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    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

    A Sound Driver Is Music To My Ears

    | Portland, OR, USA | Awesome Workers, Musical Mayhem, Top, Transportation

    (I am a passenger on the train heading home from a long day at school, keeping to myself as it is nearly midnight. A teenager is listening to very obnoxiously loud music. We come to our first stop.)

    Driver: *comes back to where the teenager is sitting* “Would you mind turning down your music? You’re disturbing everyone.”

    (The teenager laughs and ignores him. The driver glares at him, the teenager only turns it down until the train leaves again. We come to our second stop.)

    Driver: *comes back to the teenager* “Turn down your music. You’re disturbing everyone.”

    Teenager: “No, I’m not! Everyone likes music!”

    (The driver looks around to everyone on the train.)

    Driver: “Hands up everyone who wants to listen to this jacka**’s music.”

    (Silence.)

    Driver: “Hands up everyone who wants the jacka** to turn off his music so they can get home in peace.”

    (All hands go up.)

    Driver: “If I come back again, you’re off the train.”

    Teenager: *glares at everyone around the train and gets off on the next stop*

    Should Have Kept A Record Of The Record

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (I am working in the music section of a department store.)

    Customer: “I’m looking for a song, but I don’t know who it’s by.”

    Me: “That’s okay. Do you remember how it goes or any of the lyrics?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Was it a male or female singer?”

    Customer: “I don’t remember.”

    Me: “What type of music was it? Fast, slow, rock, etc?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure.”

    Me: “Do you remember anything about the song?”

    Customer: “I think it had an ‘A’ somewhere in it.”

    Rock Band Makes Real Musicians Fret

    | Puyallup, WA, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

    (I’m working a game booth at a fair. The prize for the day is electric guitars, sans cables and amp.)

    Young Boy: *comes up to the booth and looks at the prizes* “So, what are these for?”

    Me: “What?”

    Young Boy: “The guitars. Are they for a game or something?”

    Me: “Oh! No, they’re just regular guitars.”

    Young Boy: “Oh…” *walks away*

    Gamers Have To Band Together

    | NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (A demo for Rock Band has been set up at the electronics store I work at. I hang around the game section to answer questions and help out. I see two kids, about 8 or 9, who are playing the guitars on easy, while a very pregnant lady is playing drums. I assume they’re all together until another woman storms up.)

    Woman: *to the boys* “I told you not to play these games! They’re bad for you!” *turns to the pregnant lady* “You’re setting a bad example! Don’t you know how horrible video games are for kids?! Your poor child!”

    Pregnant Lady: *smiling, but not stopping* “Actually, music proficiency is linked to having advantages in math and study skills and video games, and when used correctly can instill time management and problem solving skills.” *does a difficult drum riff* “If my ‘poor child’ does half as well as his gamer parents, he’ll have at least two degrees, and a successful medical career.”

    (The pregnant lady finishes the song, scores 90% on expert, and gets up. She smiles and leaves the demo. I held up my fist on the way out and she fist-bumped me. The other woman couldn’t pull her two kids away fast enough.)

    Out Of Print, Out Of Mind

    | Cambridge, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    (It is 1992. I am working cash register.)

    Customer: “Can you guys order a disc if I don’t see it out here?”

    Me: “Sure, I can make you a special order.”

    Customer: “Great, what do I do?”

    (We go through a form with the customer’s name, phone number, the band name and the album name.)

    Customer: “They’re called Split Enz, and the album is See You Around.”

    Me: “Oh, cool, I’ve heard of that band, but not that album. One minute…”

    (I look up the album in our distributor’s catalog.)

    Me: “Hmm, they don’t list that album here.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “So, I can’t place the order without the distributor’s catalog number. Hang on a second.”

    (I phone the distributor and find out that the album is out of print.)

    Me: “They say it’s actually called See Ya Round, but I’m sorry, I can’t order this for you. The album is out of print.”

    Customer: “Of course it is! That’s why I need you to order it for me!”

    Me: “If there aren’t any copies out in the bins, I can’t order you something that’s not being made anymore.”

    Customer: “No, it’s out of print! Order me a new one!”

    Me: “Sorry, it doesn’t actually work that way. If it’s out of print, the record company isn’t making it anymore. They aren’t sending us any more copies. It’s out of print.”

    Customer: “Yes, I know it’s out of print. That’s why I have to order it, duh! Why can’t you get it?”

    Me: “Because it’s out of print?”

    Customer: “I just said that! Order one!”

    Me: “Um, have you tried any of the used record stores in town?”

    Customer: “Jeez! If it’s out of print, why can’t you just order me one?!” *storms out*

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