Category: Musical Mayhem

Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

The Stairway To Heaven Is To The Left

| Springfield, MO, USA | Musical Mayhem

(This occurs when I have just gotten off of work. I have my hair down, and I am waiting on my fiancé to come pick me up. I’m an almost 29-year-old female with a passionate love for music. I listen to a bit of everything. Today, I happen to be singing to Kashmir by Led Zeppelin.)

Older Customer: “STOP SINGING THAT!”

Me: “Sir?”

Older Customer: “You are singing Led Zeppelin. You are too young to listen to that. It makes me SICK!”

Me: “Watch me.”

(I put in my ear buds, crank the volume up and continue singing along.)

Older Customer: “Young people trying to live in OUR ERA!” *stomps off*

Mentally Unplugged

| San Diego, CA, USA | Musical Mayhem

Me: “Hi, [music store], this is [my name]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Where the h*** do I plug this guitar in?”

Me: “Oh, you have an electric guitar there? And an amplifier?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just bought this beginner’s all-in-one package from you guys, and when I opened the box, there’s a cord missing.”

Me: “Um, if you bought the ‘Strat Pack’, it should come with a six foot black cable in a plastic bag.”

Customer: “Yeah, I have that. But where do I plug it in?”

Me: “Just plug one end into the guitar near the bottom, and the other end into the amp where it says ‘input’.”

Customer: “No, I got that already. Where do I plug it in?”

Me: “Um…you already have it connected to the amp?”

Customer: “Yeah, now how do I plug it in? There’s no cord!”

Me: *confused* “Um, I don’t think I understand how you can plug in the guitar and not have it plugged in.”

Customer: “It’s plugged in to the amp already! The amp is plugged in to the wall! How do I plug the GUITAR in to the WALL? It’s an ELECTRIC guitar, right?”

Me: “Ohhh! If you already have it plugged in from the guitar to the amp, then it should work already. Did you try turning on the amp and strumming the guitar yet?”

Customer: “That’s not how it works, is it?!”

(I hear fumbling noises in background, followed by a very loud “TWANG!”)

Customer: “Well, how the h*** did that happen?”

Me: “Got it okay now?”

Customer: *slams phone down with a BANG*

Help Is On The Way

| Oregon, USA | Musical Mayhem, Top

(I’ve just gotten off work and am waiting behind the building for my friend to come pick me up. I’m listening to music but forgot my headphones, so it’s playing through the speaker. Two teenage girls, one wearing a Twilight shirt and another a Justin Bieber Shirt walk past me chatting. Accompanying them is who I assume is their younger brother, who is obviously not liking the conversation. He can’t be more than ten years old.)

Teenager #1: *whispers to her friend about my music* “What awful tastes.”

Teenager #2: *nods in agreement* “Freaks, I tell you.”

(Instead of agreeing with the girls, the little kid stops and talks to me.)

Little Kid: *to me* “What’s that?”

Me: “Rise Against. They’re an awesome punk band.”

Little Kid: “Thanks!” *catches up to the two teens with a smile*

(I feel as though I did some good today.)

This Strange Kind Of Woman Needs To Hush

| Queensland, Australia | Musical Mayhem, Top

(When Guitar Hero first came out, our store had the game set up for customers to play in-store. A customer who looks to be in her late thirties or early forties is checking out. She has been aggressive and rude the entire time she has been in the store, going so far as to harass other customers trying to shop.)

Customer: “…And you should turn off this CD! It’s giving me a headache!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. It’s actually not a CD, but a new game which we have set up for people to try. You can see some people playing it over there right now.” *I point them out* “We do have the volume about as low as we can while still allowing people to enjoy the game properly.”

Customer: “Well, you should at least make it play some decent music! You kids don’t know what good music is. I’m so sick of hearing this stupid modern teeny-bopper kid music in every damn shop. It just pisses me off. Guess what? Most of us aren’t that young, and we don’t want to listen to music only teenagers these days could enjoy! They stopped making good music before you were even born! You’ve probably never even heard good music!”

Me: “I really am sorry, ma’am, and if it were a CD I would turn it off for you, but other customers are enjoying the game right now. I have to say, though, you look amazing! I never would have guessed you were old enough to consider Deep Purple music only for the younger generation.”

Customer: *flustered* “Well! I didn’t mean the current song, obviously! The band that was playing before this song!”

Me: “…Cream?”

(The customer eventually left, muttering the whole way about about kids and teenagers. The three ‘kids’ playing the game while she was in-store? Grey-bearded gentlemen well over fifty.)

Not As Easy As A-B-C

| Anchorage, AK, USA | Musical Mayhem

Customer: “Excuse me, I have a question about this tin radio.”

Me: “Sure! What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Well, it says it plays the ABC song, but it doesn’t.”

Me: “Oh, you just have to turn this knob and it plays until it winds down.”

Customer: “Yeah, but it doesn’t play the ABC Song! It plays Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!

Me: “Well, they’re the same melody. See?” *sings the first line of both songs*

Customer: “No, listen!”

(She winds up the radio enough for it to play the whole song; there are a few embellishments towards the end.)

Customer: “See?! That’s not how the ABC song goes!”

Customer’s Husband: “Maybe they just play it differently.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not the way I sing it!”

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