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    Category: Movies & TV

    DVD: Die Video Die

    | Wollongong, Australia | Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Top

    Customer: “This d*** DVD doesn’t work!”

    Me: “Oh I’m sorry sir, I’ll put it in to be cleaned immediately.” *I check disc for scratches* “I would say the reason this particular disc doesn’t work is that it’s cracked right in half.”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that s***! Half the DVD’s from this place won’t work in my DVD player!”

    Me: “Well, unfortunately some patrons don’t take very good care of them.”

    Customer: “Well why should I? It don’t work so I snapped it!”

    Me:You broke the DVD sir?”

    Customer: “Your DVDs never work anyway, and I’m sick of it!”

    Me: “You realize I will have to charge you the cost of a new DVD?”

    Customer: “That’s an outrage! Your DVDs don’t work because some selfish idiot doesn’t look after them, so I have to pay for it?”

    Me: “Did you or did you not break this DVD in half sir?”

    Customer: “Yes, but only because I’d already scratched it by throwing it across the room.”

    Me: “Why?”

    Customer: “Well if I didn’t do it, someone else just would have…If my dog damaged the disc, would I still have to pay for it?”

    Me: “Yes, you would.”

    Customer: “You’re a moody cow, you know that?!”

    You’d Bella Believe It

    | Wilmington, NC, USA | Movies & TV, Technology, Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling. May I have your first and last name please?”

    Caller: “Yes this is [name] from [wireless store] and I need help with switching a customer’s phone.”

    Me: “I can certainly assist you with changing the phone. May I have the serial number for the new phone?”

    Caller: “Yes, it’s A as in Alpha, E as in Edward, and C…as in Cullen.” *awkward pause* “Don’t judge me!”

    The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back, Part 2

    | St. Paul, MN, USA | Funny Names, Movies & TV

    (A middle-aged male customer comes from the hallway of theaters and walks up to the booth.)

    Customer: “Yeah, is there anyway I can get a refund for this movie? Sex In The City?”

    Me: “Yeah, sure. May I ask why you’d like a refund?”

    Customer: “It’s…not what I thought it was gonna be.”

    Related:
    The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back

    Wrong Kind Of TV Package

    | California, USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

    (A fairly regular customer, known for asking lots of questions about merchandise he has no intent of buying, wanders in to the electronic department.)

    Customer: “What’s this?”

    Me: “It lets you browse the Internet on your TV instead of requiring a computer.”

    Customer: *excited* “Really? Wow!”

    Me: “Yep, and if you buy the optional keyboard, you can even use it for email.”

    Customer: “Email? I’ve heard a lot about that. What is it, exactly?”

    Me: “Well, it’s kind of like regular mail. You type up a letter and send it off,
    except it gets there instantly and there’s no postage.”

    Customer: “Really? Wow! Does it do packages?”

    Not Suitable For Those Who Can’t Count

    | Edmonton, AB, USA | Movies & TV

    (I work at a theater, and this shift I was in Box Office selling tickets. A customer approaches me who had just got out of a movie.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “I would like to lodge a complaint to your manager.”

    Me: “She isn’t actually working today, sorry, but if you tell me what you need to complain about, I can make sure it gets passed onto her right away.”

    Customer: “I just watched “The A-Team” and it wasn’t at all how I thought it would be. The green people were very blurry!”

    Me: “I’m sorry Sir, but there aren’t any green people in the movie “The A-Team”. Are you sure you went into the right auditorium?”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? There is only one auditorium in this place!”

    Me: “Actually sir, we have five auditoriums, and there are different movies playing in each of them.”

    Customer: “Well why didn’t you tell me that! And why was the movie blurry?!”

    Me: “Well sir, the only movie we have the green people in it is “Shrek”, and that movie is in 3D, so if you are not wearing the 3D glasses it would be very blurry.”

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t you give me that glasses?”

    Me: “You didn’t buy a ticket for that movie.”

    Customer: “Well if there is only one auditorium, when does my movie play?”

    Me: “Sir, your movie is over. You went into the wrong auditorium.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s all your fault!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but how is this my fault?”

    Customer: “You didn’t tell me that there is more than one auditorium!”

    Me: “When I sold you your ticket I told you were in auditorium 3.”

    Customer: “Oh, I just thought you were stupid. So, can I have a refund?”

    Another customer in line: “Get out of line, dumba**!”

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