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  • Customer Service Is Over(reaction)
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    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

    Not As Easy As A-B-C

    | Anchorage, AK, USA | Musical Mayhem

    Customer: “Excuse me, I have a question about this tin radio.”

    Me: “Sure! What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “Well, it says it plays the ABC song, but it doesn’t.”

    Me: “Oh, you just have to turn this knob and it plays until it winds down.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but it doesn’t play the ABC Song! It plays Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!

    Me: “Well, they’re the same melody. See?” *sings the first line of both songs*

    Customer: “No, listen!”

    (She winds up the radio enough for it to play the whole song; there are a few embellishments towards the end.)

    Customer: “See?! That’s not how the ABC song goes!”

    Customer’s Husband: “Maybe they just play it differently.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s not the way I sing it!”

    Right State, Wrong Situation

    | USA | Musical Mayhem

    (I volunteer at a theater where a lot of Broadway national tours come through. The show “Jersey Boys” is at the theater for a few weeks. Also, there is a symphony going on at the other theater in the building. I’m taking tickets for Jersey Boys when an elderly patron approaches me.)

    Me: “Are you here for the symphony or the musical?”

    Patron: “Yeah, uh, Jersey Shore?”

    Me: “Do you mean Jersey Boys?”

    Patron: “Yeah, that one.”

    Supermarket, The Musical

    | Gainesville, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Musical Mayhem

    (It has been a quiet morning but the store has been filling up and it is very loud. My ears haven’t quite adjusted yet.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    (I begin scanning and bagging her items.)

    Customer: *mumbling*

    Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

    (The customer mumbles, and then begins singing something unintelligible. We play music in the store, so I thought she was singing along.)

    Customer: *gradually increasing in volume* “No bag…no bag…NO bag…NO BAG!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, are you singing, ‘No bag’?”

    Customer: “Well, I told you a couple of times, but you went ahead and started bagging, so I decided to sing it!”

    Customers Are Going Gaga

    , | San Juan, Puerto Rico | At The Checkout, Money, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I’m working the cash register. A male customer of about 40 comes by and places their order. He proceeds to give me his credit card.)

    Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

    (He stares at me for a moment then breaks out into song as he hands me the ID.)

    Customer: “Can’t read my, can’t read my, no you can’t read my pooooookeer faaaaaaace!”

    Bad Jokes Are Music To Their Ears

    | Mountain View, CA, USA | Musical Mayhem

    Customer: “Hey, do you guys carry any mandolins?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “How about…” *dramatic pause*Wo-mandolins?”

    Me: “No.”

    (The customer leaves with a grin on his face.)

    Next customer: “Really?”


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