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    Category: Movies & TV

    Not Suitable For Those Who Can’t Count

    | Edmonton, AB, USA | Movies & TV

    (I work at a theater, and this shift I was in Box Office selling tickets. A customer approaches me who had just got out of a movie.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “I would like to lodge a complaint to your manager.”

    Me: “She isn’t actually working today, sorry, but if you tell me what you need to complain about, I can make sure it gets passed onto her right away.”

    Customer: “I just watched “The A-Team” and it wasn’t at all how I thought it would be. The green people were very blurry!”

    Me: “I’m sorry Sir, but there aren’t any green people in the movie “The A-Team”. Are you sure you went into the right auditorium?”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? There is only one auditorium in this place!”

    Me: “Actually sir, we have five auditoriums, and there are different movies playing in each of them.”

    Customer: “Well why didn’t you tell me that! And why was the movie blurry?!”

    Me: “Well sir, the only movie we have the green people in it is “Shrek”, and that movie is in 3D, so if you are not wearing the 3D glasses it would be very blurry.”

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t you give me that glasses?”

    Me: “You didn’t buy a ticket for that movie.”

    Customer: “Well if there is only one auditorium, when does my movie play?”

    Me: “Sir, your movie is over. You went into the wrong auditorium.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s all your fault!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but how is this my fault?”

    Customer: “You didn’t tell me that there is more than one auditorium!”

    Me: “When I sold you your ticket I told you were in auditorium 3.”

    Customer: “Oh, I just thought you were stupid. So, can I have a refund?”

    Another customer in line: “Get out of line, dumba**!”

    A Heated Topic, Part 2

    | Kinnelon, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (A woman and her two younger children go in to see a kid-friendly movie. Ten minutes later she comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but there is a preview on right now with a man on fire!”

    Me: “A man on fire? Okay, that shouldn’t be the right preview.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous. I have kids in there!”

    (I check the theater.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a preview for Fantastic Four. The man on fire is a super hero. His special ability is that he can turn into a fireball and fly around.”

    Customer: “I don’t care who it is, he shouldn’t be on fire!”

    Related:
    A Heated Topic

    Orders With Benefits

    | Durham, NC, USA | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (There are two teenage males in line, one at the register being helped, and the other standing behind him. They seem to be friends, but are standing in line as though they are ordering separately. As there is only one register, I decide to get started on preparing the second guy’s order.)

    Me: “Hey, are you guys together or separate?”

    First guy: “Oh, we’re together. Oh wait!” *shocked look* “Did you mean like, ‘together together’, or if we’re just buying together?”

    Me: “I don’t follow.”

    Second Guy: “Are you asking if we’re dating?”

    Me: “Whichever one will make me make your food faster, I guess?”

    Modern Technology Can Pass By In A Blur

    | Michigan, USA | Movies & TV

    Customer: “I had a question about this one movie.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s up?”

    Customer: “How blurry is it?”

    (I am surprised for a moment, but then think maybe she is referring to movies in 3D, sometimes those look a little blurry.)

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Well, it says here that it is blurry and if its too bad I do not want to rent it.”

    Me: “Oh, let me see it.”

    Customer: “Do you have any other copies?”

    Me: “Ma’am, this copy isn’t blurry. It is in Blu-Ray, the new format designed to replace DVD movies.”

    Customer: “Oh, alright.”

    Me: “Do you have a Blu-Ray player?”

    Customer: “What is that?”

    Me: “I’ll just grab a DVD copy of the movie for you.”

    Hollywood, M.D.

    | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Health & Body, Math & Science, Movies & TV

    (A customer comes to the counter with a bleeding hand.)

    Customer: “Have you got a first aid kit back there? I caught my hand and it’s bleeding.”

    Me: “Of course. I’ll go get it.”

    (I come back with the kit and take out some antibiotic ointment and some bandages.)

    Customer: “Oh, I shouldn’t need the bandages.”

    Me: “Are you sure? It’s bleeding quite a lot.”

    Customer: “Well, that ointment will just fix it, won’t it?”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “That stuff you’ve got in your hand, that’ll just heal it up right?”

    Me: “This helps it heal faster and prevents it from getting infected, but it doesn’t heal it immediately.”

    Customer: “Don’t you have the stuff that just fixes it right away?”

    Me: “I don’t believe they have anything that does that, ma’am.”

    Customer: “They do, I saw it before!”

    Me: “Where did you see it?”

    Customer: “I saw it on some movie. I don’t want that stuff there. I want the stuff I saw in the movie. Just get that stuff and fix this already, will you?”

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