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  • Thou Shalt Not Pick And Choose
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  • January Theme Of The Month: Prank Calls!
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    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Music Stores, Concerts, Orchestra’s, none are safe from the stupidity of our very wrong customers, examples such as those searching for live recordings of Beethoven himself, to others who believe listening to Taylor Swift means you’re musically talented.

    Bring You Bach To The Future

    , | MN, USA | History, Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

    Caller: *has a strange, whistly and whiny voice* ” Hi, I’d like some organ music by Bach, played by Bach.”

    Me: “Well, we have a lot of recordings of Bach’s organ music but we don’t have any of him performing it.”

    Caller: “Well, why not?”

    Me: “Recording technology hadn’t been invented when Bach was alive.                 ”

    Caller: “Well, why not?”

    Me: “Well, in the late 1800′s, Thomas Edison invented—”

    Caller: “[My Name], it’s [Coworker].”

    (One of my coworkers had played the perfect music nerd prank on me!)

    Pretend You Weren’t Listening

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (I work in an electronics store and we sell speakers and sound bars for TVs. We sometimes sell our display units if we are out of stock. One of my coworkers has been talking to a customer about one for ages, but since he is about to leave, he says the customer is happy with it and asks me to pack it up for him. The customer has been watching me struggle with the packaging for about five minutes.)

    Customer: “Thanks for packing that up for me; that looked like it was a hard one to do.”

    (I’m currently putting tape over the box, sealing it in there.)

    Me: “Yeah, it was. You get used to doing it while working, but sometimes it’s particularly difficult. I’m glad I FINALLY got it in though; sorry for taking so long.”

    Customer: “That’s fine. Can I have a listen to it now?”

    Me: “…”

    Music Went From Lucky To Sucky

    | GA, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem, Tourists/Travel

    (I DJ at a theme park that has a built in water park. I am happily jamming to ‘Get Lucky’ by Daft Punk by the wave pool when a guest approaches my DJ booth.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, ma’am, who makes the play list for the water park?”

    Me: “I do, sir, but all the songs on my laptop have been pre-approved by upper management.”

    Guest: “Well I have my eight-year-old with me, and she is asking what ‘get lucky’ means. What do you expect me to tell her?!”

    Me: “I’m not sure, sir. I am very sorry my music selection has offended you. I didn’t mean any harm.”

    Guest: *harumph* “I am taking this to upper management!”

    (The man proceeds to tell my supervisor, who talks him out of taking his complaint any further by promising the song will be deleted and no longer played.)

    Supervisor: *to me* “Meh, I like that song. If he was smart he would have just told his kid the song meant winning the lottery or something.”

    (The rest of the time that particular guest was there, I played super safe things like The Beach Boys. But after that day, I have continued to play that song regularly.)

    Doesn’t Always Take Practise, Practise, Practise…

    | NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem, Tourists/Travel

    (My grandfather and I are taking a tour of a world-famous opera house many years ago when this happens:)

    Tour Guide: “And now, we are in the stage area, where—”

    Grandfather: *singing* “La la la la la!”

    Tour Guide: “What was that, sir?”

    Grandfather: “Now I can say I sang on stage at [Famous Opera House]!”

    The Big Bang Was Not A One-Time Event

    | Lawton, OK, USA | Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (At the store a customer left their phone behind. Per store policy, we can hold the phone for the customer, but we can’t answer it if it rings, in case the customer then tries to claim that we either broke or tampered with it.)

    Coworker: “You look stressed.”

    Me: “I am!”

    Coworker: “Why?”

    Me: “Because the phone has the ENTIRE theme to The Big Bang Theory as the ringtone. And it won’t… stop… ringing…”

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