Twilight vs. Harry Potter Fans! In the battle between Team Edward and Team Harry, which fans are more devoted? Find out in this week’s roundup!

1. Some Callers Are Proper Dementor (7,172 thumbs up)
   A Harry Potter fan meets the real life Viktor Krumm!
2. You’d Bella Believe It (4,167 thumbs up)
   The only ABCs this customer knows are Alice, Bella, and Carlisle.
3. Totally, Like, Aguamenti (2,569 thumbs up)
   This totally wet reader’s Harry Potter books could use an Impervius Charm!
4. Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 8 (827 thumbs up)
   You know you’re a devoted Twilight fan when when you name your children Edward and Bella.
5. The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3 (5,329 thumbs up)
   A pair of Twilight-hating prankster teens inadvertently scores one for Team Harry!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

(I’m working the box office on a particularly slow night. Part of my duty is to answer the phone and deal with customer inquiries. We are a theater that shows rather alternative movies.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [theater].”

Customer: “Oh, what a lovely young voice. Tell me, what is [movie] about?”

Me: “It’s about a victim of pedophilia and how she exacts revenge on her abuser. The next showing is at–”

Customer: “That’s nice. You have such a beautiful voice.”

Me: “Um, thanks.”

Customer: “Tell me. Do you like cats? I love cats. I have several. I just moved here and I can’t find any good vets.”

Me: “Yes. I like them.”

Customer: “We sound perfect for each other. I’ll see you tonight when I buy tickets from you…in person. You’ll recognize my voice. I’ll also be covered in cat fur. Good night!” *hangs up*

(I work ticketing at a movie theater. A middle-aged woman and her daughter approach me.)

Customer: “We’d like two tickets to…what are we going to see?”

Daughter: “It’s Breaking Dawn.”

Customer: “I’ve been calling it Sexy Vampires all day.”

Related:
Team Cougar

(I am working box office when a father and his 13 year old son come up to my window. We are located in the same mall area as our competitors.)

Me: “Welcome to [theater], sir. How can I help you today?”

(The father gets a huge grin on his face. He begins to scratch his head and make monkey noises.)

Me: *speechless*

Father: “The monkey movie!”

Son: “Dad, it’s Planet of the Apes!”

Me: *laughing* “Oh, you want [competition] down the street. We don’t have that here.

Father: “You mean I have to do my routine again?”

Son: *embarrassed* “No, dad!”

Father: “But I practiced it all the way down here!”

Son: *rolls eyes*

(I am cleaning the lobby in the theater when a female customer comes out of the restroom. She goes to use the drinking fountain. As with most businesses, the restrooms are located right next to the fountain.)

Customer: *aghast* “This is disgusting!”

Me: “Is there something wrong with the tap, ma’am? We do clean it often but I haven’t made it over there yet this round.”

Customer: “No, it is lovely. You do a fine job. It was just horrible!”

Me: “If there is nothing wrong, why was it horrible?”

Customer: “Because when I was drinking the water, I heard a toilet flush in the restroom and it made the water pressure go down!”

Me: “Well, yes. The plumbing is connected as they both draw from the–”

Customer: “That water that I was drinking? A minute later, if I hadn’t come along, it would have been used to flush someone’s waste? That is so disgusting! I can’t believe it!”

Me: “Well, would you rather the water pressure went up when you heard the flush?”

(The customer takes a step back and looks confused. Suddenly, the implication of my statement reaches her nearly hysterical mind and she flees the building with a look of horror on her face.)