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    Category: Movies & TV

    You And Me Could Write A Bipartisan Romance

    | Durham, NC, USA | Movies & TV, Politics, Top

    (I am the first person to arrive at work in the morning, and I answer a call as soon as I walk into the door.)

    Caller: “Finally! I have been calling since 5 am! You people should be ashamed. I have an emergency!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. No one gets here until 10 am most days. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I have a serious problem! My daughter has planned to have a date sometime today at your theater, and I told her she was not allowed to go! I need you to cancel her ticket!”

    (I see no pre-sales for the day at all.)

    Me: “No one has bought a ticket so far for today, so I can’t really help. Maybe you should just make her stay home?”

    Caller: “Well, I can’t do that. She lives in her own place and I can’t get over there in time to stop her.”

    Me: “Just how old is your daughter anyway?”

    Caller: “She’s 28.”

    Me: “Ma’am, she’s an adult and I cannot refuse her a ticket because you do not approve of her date.”

    Caller: “You don’t understand! He’s a Democrat!”

    Some Callers Are Proper Dementor

    | Racine, WI, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Top

    (I have a caller named Victor Krumm in the computer system. I’m a Harry Potter fan.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, so you’re Victor Krumm?”

    Caller: “Yep, that’s me.”

    Me: “Sorry, this might sound funny, but did you know that there’s a book series called Harry Potter with a character with that name?”

    (There’s a pause, as if he’s thinking, and suddenly he yells.)

    Caller: “THE MUGGLES KNOW!”

    (He hangs up. His wife calls a little while later to actually schedule.)

    A Golden Snitch Short Of A Quidditch Match

    | Bay Area, CA, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Caller: “This a bookstore?”

    Me: “Yes, this is a bookstore.”

    Caller: “Oh. I need the 8th Harry Potter book.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but there are only 7 Harry Potter books.”

    Caller: “But I need the 8th one.”

    Me: “There are only 7 books, sir.”

    Caller: “Why?”

    Me: “Because there are only 7 years at Hogwarts.”

    Caller: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “Sir, have you read the Harry Potter books?”

    Caller: “No, my son reads them and he finished the 7th one and asked me to get the 8th one.”

    Me: “Sir, if he read the 7th one, he would know that that was the final book in the series.”

    Caller: “But he wants to read it. What can I do?”

    Me: “Contact the author?”

    Caller: “Do you have his number?”

    Me: “Do I have J.K. Rowling’s number?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “No. I… uh… don’t happen to have that on me.”

    Caller: “Oh. Can you tell my son that there are only 7?”

    Me: “No, I’m sure you’re quite capable of doing that all on your own.”

    Caller: “He will be very upset!” *hangs up*

    Pilgrim’s Pilgrims

    | Texas, USA | Movies & TV

    Customer: *walks up and takes a deep breath* “WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! WE’RE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND BE SAD AND STUFF!”

    Me: “So, one for Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World?”

    Customer: “That sounds lovely.”

    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 2

    | Macon, GA, USA | Movies & TV, Top

    (I am working as a cashier at a movie theater.)

    Me: “Here are your tickets, ma’am. The theater is on your right. Here are your 3D glasses.”

    (About five minutes pass before I hear her complaining to my manager.)

    Customer: “…and that girl didn’t tell me! She should be fired! I could have really gotten hurt tripping over the stairs. She never told me that I only needed the 3D glasses for the movie!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, you don’t need the glasses for real life. Real life is already in three dimensions.”

    Related:
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity


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