November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Movies & TV

Hammer Hammer, On The Wall

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Language & Words, Movies & TV

(I am the next customer in line at the theater and overhear this exchange. Note that Chris Hemsworth starred in both ‘Thor’ and ‘Snow White And The Huntsman’. At this particular theater, the board only had room for ‘Snow White And Th’ for show-times.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like 2 tickets to Snow White and Thor, please!”

Uncovering The Root Of The Problem

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV

(A member calls the library regarding his account.)

Caller: “It shows I still have a DVD on my account, and I was just wondering what that was. I could have sworn I turned them all in.”

Me: “I see you have on your card Roots, disc #3.”

Caller: “Hmm, that can’t be right. We only checked out discs #1 and #2, because we knew we wouldn’t have time to watch them all. There must me a mistake. We do not have Roots, disc #3.”

Me: “Okay, let me go over to the shelf and see if it’s there…” *I check the shelf* “I have on my shelf discs #1, #2, and #4, but not #3. Are you certain you didn’t check it out, possibly at a different time?”

Caller: “No! We do not have it! I already told you we only checked out the first two! If that’s all I took with me, how and why would I have disc #3?”

Me: “I am not sure. Would you like me to transfer you to my supervisor. Maybe she can help you figure out the situation?”

Caller: “No! I want you to fix it, because I don’t have that one!”

Me: “Sir, unless the DVD is on the shelf, there is little that I can do other than give you more time to look for it, or transfer you to my supervisor so she can handle the matter for you.”

Caller: “Well, aren’t you useless?!”

Me: “Okay, just a moment.”

(I transfer the caller to my supervisor. However, twenty minutes later, a man walks in. It’s clear from what he’s carrying he’s the same caller.)

Man: *hands me ‘Roots’ disc #3 and walks away*

Riding In On Blazing Saddles

| Marlborough, MA, USA | Money, Movies & TV

(A man comes into my store looking a bit irate. He pulls out an unwrapped DVD case of Mel Brooks’ “History of the World, Part I.”)

Customer: “I’d like to return this and get my money back!”

Me: “Was there something wrong with it?”

Customer: “I opened it up and there was no disc inside!”

(I open the DVD case to indeed find no disc inside.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t refund your money. This is something you’d need to take up with the manufacturer. This does happen rarely, but I can help get the contact info for the manufacturer if you’d like.”

Customer: “What!? Are you serious!? I want to talk to a manager!”

(My manager comes over and explains the same thing to him, how it’s outside of our policy to refund an item if there is no item to refund. The customer finally accepts this, but is livid.)

Customer: “Fine! Well, do you have History of the World, Part II then?”

Me: “Um… sir, that movie doesn’t exist.”

Customer: “Yes it does! I saw it once!”

Manager: “No, sir. There is a fake trailer at the end of History of the World, Part I. The one with Hitler ice skating.”

Customer: “Yeah! That’s the one! Where is it!?”

Manager: “Sir, like we already told you, it was fake. There is no History of the World, Part II.”

Customer: *storms out*

Rated I For Immature, Part 3

| NY, USA | Movies & TV

(Two older women have come in to see a popular, R-rated film. They are quite giddy and cheerful.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Customer #1: “Two senior tickets for [film], please!”

Customer #2: “I’m paying! Don’t let her pay, it’s her birthday!”

Customer #1: “No, I’ve got it!”

Customer #2: *moves between her friend and me* “No, I’m paying!” *she pays* “Don’t mind us, we’ve just escaped from the nursing home.”

Customer #1: “Don’t tell our kids we’re here!”

(I smile, and they go to their movie. An hour and a half later, I see them walking out, quiet and looking stunned.)

Customer #1: “We are not telling our kids we saw that!”

Rated I For Immature, Part 2
Rated I For Immature

Our Faith In Humanity Is Sinking

| Fort Nelson, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, History, Movies & TV

(I hear two younger girls—maybe 16 or 17—in the hallway talking right outside my office. One of the girls sees a poster on the wall that has something to do with the 100 year anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.)

Girl #1: “Oh, wow, it’s been 100 years since the Titanic sank. I didn’t know it had been that long.”

Girl #2: “Really? Leonardo DiCaprio sure doesn’t look that old! He must have a lot of work done…”