Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,245 thumbs up)
  • Category: Musical Mayhem

    Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

    Help Is On The Way

    | Oregon, USA | Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I’ve just gotten off work and am waiting behind the building for my friend to come pick me up. I’m listening to music but forgot my headphones, so it’s playing through the speaker. Two teenage girls, one wearing a Twilight shirt and another a Justin Bieber Shirt walk past me chatting. Accompanying them is who I assume is their younger brother, who is obviously not liking the conversation. He can’t be more than ten years old.)

    Teenager #1: *whispers to her friend about my music* “What awful tastes.”

    Teenager #2: *nods in agreement* “Freaks, I tell you.”

    (Instead of agreeing with the girls, the little kid stops and talks to me.)

    Little Kid: *to me* “What’s that?”

    Me: “Rise Against. They’re an awesome punk band.”

    Little Kid: “Thanks!” *catches up to the two teens with a smile*

    (I feel as though I did some good today.)

    This Strange Kind Of Woman Needs To Hush

    | Queensland, Australia | Musical Mayhem, Top

    (When Guitar Hero first came out, our store had the game set up for customers to play in-store. A customer who looks to be in her late thirties or early forties is checking out. She has been aggressive and rude the entire time she has been in the store, going so far as to harass other customers trying to shop.)

    Customer: “…And you should turn off this CD! It’s giving me a headache!”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am. It’s actually not a CD, but a new game which we have set up for people to try. You can see some people playing it over there right now.” *I point them out* “We do have the volume about as low as we can while still allowing people to enjoy the game properly.”

    Customer: “Well, you should at least make it play some decent music! You kids don’t know what good music is. I’m so sick of hearing this stupid modern teeny-bopper kid music in every damn shop. It just pisses me off. Guess what? Most of us aren’t that young, and we don’t want to listen to music only teenagers these days could enjoy! They stopped making good music before you were even born! You’ve probably never even heard good music!”

    Me: “I really am sorry, ma’am, and if it were a CD I would turn it off for you, but other customers are enjoying the game right now. I have to say, though, you look amazing! I never would have guessed you were old enough to consider Deep Purple music only for the younger generation.”

    Customer: *flustered* “Well! I didn’t mean the current song, obviously! The band that was playing before this song!”

    Me: “…Cream?”

    (The customer eventually left, muttering the whole way about about kids and teenagers. The three ‘kids’ playing the game while she was in-store? Grey-bearded gentlemen well over fifty.)

    Not As Easy As A-B-C

    | Anchorage, AK, USA | Musical Mayhem

    Customer: “Excuse me, I have a question about this tin radio.”

    Me: “Sure! What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “Well, it says it plays the ABC song, but it doesn’t.”

    Me: “Oh, you just have to turn this knob and it plays until it winds down.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but it doesn’t play the ABC Song! It plays Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!

    Me: “Well, they’re the same melody. See?” *sings the first line of both songs*

    Customer: “No, listen!”

    (She winds up the radio enough for it to play the whole song; there are a few embellishments towards the end.)

    Customer: “See?! That’s not how the ABC song goes!”

    Customer’s Husband: “Maybe they just play it differently.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s not the way I sing it!”

    Right State, Wrong Situation

    | USA | Musical Mayhem

    (I volunteer at a theater where a lot of Broadway national tours come through. The show “Jersey Boys” is at the theater for a few weeks. Also, there is a symphony going on at the other theater in the building. I’m taking tickets for Jersey Boys when an elderly patron approaches me.)

    Me: “Are you here for the symphony or the musical?”

    Patron: “Yeah, uh, Jersey Shore?”

    Me: “Do you mean Jersey Boys?”

    Patron: “Yeah, that one.”

    Supermarket, The Musical

    | Gainesville, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Musical Mayhem

    (It has been a quiet morning but the store has been filling up and it is very loud. My ears haven’t quite adjusted yet.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    (I begin scanning and bagging her items.)

    Customer: *mumbling*

    Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

    (The customer mumbles, and then begins singing something unintelligible. We play music in the store, so I thought she was singing along.)

    Customer: *gradually increasing in volume* “No bag…no bag…NO bag…NO BAG!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, are you singing, ‘No bag’?”

    Customer: “Well, I told you a couple of times, but you went ahead and started bagging, so I decided to sing it!”

    Page 14/18First...1213141516...Last