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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

    Gamers Have To Band Together

    | NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (A demo for Rock Band has been set up at the electronics store I work at. I hang around the game section to answer questions and help out. I see two kids, about 8 or 9, who are playing the guitars on easy, while a very pregnant lady is playing drums. I assume they’re all together until another woman storms up.)

    Woman: *to the boys* “I told you not to play these games! They’re bad for you!” *turns to the pregnant lady* “You’re setting a bad example! Don’t you know how horrible video games are for kids?! Your poor child!”

    Pregnant Lady: *smiling, but not stopping* “Actually, music proficiency is linked to having advantages in math and study skills and video games, and when used correctly can instill time management and problem solving skills.” *does a difficult drum riff* “If my ‘poor child’ does half as well as his gamer parents, he’ll have at least two degrees, and a successful medical career.”

    (The pregnant lady finishes the song, scores 90% on expert, and gets up. She smiles and leaves the demo. I held up my fist on the way out and she fist-bumped me. The other woman couldn’t pull her two kids away fast enough.)

    Out Of Print, Out Of Mind

    | Cambridge, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    (It is 1992. I am working cash register.)

    Customer: “Can you guys order a disc if I don’t see it out here?”

    Me: “Sure, I can make you a special order.”

    Customer: “Great, what do I do?”

    (We go through a form with the customer’s name, phone number, the band name and the album name.)

    Customer: “They’re called Split Enz, and the album is See You Around.”

    Me: “Oh, cool, I’ve heard of that band, but not that album. One minute…”

    (I look up the album in our distributor’s catalog.)

    Me: “Hmm, they don’t list that album here.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “So, I can’t place the order without the distributor’s catalog number. Hang on a second.”

    (I phone the distributor and find out that the album is out of print.)

    Me: “They say it’s actually called See Ya Round, but I’m sorry, I can’t order this for you. The album is out of print.”

    Customer: “Of course it is! That’s why I need you to order it for me!”

    Me: “If there aren’t any copies out in the bins, I can’t order you something that’s not being made anymore.”

    Customer: “No, it’s out of print! Order me a new one!”

    Me: “Sorry, it doesn’t actually work that way. If it’s out of print, the record company isn’t making it anymore. They aren’t sending us any more copies. It’s out of print.”

    Customer: “Yes, I know it’s out of print. That’s why I have to order it, duh! Why can’t you get it?”

    Me: “Because it’s out of print?”

    Customer: “I just said that! Order one!”

    Me: “Um, have you tried any of the used record stores in town?”

    Customer: “Jeez! If it’s out of print, why can’t you just order me one?!” *storms out*

    When Your Day Hits A High Note

    | Canada | Awesome Customers, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I have just calmly resolved the issue with an order.)

    Caller: “Can I sing for you?”

    Me: *not knowing what to expect* “Sure, why not?”

    (Surprisingly, the caller proceeded to sing the most beautiful rendition of ‘Smile’ by Nat King Cole. It was so beautiful, I even asked a coworker to come over and listen with me. When the customer was done crooning, I had goosebumps. This definitely made my week and made me SMILE!)

    A Cold Replay Post Coldplay

    | TX, USA | Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque

    (We’re at a party during a large music festival. Drinks are free, and there are a number of other activities at the event. We’re standing in line for the video photo booth. The employee operating the booth overhears our conversation.)

    Me: “I pity whoever has to review all of these drunken videos.”

    Employee: “That would be me.”

    Me: “Oh… they make you look through every one of them?”

    Employee: “Yeah, I’ve seen so many bare breasts.”

    Me: “They flash the camera? Don’t they have to sign away their rights to the footage?”

    Employee: “Yeah, but here’s the thing you have to know about drunk girls at a music festival: They aren’t very smart.”

    Either Way, Their Works Are Ear-Splitting

    | OH, USA | Musical Mayhem

    (I am working the till when a teenage male customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any albums by Vincent Van Gogh?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Vincent Van Gogh.”

    Me: “Umm, you do know this is a music store, right?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Do you have anything by Vincent Van Gogh or not?”

    Me: “No. Vincent Van Gogh was a painter, not a musician.”

    Customer: “What?! But didn’t he do that song, Starry Night?”

    Me: “Sir, Starry Night is the name of one of Van Gogh’s paintings.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Ah, geez. I asked my girlfriend who her favorite artist was. She must’ve misunderstood the question. Hang on, let me go talk to her.”

    (He leaves. A few minutes later, he comes back.)

    Customer: “Sorry about that. Do you have anything by Michael Bolton?”

    Me: “Yes we do. Would you like me to show you?”

    Customer:“Yes! Thank God, I thought he’d be another painter!”

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