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    Category: Movies & TV

    Channeling Through Some Good

    | USA | Money, Movies & TV

    (I work in a call center for paid TV service. They’ve recently lost a major broadcasting contract over the price for some VERY popular channels. Said channel viewers are known for being… let’s say fanatical.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Provider]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “What’s happened to [Channel]?”

    (I explain the expiring contract, reasons behind it, and how we are trying to resolve it. Then I brace for the outrage I am getting all too used to.)

    Customer: “Why they being so mean to you guys?”

    Me: *dumbstruck over this response* “I… uh. don’t know but I guess everyone wants more sometimes.”

    Customer: “They’re just being greedy! I’ll wait this out; don’t let them get what they want!”

    Me: “Uhh… well, I guess I’ll report that as feedback.”

    (This was hands down the most polite person on this issue I have talked to so far. This call single-handedly made every other call that day seem much better!)

    At Last You’ve Seen The Light

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem

    (I work in a pawn shop, and one day, a punk girl in her 20s with piercings and a mohawk comes in to the store with her boyfriend. On this day, I’ve chosen Disney’s Tangled to play on the display TVs.)

    Punk Girl: *sees what I have playing on the TVs* “Oh, my god, is that Tangled? I love this movie!”

    Me: “Would you like to buy a copy? Almost every time I play it in here, I sell at least one.”

    Punk Girl: *stops singing along for a moment* “No, thanks. I already own it. And the soundtrack.”

    (She walked away singing along and dancing, making my day. I took this as proof that things are sometimes the complete opposite of what they appear to be.)

    She Has A Dream Of Video Piracy

    | Knoxville, TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

    (I am working the phone at a well-known retail chain when what sounds like an elderly female customer calls.)

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [Store]. How may I direct your call?”

    Customer: “Hello, dear, I’m not sure who I need to talk to. I was hoping you might have that new Martin Luther King movie in.”

    (At this point, the customer starts rambling, which is a fairly regular occurrence. Thinking she’s asking about a documentary, I’m waiting for her to take a breather so that I can transfer to electronics so they can check for the film. Just as I get an opportunity, I register something she’s said.)

    Me: “Ma’am, did you just say that Oprah is in it?”

    Customer: “That’s right. Oprah Winfrey and Cuba Gooding, Jr. I’m not sure who else.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I just realized I know what movie you’re talking about; I saw the trailer a couple of days ago. I’m afraid it won’t be out in theaters until January.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know. It’s just that I don’t really like going to the theater. It’s so expensive and smells weird and people can be so rude. That’s why I was hoping to get the DVD.”

    Me: “Ah, sorry, ma’am, but the DVD version won’t be released until at least a few months after the movie opens in theaters, so I know for a fact that we don’t have that DVD in yet.”

    Customer: “Oh, really? That’s too bad… Do you think you might get it by Christmas?”

    Has You Running Around Like Busy Little Bees

    | London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

    (I work in a small independent arts cinema. The theatre is known locally for its wealthy and demanding senior clientele. A fashionable elderly customer, clutching a large expensive handbag, approaches me and a coworker at the box office.)

    Customer: “Are you brave?”

    Me: *smiling politely* “Umm, I guess so.”

    Customer: “Well, a large bee or hornet just fell from your ceiling into my handbag and I want somebody to fish it out.”

    Me: “Oh, okay. Are you sure it was a bee or hornet?”

    (This is early January in suburban London, in a building that in four years I’ve never seen any bee buzz about in… let alone a hornet!)

    Customer: *suddenly angry* “YES, I’M SURE! I don’t know what to do; can’t you reach in and get rid of it!”

    Me: “Sorry but I’m not going to reach into the bag Why don’t you tip the contents out carefully onto one of the seats behind you?”

    Customer: “Yes, you do that for me.”

    Me: “Well, I have no space behind the box office to do that and I wouldn’t want to be at fault if I damaged any of the contents when I shook the bag out. Sorry. Why don’t you try emptying the bag into one of the large popcorn boxes?”

    Customer: “Ugh, is that all you can offer me?! A popcorn box…? Well, you’ve been absolutely no help at all.”

    (She stomps away… and I go back to serving customers. 30 minutes later I go to check on the cafe within the cinema building and see the handbag wrapped in two layers of clear recycling bags just dumped in a corner. The cafe owner sees me staring at the bag dumbfounded.)

    Cafe Coworker: *laughing* “Some woman made me wrap her handbag up because she is terrified about the hornet that got stuck inside, so I’m suffocating it for her. Oh and she told me you and the box office staff were no help and she is going to complain tomorrow.”

    (She never did complain.)

    Life Is Stupider Than Fiction

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

    (In my time working at a movie theater, I’ve recognized one major, recurring issue for customers: theater satisfaction surveys. They are explicit and clear that the customers are supposed to be rating ONLY their experience with our theater and staff, our cleanliness, how courteous we were, etc. The forms clearly state that they are NOT for rating the movies customers saw. Yet, many customers are oblivious, and will give our theater and staff low ratings because they saw a film they didn’t end up liking. It’s a serious issue, as corporate assumes the low scores are due to staff and theater issues, and they will often cause employees to be denied raises, etc. They can even cause employees to be fired. One day, a customer has just approached me.)

    Me: “Hi! What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Can I get a customer satisfaction survey to take?”

    Me: “Sure thing! Was something wrong with the theater or our staff?”

    Customer: “No. The theater was lovely and the staff is great.”

    Me: “Fantastic. One second, and I’ll get you a survey!”

    (I hand him a satisfaction survey and a pen, and am shocked to see he is rating our staff, theater, cleanliness, etc. ‘Highly Unsatisfactory’ – the lowest rating.)

    Me: “Sir. Why are you giving us bad grades on the survey? You said everything was good.”

    Customer: “Oh. Everything was good. I just didn’t like the movie. It was confusing.”

    Me: “Sir, the surveys are not for the film itself. They’re for the theater and our staff.”

    Customer: “Oh, but I want the studios to know I didn’t like the movie.”

    Me: “That’s not how these surveys work. We don’t make the films; we just show them. The surveys are for customers to give feedback on how we performed. It’s a common mistake people make, but I’m going to strongly encourage you not to submit that survey.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Because corporate will take one look at a survey like that, and assume it was something wrong we did.”

    Customer: “But you guys were great.”

    Me: “I understand. But the forms clearly state that they are only for the theater and staff, not the movie. So, by filling out and signing it, you’re essentially telling our corporate HQ that we did a poor job. Sending that in could get people fired.”

    Customer: “…but how else can I let the studios know I didn’t like the film? I don’t want people to get fired, but I want the studio to know I didn’t like the movie.”

    Me: “Those forms don’t go to the studios. They go to our theater’s corporate HQ. As I said, we don’t make the movies. I could recommend you go to a movie website and write a negative review, instead of giving us poor ratings.”

    Customer: “I’ll just take my chances with this, thanks. I think the studios will get the idea.”

    Me: “Those forms don’t go to the studios, but I can’t stop you. I will just strongly advise you not to send it in.”

    (He did send it in. And people were ALMOST fired, as it wasn’t the first time someone was oblivious and sent in terrible grades for not liking the film. Corporate HAS to process the grades, whether or not you note that it was just the film you didn’t like. Thankfully, nobody lost their jobs, but it caused some issues with a few employees who were supposed to get raises in the near future. PLEASE READ THE FORMS, PEOPLE!)

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