(I am working as a cashier at a movie theater.)
Me: “Here are your tickets, ma’am. The theater is on your right. Here are your 3D glasses.”
(About five minutes pass before I hear her complaining to my manager.)
Customer: “…and that girl didn’t tell me! She should be fired! I could have really gotten hurt tripping over the stairs. She never told me that I only needed the 3D glasses for the movie!”
Manager: “Ma’am, you don’t need the glasses for real life. Real life is already in three dimensions.”
A New Dimension Of Stupidity
(This is at a midnight showing when a new Star Wars movie was released.)
Me: "When the doors open please go in and take your seats. You will not be allowed to save seats for people further back in line."
(Customer waves his hand in the air like a Jedi.)
Customer: "You will let us save seats."
(A customer has just purchased some tickets and they’ve just been given their tickets.)
Customer: “Oh, before I go…if I eat my ticket, can you replace it?”
Me: “Uh, eat…your ticket?”
Customer: “Yes, I eat things, I can’t help myself.”
Me: “If you eat your ticket, then keep your receipt and we’ll be happy to replace your ticket.”
Customer: “Oh, okay thanks!”
(The customer walks away and then pauses and comes back to the ticket desk.)
Customer: “What if I eat my receipt and my ticket?”
Me: “Please don’t.”
Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks!”
(This was back when the movie "Catch Me If You Can" came out. The movie poster has two large blue arrows pointing in different directions. A man buys a ticket and goes down the hallway to the theater. We see him again, walking the other way and looking angry. Finally, he comes up to the counter.)
Me: "May I help you, sir?"
Customer: "Yes, where are you showing this movie?" *waves
the ticket in my face*
Me: "Just down that hallway, sir…the second door."
Customer: "Don’t give me that! I followed the arrows on the poster, and they led me to the bathroom and then a closet!"
(I’m serving a family at the box office. The wife keeps looking nervously at the Vampires Suck poster we have on display.)
Me: “You’ll be in Cinema 6 for Tomorrow. Enjoy your movie guys!”
Wife: “Excuse me, I just have one question.”
Wife: *leans in close* “Are people actually watching Vampires Suck?”
Me: “Yes, it’s very popular with young teenagers and has sold out a few times.”
Wife: “But… but… it’s insulting Twilight!”
Me: “I know, I saw it too.”
(The husband quickly grabs his wife by the arm before she can say anything else.)