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    Category: Movies & TV

    In The Twilight Of Their Youth

    | Perth, Australia | Movies & TV

    (I’m serving a family at the box office. The wife keeps looking nervously at the Vampires Suck poster we have on display.)

    Me: “You’ll be in Cinema 6 for Tomorrow. Enjoy your movie guys!”

    Wife: “Excuse me, I just have one question.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Wife: *leans in close* “Are people actually watching Vampires Suck?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s very popular with young teenagers and has sold out a few times.”

    Wife: “But… but… it’s insulting Twilight!”

    Me: “I know, I saw it too.”

    (The husband quickly grabs his wife by the arm before she can say anything else.)

    Thick Accents, Thicker Heads

    | New Zealand | Books & Reading, Movies & TV, Tourists/Travel

    (A teenage girl enters the library.)

    Me: “Hi, do you need help?”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah, I’m looking for a book.”

    Me: “Okay. Are you a member of this library or any other Wellington library?”

    Customer: “Oh, no. I’m here with my mother for the US summer ’cause I live with Dad in Florida.”

    Me: “We can sign you up to the library for free and issue you a card. The card will cost two dollars.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    Me: “So, what book were you looking for?”

    Customer: “Twilight. Have you heard of it? Most people in America have read it, but I’m not sure if it’s here.”

    Me: “Oh, yeah. It was quite big for a while. My sister loved it.”

    Customer: “It’s my second favorite book ever, after Eclipse.”

    Me: “Oh, did you leave your copy in America?”

    Customer: “No, I just wanted a copy from here because everyone here has really funny accents  and I wanted to know how that would change the story.”

    Popcon

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV

    (A customer walks up holding a large red bag of popcorn to be refilled.)

    Customer: “Hi, could I please get a refill?”

    Me: “Did you buy this popcorn today?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s weird because we stopped selling these popcorn bags a month ago. We have black bags now.”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    They Must Have Learned From Vader’s Wheezing Problem

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Movies & TV

    (An angry looking young couple storms into the convenience store.)

    Man: “You sell cigarettes?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Man: “You smoking b******!”

    Me: “I don’t smoke. I’m not the one that picks out the–”

    Woan: “That is f***ing illegal!”

    Me: “No, actually, it’s not.”

    (The woman pulls something out of her purse and writes a message on it. She slams it on the counter and she and her husband storm off. I look at it later and it is a picture of a Death Star. The message reads ‘This is coming to get you!’.)

    These Are Not The Coins You Are Looking For

    | Salem, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Movies & TV

    (I have just finished ringing up a small order for a man and his 20-year-old son. Their change is only three cents, and they have already started walking away before I could hand it to them.)

    Me: “Wait, I’ve still got your change, unless you don’t want it.”

    Customer’s son: *doing Jedi hand wave* “We want our change.”

    Me: *at the same time* “You don’t want your change.”

    (We both wait a beat, then everyone in line breaks out laughing. We hadn’t practiced it, either.)

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