October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Movies & TV

Acting Completely Out Of Line

| San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV

(I am the cinema manager for a nonprofit theatre. We are tiny (less than 50 seats), and we usually allow guests to congregate in the lounge. However, we have just opened a controversial film that was pulled due to threats right before its release, so we are handling massive demand on the opening weekend. I’m working at the front desk when this happens, about 30 minutes before show-time, and about five to eight minutes before opening the theatre for seating. A customer comes to the desk.)

Customer #1: “Can we go in now?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. The previous show is still running. We’ll open up the auditorium about 20 to 25 minutes before show-time. In the meantime, you can join the ticket holders line.”

(I gesture outside; it’s winter in south California and a sunny 65 degrees.)

Customer #1: *looking around* “Where is the line?”

Me: “Right outside.”

(I gesture again; our lobby windows are glass, and you can clearly see the line stretching along the sidewalk.)

Customer #1: “It’s outside? I’m not going to wait outside.”

Me: “Well, you are free to wait in the lounge, but we will be seating from the line. If you’d like to wait inside, you can join the end of the line as it goes in.”

Customer #1: “So if I wait inside I’ll lose my place in line? That’s unacceptable. I’m waiting right here.”

Me: “Ma’am, you are free to wait inside, but the line will seat first. We’ve had other guests waiting there for an hour or more.”

(The customer’s husband walks up and offers to wait in the line for them, but she cuts him off.)

Customer #1: “This is ridiculous! It’s the middle of winter! It’s too cold to wait outside!”

Me: “I understand your frustration, and we would absolutely accommodate our patrons in case of severe weather. However, again, many guests have stood outside for a very long time, and it wouldn’t be fair to allow you to skip the line. It looks like we’ll be ready for seating in a few minutes. You won’t be outside long at all.”

Customer #1: “Well, I’m going to wait right here, and I’m going in first.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if you wait inside, you won’t be allowed into the theatre until we have let the guests in line enter. Again, it’s only a few minutes.”

Customer #1: “You should move the line inside! You know what? I’m going to move the line inside.”

(I watch, stunned, as she steps outside and makes an announcement. The line starts moving through the door. I jump up.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, everyone, but we aren’t quite ready to seat yet. It should be less than five minutes.”

Customer #2: “But SHE told us to move inside!”

Me: “I apologize, but she doesn’t work here. If you guys will be patient for a few more minutes, we are almost ready to seat. It should be less than five minutes. Thanks for your patience.”

(I gave a brief summary to those patient guests waiting for an hour at the front of the line that had come in at her urging, and I guess that it spread, because there were quite a few guests offering sympathies from at least the first part of the queue.)

The Paint Is In Aisle Five; Prepare To Die

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(My 20-year-old son goes to a craft store with me. He has long hair, pulled back in a ponytail, slightly ratty jeans, and an oversized t-shirt with a small name-tag which says ‘hello my name is Inigo Montoya.’)

Random Customer: *approaches my son* “Where are the buttons?”

(My son turns at looks at me, with a ‘help me’ expression. I walk over.)

Me: “The buttons are over that way.”

(My son and I look at each other and laugh. We then go to a second craft store.)

Other Random Customer: *approaches my son* “Where is the paint?”

(Again I was able to point the woman in the right direction. My son vowed never again to shop while wearing that shirt.)

Rated Immature

| NY, USA | Movies & TV, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(The video store I work at has a ‘back room’ installed and most people call to double check that, yes, we do rent adult videos.)

Caller: “Hey, I’ve got a list of titles and I wanted to know if you have them for rent.”

Me: “Sure, go ahead.”

Caller: “All right. Deep Throat?” *background giggling*

Me: *checks* “Nope, we don’t carry that one.”

Caller: “Darn, my niece will be so disappointed.” *more giggling*

(I’m not fazed by this stuff by this point, so I keep going since it isn’t busy.)

Me: “Any others?”

Caller: “Ha ha, yeah… Debbie Does Dallas?”

Me: *checks* “Well the first one is rented out, but the second and fifth ones are in stock.”

Caller: “Wait, really?”

Me: *confused* “Yeah, really.”

Caller: “You guys ACTUALLY rent porn?”

Me: “Yeah… We have a whole section in the back of the store.”

Caller: “Wow, REALLY? All right, I’ll be in later then. Wait, wait… Do you have newer stuff?”

Me: “Yeah, the older titles are mostly just the really famous ones.”

Caller: “Awesome. That call went a lot better than I thought it would.”

(He turned out to be a repeat customer.)

The Luxury Of Name-Dropping

| Birmingham, MI, USA | Funny Names, Movies & TV

(I am the manager at a local palladium. There are 12 theatres. Two of them are bigger and the chairs are more comfy so there is an extra $1 fee per ticket for them. It says outside and inside the palladium when the movie times are for the luxury theatres.)

Customer: “Five tickets for [luxury show].”

Me: “Okay your total will be $40.”

Customer: “Wait I thought it was just $35.”

Me: Well, normally it would be, but that movie is playing in the luxury theatres so it is an extra dollar fee per ticket.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not paying for that! That is outrageous! I don’t care where I sit but I’m not paying the extra money! You’re trying to rip me off, aren’t you! I know your manager and I want to see him right now!”

Me: “Sir, I am sorry to inform you but that would be me and I do not recognize you.”

Customer: “You should do! We had a long conversation and everything!”

(I flip my nametag around and say:)

Me: “Sir, if you can tell me my name, I will wave the extra fee for you, and please do it fast because you are holding up the line.”

Customer: *pauses* “I’ll just pay the extra money…”

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice time.”

Not A Regular Response

| TX, USA | Health & Body, Movies & TV

(I’m at the ticket booth ordering my ticket for the movie. I happen to be 57 years old.)

Me: “One for [Movie], please.”

Ticketer: “Senior or regular?”

Me: “Uh, ummm… uh… regular.”

Ticketer: “Seven dollars, please.”

Me: “You know, when you ask a senior if he’s regular that has a different meaning. I may be a senior but I’m regular.”

Ticketer: *smiles*

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