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    Category: Movies & TV

    Date Fright

    | Springville, UT, USA | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (I’m hosting and whenever I seat a table, I put an ‘X’ next to the server who got the table so that all the servers get the same amount of tables. Two women walk in.)

    Me: “Hello, how many for you today?”

    Woman 1: “Just the two.”

    Me: *marking the next server* “Well, if you just want to follow me.”

    Woman 2: “That wasn’t our name!”

    Me: “What?”

    Woman 2: “We didn’t have a reservation. That wasn’t us!”

    Me: “Oh, I was just marking the server you’ll be having today.”

    Woman 1: “Sorry, we just saw Date Night and they took someone’s reservation and almost died!”

    Close, But No Cinema

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Movies & TV

    (I’m working the outside ticket counter and an elderly woman comes up to buy a ticket.)

    Customer: “I want a ticket to see [movie].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. That movie’s not showing here.”

    Customer: “Yes, you do. I’d like a ticket, please.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, we’re not showing that. Did you see it listed in the paper? Sometimes some of the titles get switched around.”

    Customer: “No. I saw the commercial for it and it said it was ‘showing at a theater near you’, and this is the closest theater to my house!”

    H2-Woah

    | Sydney, Australia | Money, Movies & TV

    (At the cinema the water is really expensive, the bottle we sell costs $5.10 but anywhere else it would be $2.)

    Me: “Hi what can I get you?”

    Customer: “I’ll just grab a water thanks.”

    Me: “Sure, that’ll be $5.10.”

    Customer: *shocked* “$5.10!?”

    Me: “Yeah, sorry, just our prices.”

    Customer: “But it’s water. You know that s*** comes from the sky right?”

    Totally, Like, Excruciatus

    | Hazel Grove, NY, USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, School

    (Two girls enter the bookstore. I recognize them as being two ditzy girls from my English class.)

    Me: “Hey, [Girl 1] and [Girl 2], what’s up? I didn’t think you guys liked hanging out in bookshops?”

    Girl 1: *giggles* “Duh! Did you like think that we’re geeks or something?”

    Girl 2: “Like, duh, I’m just looking for this book for my sister.”

    (Said sister happens to be one of my good friends.)

    Me: “Oh, what book does Jen want?”

    Girl 2: “It’s like, this book with some totally geeky wizards or something.”

    Me: “Do you mean Harry Potter? She’s already got those books.”

    Girl 2: “Like, no duh! It’s like, written by some totally old-ish chick named Jane or something. It’s like, about this chick named Emma.”

    Me:Emma by Jane Austen hasn’t got any wizards.”

    Girl 2: “Ain’t Emma that witch or something? That nerdy, bushy-haired one?”

    Me: “That’s Hermione Granger. Her actress is Emma Watson.”

    Girl 2: *huffing* “What-EVER! I’m like, so totally out of here, you geek!”

    They’re In A Galaxy Far, Far Away

    | New Zealand | Books & Reading, Movies & TV

    Me: “Hello, miss, can I help you?”

    Patron: “Yeah, I’ve been searching these shelves for about ten minutes and I can’t find any books on this one guy.”

    Me: “Who are you looking for books on?”

    Patron: “Oh, I think he’s quite famous! Wait, I know his name.”

    Me: “Well, what did he do?”

    Patron: “Something to do with the army…”

    (The patron pauses for a bit before realizing.)

    Patron: “Oh! Darth Vader!”

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