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  • His Attitude Speaks Volumes
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    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

    I Dreamed A Dream Of Calls Gone By

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (I work at a place that does repairs for Sony computers, stereos, cameras and the like. Hence, our store has the word ‘Sony’ in the title.)

    Me: “Good morning, [company name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Is that Sony Music?”

    Me: “No, sorry, this is Sony Repairs.”

    Customer: “I’m trying to get through to Simon Cowell. He works with Susan Boyle.”

    Me: “No, sorry. We repair Sony laptops.”

    Customer: “So, you’re not Sony Music. Repairs are no good. Thanks.”

    Hannah Montana, I Choose You

    | Woburn, MA, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

    Me: “Excuse me, do you need help?”

    Customer: “Yes, actually. Would you happen to know what a good game for a seven year old boy? I need a present for my grandson.”

    Me: “Well, you could always go with a classic Mario or Pokémon game.”

    Customer: “Well what are those about?”

    (I give a very general description, explaining the basics of the concepts since she was obviously new to video games.)

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Those sound very violent to me.”

    Me: “Well, they’re very popular games, especially among young boys.”

    Customer: *thinks for a moment* “No, I think those games are too violent. I’ll just get him this one.”

    (She picks up the latest Hannah Montana game for the DS and walks off.)

    Related:
    Chinchilla, I Choose You

    Missed The Doors Of Opportunity

    | Nashvillle, TN, USA | Musical Mayhem

    (I am running the lights for a concert. The listing online shows the doors open at 6:30 and the music starts at 9. A woman approaches me at my console.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you know when each band is on?”

    Me: “Yes I do, which band are you interested in?”

    Customer: “Did I already miss ‘The Doors’ play, or are they going to be on stage later on tonight?”

    Me: “Um. I think you may have missed your opportunity to see ‘The Doors’ play by a little while.”

    At Least His Answer Is In The Right Aria

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Musical Mayhem

    (I am giving a tour of the opera house to a group of 5th graders. We are backstage and we pass a large service elevator, generally used to transport grand pianos, costume racks, etc.)

    Me: “So, guys, who can think of a reason why the opera needs such a big elevator?”

    *silence*

    Kid in the back: “Because there are REALLY BIG PEOPLE in operas!”

    No Holding Back

    | Webster, NY, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company] support, can I have your employee ID number, please?”

    Caller: “Yeah, can you put me on hold?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “I called before and complained about the awful hold music you guys use. I want to see if you changed it.”

    Me: “Hold on just a minute.”

    (I put the caller on hold for a minute.)

    Me: “Hello, are you still there ma’am?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I’m here.”

    Me: “So is the hold music any less awful?”

    Caller: “No, not really. Thanks.” *click*


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