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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Movies & TV

    Playing (Hunger) Games With Your Orders

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (I work at a coffee shop on my university campus. This happens way more often than it should, especially if my friends drop by when I’m working:)

    Me: “All right, one regular soy mocha latte. Can I get a name for the order?”

    Customer: “Primrose Everdeen.”

    (A few minutes later:)

    Coworker: “Okay, regular soy mocha latte for…” *he reads the name on the cup* “…aww, Christ. Primrose Everdeen?

    Customer’s Friend: *at the top of her lungs* “I VOLUNTEER!”

    Coworker: “You guys realise that stopped being funny last year, right?”

    A Colorful Outburst

    | Newport, KY, USA | Bigotry, Movies & TV

    (At the box office, cashiers are required to repeat the name of the movie to the customer. This policy is now defunct because of the following exchange:)

    Customer: “I want two for For Colored Girls.”

    Me: *ringing it in* “All right, that’s two for For Colored Girls.”

    (The customer then exploded into a twenty-minute tirade about how I, a white man, used the word ‘colored’ in front of her.)

    Rated ‘R You Serious?’

    | Ashland, KY, USA | Movies & TV, Underaged

    Customer: “I want two tickets to [Movie].”

    Me: “The movie is rated R. May I ask how old you are?”

    Customer: “17.”

    Me: “May I see your ID, please?”

    Customer: “Sure!”

    (I was happy to get someone not fighting me for once, but then…)

    Me: “Umm… no offense but your ID says you’re 15.”

    Customer: “Oh, they just printed it wrong.”

    Me: “I am sorry but I have to go by the year on the ID and according to this you are 14.”

    Customer: “Just sell me the ticket.”

    Me: “I am sorry; I can’t. You can pick out another—”

    (The customer huffs off. Five minutes later:)

    Customer #2: “I need THREE tickets for [R-rated Movie].”

    (The customer is slightly older but I see the first person over behind a pole and peeking around.)

    Me: “The move is rated R. May I ask how old everyone is?”

    Customer #2: “Well I am 19 and she is 18. And I am not sure how old the other person is.”

    Me: “May see all the IDs, please?”

    (The customer gives me both his and other girl’s ID and they are the right age.)

    Me: “May I see the last ID?”

    Customer #2: “He didn’t give it to me, but he is right behind that pole. Let me get him really quick.”

    (Customer #2 then tries to go over to Customer #1, who promptly runs off.)

    Customer #2: “Weird… He gave the money and everything.”

    Customer Service To Swear By

    | Bay Area, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Movies & TV

    (My husband and I work at the same small store. This day he is helping a woman and her five- or six-year-old son while I am wiping down a counter nearby.)

    Son: “[Name] watches adult movies.”

    Husband: “Oh?!”

    Customer: *quickly* “He means his cousin watches movies rated PG-13 or R.”

    Husband: *laughs*

    Son: “They have bad words in them.”

    Husband: “Yeah, I don’t like bad words. They hurt my head and my heart, and make angels cry!”

    (I had to bite the inside of my lip, and had to avoid looking at my husband to keep from laughing. My husband is a former member of the Navy, and still swears like a sailor!)

    The Day Just Got A Whole Lot More Crappy

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (A very popular family film has just opened, and a lot of parents are bringing in young children and babies. It’s causing a lot of problems, as the parents and children are leaving enormous messes in the theaters, including popcorn all over the floors, spilled drinks everywhere and even dirty diapers on the seats, which means the entire surrounding area must be sanitized for health reasons. As a result, most theaters aren’t clean enough to let other customers in until less than five minutes before the next scheduled show time. I’m working as an usher, tearing tickets and letting people into the theaters. I’m still waiting on the theater showing the family film to be clean enough to let people in. A huge family with about six young children, including a baby, is among the group waiting to be let in. Finally, I’m given the go-ahead to let people in. The father of the family confronts me as I tear his ticket.)

    Father: “That took too long! I’m half-tempted to demand a refund!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there have been a lot of young families leaving messes that need to be cleaned up. They just had to thoroughly sanitize half the theater, because several people left dirty diapers sitting on the seats.”

    Father: “Wait… so you’ll clean up if I leave my son’s diaper in the theater?”

    Me: *furious but trying to retain composure* “Please… don’t. I swear to god, don’t do it.”

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