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    Category: Movies & TV

    The Nation’s Reading Is A Blockbuster Problem

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working the register at our store and getting ready to ring up a customer’s rentals. When I pull up her account I notice she has some late fees from her previous rentals.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. It looks like you have a balance of $8.54 from your previous rentals that we need to take care of.”

    Customer: “That’s not possible. I brought ALL of my movies back on time!”

    Me: “All right. Give me a moment to look at you account history to see what happened.”

    (This takes just a couple of seconds, but the customer has already started to complain about me wasting her time.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. I’ve found the problem. You checked out three movies that had a five-day term, and two new releases that were one-day rentals. You kept the one-day rentals out an extra day which is where the late fee came from.”

    Customer: “Well, somebody should have explained that to me when I rented them! How was I supposed to know they were one-day rentals?!”

    Me: “While I concede that it is possible that one our staff forgot to mention it to you, ma’am, the rental terms are clearly marked on the price sticker on the movie, on the receipt, and on signs everywhere throughout the store.”

    Customer: “You actually expect your customers to read!? No wonder you’ve had to close so many stores!”

    Yaoi Got To Be Kidding, Part 2

    | Rapid City, SD, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem

    (I work at the local bookstore. I am trying to grow our small graphic novel and manga section so that it is worthwhile. A customer and his mom have stopped in to look around. He is about 16 years old.

    Customer: “Mom, can I please get a new comic book?”

    Customer’s Mom: “I don’t know. You just got one.”

    (The mom looks over at me working at the register.)

    Customer’s Mom: “Here’s the deal. Play your ringtone to her. If she can name the song or at least where it comes from, I will buy you a new comic book.”

    (The customer’s son looks at his phone shyly as he looks for his ringtone. The music starts to play the theme song to ‘Robot Chicken.’)

    Me: “Oh my god! That’s Robot Chicken!”

    (I proceed to bock like a chicken with it. The customer’s mom looks at me incredulously and shakes her head.)

    Customer’s Mom: “I made a deal.”

    (They bought the comic book and are leaving. The mom is moaning loudly to her son.)

    Customer’s Mom: “I can’t believe that the one person I point out knows exactly what it is! You’re everywhere! She doesn’t even look like she likes that kind of stuff!”

    Related:
    Yaoi Got To Be Kidding

    Post Credit Marvels

    | Rochester, NY, USA | Movies & TV

    (The credits are rolling after “Thor: The Dark World.” One post-credits scene has already played, but there has been word that there is another. Half of the theater seems to be unaware and begins filing out. The patron in front of me begins to shout.)

    Patron: “There’s one more!”

    (People continue filing out.)

    Patron’s Friend: “That was my ear!”

    Patron: “Well, get your ear out of the way! Really, there’s one more!”

    (Those who have decided to leave continue to do so.)

    Patron: “Seriously, I’m not Loki! There’s ONE MORE!”

    (People are still leaving.)

    Patron: “ENJOY IT ON YOUTUBE!”

    (Sure enough, there is one more cut scene after the credits. Sir, thank you for your valiant efforts to warn the masses!)

    Old TV’s Are Going Down The Tubes

    | Belgrade, Serbia | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Technology

    (My cable company has been offering to replace outdated external tuners, free of charge, for our customers who possess a newer generation of TVs. Not everyone does, however. They usually get mad because their TVs are not up to standards. This customer has an antiquated CRT TV.)

    Me: “Ma’am, your TV does not support this new technology. I’m sorry.”

    (I bring up my tablet and flag her as ‘incapable of supporting.’)

    Customer: “But you didn’t even look behind the TV. How can you know right from the door?”

    Me: “Because TVs with cathode ray tubes do not have the tuner and the access port I need to insert this module.”

    Customer: “But the TV is new. I bought it six months ago. Your message said that TVs bought three years ago or sooner have this.”

    Me: “No, ma’am. It says models no older than three years. It also says that those TVs have to be LCD, plasma or LED. Not CRT. This TV just does not have the hardware.”

    Customer: “Well, you’re a rude young man. I bet that you are just lazy. You want to finish work sooner, and go home and play those horrible video games.”

    (Losing patience, I show her how the module looks.)

    Me: “If I could replace your external tuner with this, I would.”

    (The customer snatches the module out from my hand and goes to the TV.)

    Customer: “I will show you that you can. You’ll see, you rude boy.”

    (She proceeds to try to shove the CA Module into every single hole in her TV casing that it has. She screams in triumph and looks at me.)

    Customer: “There! See, it fits.”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s a cooling hole…”

    Check The Holodeck

    | Huntsville, AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Technology

    (I work at a call center for a satellite TV company.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m not getting any picture on my TV.”

    Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience. I would be happy to try to help you resolve this.”

    (After going through some basic troubleshooting for several minutes, I’m finally able to determine that her satellite box isn’t connected to her television.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you’ll need to connect your box to your TV in order to see a picture.”

    Customer: “You’re lying! I’ve had your service for years. I’ve never had to hook up my TV!”

    (This customer had actually only just signed up for service a few days earlier.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid this company’s equipment has always needed to be connected to a television in order to display a picture.”

    Customer: “But I thought the box could make a picture above it – like a hologram or something.”

    Me: “Ma’am, if our equipment could do that, we would be charging you a lot more for your programming…”

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