Teenage Customer: “Your bracelet. Can I have it?”

Me: “Sorry, but this was given to me by the band when I saw them last October.”

Teenage Customer: “But I WANT it!”

Me: “Sorry, but if you want one like this, you either have to see them on tour or go on their webstore. I’m sure they’ll have them in either place.”

(Suddenly, the teenage customer freaks and GRABS at my wrist, slapping the counter when I pull it back.)

Teenage Customer: “I WANT THAT ONE! Why are YOU so special that they gave it to you?!”

Me: “Some little teenage brat mashed gum into my hair because I wouldn’t give her my spot at the barrier. All of the bands found out and Go Radio gave me this.”

Teenage Customer: *suddenly calm* “Oh… can I have it, then?”

Me: “What part of ‘no’ did you not understand?”

Teenage Customer: “I guess I should look up the webstore then…”

(She walks off, leaving my manager and the next customer confused.)

Next Customer: “What in the h*** was THAT about?!”

Disco Stu Gets Our Approval

| USA | Musical Mayhem, Top

(I’m standing next to a music demo display and talking to a coworker. A family walks by with their two little girls in tow. The parents are bickering and are too busy to notice what their girls are doing.)

Coworker: *to me* “So, after you get done here go ahead and start binning, start with 46 and then—”

(Suddenly, one of the little girls presses a button on the music demo display, effectively interrupting us with loud music.)

Coworker: *doesn’t miss a beat and breaks into wild disco moves*

(The girl and her sister stare with huge grins on their faces. The parents are too busy bickering to notice. When the music stops, my coworker resumes talking to me as if nothing has happened.)

Coworker: “—and after 46, help with the top of the steel…”

(I gained a lot of respect for my coworker that night!)

Disco Stu Does Not Approve

Musicery Loves Company

| Bethany Beach, DE, USA | Musical Mayhem

(I’m 17, and am working in a toy shop on the boardwalk. We play tropical and beach-themed music on speakers in the store promoting CDs we sell. This happens after I have already been working six hours listening to the same CD on repeat.)

Customer #1: “Oh cool! Are those steel drums in the song?”

Me: “Yes, they are. I like them too.”

Customer #1: “Do you sell this CD, or are you just playing it?”

Me: “We actually do sell it, as well as a few others. They’re on the counter next to the cash register if you’re interested.”

Customer #1: “Thanks!”

(The customer goes over to browse. In a few minutes, a sudden thunderstorm breaks, and the rain is so hard that none of the customers will leave the shop. Everyone, including the customer, has huddled near the door to watch the storm.)

Customer #1: “Geez, when do you think this rain is going to stop?”

Me: “I don’t know. These storms happen sometimes near the ocean, but they usually pass pretty quickly.”

(Two minutes pass in relative silence. The music is still playing.)

Customer #1: “Does this music play everyday?”

Me: “Yes, usually, unless another CD is used.”

Customer #1: “All day?”

Me: “Yep, it’s been playing since I came in this morning.”

Customer #1: *without warning* “IF THIS MUSIC DOES NOT STOP PLAYING, I WILL KILL MYSELF!!”

Me: *speechless*

Customer #1: “AAARGH!”

(Customer #1 runs out of the shop and down the boardwalk in the torrential rain, while the remaining customers and I stare at him.)

Customer #2: “I bet you feel like that about the music too.”

Me: *sighs* “Yep, pretty much…”

The Stairway To Heaven Is To The Left

| Springfield, MO, USA | Musical Mayhem

(This occurs when I have just gotten off of work. I have my hair down, and I am waiting on my fiancé to come pick me up. I’m an almost 29-year-old female with a passionate love for music. I listen to a bit of everything. Today, I happen to be singing to Kashmir by Led Zeppelin.)

Older Customer: “STOP SINGING THAT!”

Me: “Sir?”

Older Customer: “You are singing Led Zeppelin. You are too young to listen to that. It makes me SICK!”

Me: “Watch me.”

(I put in my ear buds, crank the volume up and continue singing along.)

Older Customer: “Young people trying to live in OUR ERA!” *stomps off*