Category: Movies & TV

I Sense Toil And Trouble

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Movies & TV, Religion, Uncategorized

(A customer hands me a ticket to a movie that we are not ready to let people into yet.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. The auditorium for [movie] is just being cleaned right now.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. No problem.”

Another customer: *comes running up to me* “What did you say about [movie]? What’s wrong?”

Me: “Nothing is wrong. We’re just cleaning the seats and aisles before we let people in.”

Another customer: “Oh, thank goodness! I thought you said it was being ‘cleansed’. I don’t want a movie theater that believes in that new-age spiritual witchcraft stuff!”

Me: “Oh. Nothing like that happens here.”

Another customer: “Good!”

(The movie she was waiting to see? ‘Season Of The Witch’.)

A Tourist Traveling To Terror Incognita

| Ashburn, VA, USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

(I’m working as the ticket tearer when two young kids come up and ask me a question.)

Kid #1: “Our parents were in a different movie. They said they would be out first, but they aren’t here. It’s been a long time.”

Me: “Okay, do you know what movie they saw?”

Kid #2: “It was the terrorist, they went to see the terrorists!”

Me: “Oh! The Tourist with Johnny Depp. That won’t get out for another 10 minutes.”

Kid #1: “No it was the Terrorist! They said there was bombs and gangsters so we had to see Tangled instead.”

Me: “Well we don’t have that movie, so I’m sure it was the Tourist.”

(Kids walk away to wait. I overhear them.)

Kid #2: “What’s a tourist?”

Kid #1: “It must be the terrorists’ friends!”

28 Years Later

, | Bloomington, IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Top

(A little old lady approaches the counter.)

Little old lady: “Do you carry flamethrowers?

Walking Carpets Tend To Be That Way

| Illinois, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

(I am a customer having lunch at a cafe near my office. I overhear two teen girls at the table next to mine.)

Customer #1: “I don’t like this Chewbacca sandwich.”

Customer #2: “Um…what?”

Customer #1: “This Chewbacca sandwich. It’s too tough.”

Customer #2: “I think you mean ciabatta.”

Hell In A Recycle Basket

| Bloomington, IL, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Religion, Uncategorized

(A mom, dad, and their son walk out of a 3D movie and are throwing their 3D glasses into the recycling bin.)
 
Son: “Can I keep my glasses?”
 
Mother: “No, we have to recycle them.”
 
Son: “What if I don’t?”
 
Mother: “Uh, well…then you go to purgatory!”

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