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    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

    Disco Stu Gets Our Approval

    | USA | Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I’m standing next to a music demo display and talking to a coworker. A family walks by with their two little girls in tow. The parents are bickering and are too busy to notice what their girls are doing.)

    Coworker: *to me* “So, after you get done here go ahead and start binning, start with 46 and then—”

    (Suddenly, one of the little girls presses a button on the music demo display, effectively interrupting us with loud music.)

    Coworker: *doesn’t miss a beat and breaks into wild disco moves*

    (The girl and her sister stare with huge grins on their faces. The parents are too busy bickering to notice. When the music stops, my coworker resumes talking to me as if nothing has happened.)

    Coworker: “—and after 46, help with the top of the steel…”

    (I gained a lot of respect for my coworker that night!)

    Related:
    Disco Stu Does Not Approve

    Musicery Loves Company

    | Bethany Beach, DE, USA | Musical Mayhem

    (I’m 17, and am working in a toy shop on the boardwalk. We play tropical and beach-themed music on speakers in the store promoting CDs we sell. This happens after I have already been working six hours listening to the same CD on repeat.)

    Customer #1: “Oh cool! Are those steel drums in the song?”

    Me: “Yes, they are. I like them too.”

    Customer #1: “Do you sell this CD, or are you just playing it?”

    Me: “We actually do sell it, as well as a few others. They’re on the counter next to the cash register if you’re interested.”

    Customer #1: “Thanks!”

    (The customer goes over to browse. In a few minutes, a sudden thunderstorm breaks, and the rain is so hard that none of the customers will leave the shop. Everyone, including the customer, has huddled near the door to watch the storm.)

    Customer #1: “Geez, when do you think this rain is going to stop?”

    Me: “I don’t know. These storms happen sometimes near the ocean, but they usually pass pretty quickly.”

    (Two minutes pass in relative silence. The music is still playing.)

    Customer #1: “Does this music play everyday?”

    Me: “Yes, usually, unless another CD is used.”

    Customer #1: “All day?”

    Me: “Yep, it’s been playing since I came in this morning.”

    Customer #1: *without warning* “IF THIS MUSIC DOES NOT STOP PLAYING, I WILL KILL MYSELF!!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer #1: “AAARGH!”

    (Customer #1 runs out of the shop and down the boardwalk in the torrential rain, while the remaining customers and I stare at him.)

    Customer #2: “I bet you feel like that about the music too.”

    Me: *sighs* “Yep, pretty much…”

    The Stairway To Heaven Is To The Left

    | Springfield, MO, USA | Musical Mayhem

    (This occurs when I have just gotten off of work. I have my hair down, and I am waiting on my fiancé to come pick me up. I’m an almost 29-year-old female with a passionate love for music. I listen to a bit of everything. Today, I happen to be singing to Kashmir by Led Zeppelin.)

    Older Customer: “STOP SINGING THAT!”

    Me: “Sir?”

    Older Customer: “You are singing Led Zeppelin. You are too young to listen to that. It makes me SICK!”

    Me: “Watch me.”

    (I put in my ear buds, crank the volume up and continue singing along.)

    Older Customer: “Young people trying to live in OUR ERA!” *stomps off*

    Mentally Unplugged

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Musical Mayhem

    Me: “Hi, [music store], this is [my name]. How may I direct your call?”

    Customer: “Where the h*** do I plug this guitar in?”

    Me: “Oh, you have an electric guitar there? And an amplifier?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I just bought this beginner’s all-in-one package from you guys, and when I opened the box, there’s a cord missing.”

    Me: “Um, if you bought the ‘Strat Pack’, it should come with a six foot black cable in a plastic bag.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I have that. But where do I plug it in?”

    Me: “Just plug one end into the guitar near the bottom, and the other end into the amp where it says ‘input’.”

    Customer: “No, I got that already. Where do I plug it in?”

    Me: “Um…you already have it connected to the amp?”

    Customer: “Yeah, now how do I plug it in? There’s no cord!”

    Me: *confused* “Um, I don’t think I understand how you can plug in the guitar and not have it plugged in.”

    Customer: “It’s plugged in to the amp already! The amp is plugged in to the wall! How do I plug the GUITAR in to the WALL? It’s an ELECTRIC guitar, right?”

    Me: “Ohhh! If you already have it plugged in from the guitar to the amp, then it should work already. Did you try turning on the amp and strumming the guitar yet?”

    Customer: “That’s not how it works, is it?!”

    (I hear fumbling noises in background, followed by a very loud “TWANG!”)

    Customer: “Well, how the h*** did that happen?”

    Me: “Got it okay now?”

    Customer: *slams phone down with a BANG*

    Help Is On The Way

    | Oregon, USA | Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I’ve just gotten off work and am waiting behind the building for my friend to come pick me up. I’m listening to music but forgot my headphones, so it’s playing through the speaker. Two teenage girls, one wearing a Twilight shirt and another a Justin Bieber Shirt walk past me chatting. Accompanying them is who I assume is their younger brother, who is obviously not liking the conversation. He can’t be more than ten years old.)

    Teenager #1: *whispers to her friend about my music* “What awful tastes.”

    Teenager #2: *nods in agreement* “Freaks, I tell you.”

    (Instead of agreeing with the girls, the little kid stops and talks to me.)

    Little Kid: *to me* “What’s that?”

    Me: “Rise Against. They’re an awesome punk band.”

    Little Kid: “Thanks!” *catches up to the two teens with a smile*

    (I feel as though I did some good today.)


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