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    Category: Movies & TV

    The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back, Part 2

    | St. Paul, MN, USA | Funny Names, Movies & TV

    (A middle-aged male customer comes from the hallway of theaters and walks up to the booth.)

    Customer: “Yeah, is there anyway I can get a refund for this movie? Sex In The City?”

    Me: “Yeah, sure. May I ask why you’d like a refund?”

    Customer: “It’s…not what I thought it was gonna be.”

    The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back

    Wrong Kind Of TV Package

    | California, USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

    (A fairly regular customer, known for asking lots of questions about merchandise he has no intent of buying, wanders in to the electronic department.)

    Customer: “What’s this?”

    Me: “It lets you browse the Internet on your TV instead of requiring a computer.”

    Customer: *excited* “Really? Wow!”

    Me: “Yep, and if you buy the optional keyboard, you can even use it for email.”

    Customer: “Email? I’ve heard a lot about that. What is it, exactly?”

    Me: “Well, it’s kind of like regular mail. You type up a letter and send it off,
    except it gets there instantly and there’s no postage.”

    Customer: “Really? Wow! Does it do packages?”

    Not Suitable For Those Who Can’t Count

    | Edmonton, AB, USA | Movies & TV

    (I work at a theater, and this shift I was in Box Office selling tickets. A customer approaches me who had just got out of a movie.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “I would like to lodge a complaint to your manager.”

    Me: “She isn’t actually working today, sorry, but if you tell me what you need to complain about, I can make sure it gets passed onto her right away.”

    Customer: “I just watched “The A-Team” and it wasn’t at all how I thought it would be. The green people were very blurry!”

    Me: “I’m sorry Sir, but there aren’t any green people in the movie “The A-Team”. Are you sure you went into the right auditorium?”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? There is only one auditorium in this place!”

    Me: “Actually sir, we have five auditoriums, and there are different movies playing in each of them.”

    Customer: “Well why didn’t you tell me that! And why was the movie blurry?!”

    Me: “Well sir, the only movie we have the green people in it is “Shrek”, and that movie is in 3D, so if you are not wearing the 3D glasses it would be very blurry.”

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t you give me that glasses?”

    Me: “You didn’t buy a ticket for that movie.”

    Customer: “Well if there is only one auditorium, when does my movie play?”

    Me: “Sir, your movie is over. You went into the wrong auditorium.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s all your fault!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but how is this my fault?”

    Customer: “You didn’t tell me that there is more than one auditorium!”

    Me: “When I sold you your ticket I told you were in auditorium 3.”

    Customer: “Oh, I just thought you were stupid. So, can I have a refund?”

    Another customer in line: “Get out of line, dumba**!”

    A Heated Topic, Part 2

    | Kinnelon, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (A woman and her two younger children go in to see a kid-friendly movie. Ten minutes later she comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but there is a preview on right now with a man on fire!”

    Me: “A man on fire? Okay, that shouldn’t be the right preview.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous. I have kids in there!”

    (I check the theater.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a preview for Fantastic Four. The man on fire is a super hero. His special ability is that he can turn into a fireball and fly around.”

    Customer: “I don’t care who it is, he shouldn’t be on fire!”

    A Heated Topic

    Orders With Benefits

    | Durham, NC, USA | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (There are two teenage males in line, one at the register being helped, and the other standing behind him. They seem to be friends, but are standing in line as though they are ordering separately. As there is only one register, I decide to get started on preparing the second guy’s order.)

    Me: “Hey, are you guys together or separate?”

    First guy: “Oh, we’re together. Oh wait!” *shocked look* “Did you mean like, ‘together together’, or if we’re just buying together?”

    Me: “I don’t follow.”

    Second Guy: “Are you asking if we’re dating?”

    Me: “Whichever one will make me make your food faster, I guess?”

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