(I’ve recently been hired at a small retail chain as a cashier. Since I’m new, I haven’t received my uniform yet, so I have to work in my regular clothes.)
Me: “Hi! How are you today?”
(The customer stares inquisitively at my shirt, then stares back at me. I happen to be wearing a shirt with a picture of Gary Coleman on it.)
Customer: “Aren’t you a little too young to be wearing that? Do you even know who Gary Coleman is?”
Me: “Whatchoo talkin’ bout?”
Twilight vs. Harry Potter Fans! In the battle between Team Edward and Team Harry, which fans are more devoted? Find out in this week’s roundup!
- Some Callers Are Proper Dementor (7,172 thumbs up)
A Harry Potter fan meets the real life Viktor Krumm!
- You’d Bella Believe It (4,167 thumbs up)
The only ABCs this customer knows are Alice, Bella, and Carlisle.
- Totally, Like, Aguamenti (2,569 thumbs up)
This totally wet reader’s Harry Potter books could use an Impervius Charm!
- Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 8 (827 thumbs up)
You know you’re a devoted Twilight fan when when you name your children Edward and Bella.
- The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3 (5,329 thumbs up)
A pair of Twilight-hating prankster teens inadvertently scores one for Team Harry!
PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!
(I work as floor staff for a major theater company. This happened about two and a half years ago, just prior to a haircut. Two teenage girls walk up to the box office.)
Me: “How’s it goin’?”
Customer #1: “Two for… oh, what’s that called?”
Customer #2: *looks at me* “He should know. He was in it!”
Me: *baffled* “Um, I’m sorry?”
Customer #2: “You’re that guy, right? That Superbad guy, right?”
Me: “…Jonah Hill?”
Customer #2: “Yeah, that’s right!”
Customer #1: “Hey, yeah!”
Me: “I guarantee you I’m not Jonah Hill.”
Customer #2: “Are you sure?”
Me: “If I was Jonah Hill, why would I be working for minimum wage at a movie theater?”
Customer #2: “Maybe you need a second job?”
(I’m working the box office on a particularly slow night. Part of my duty is to answer the phone and deal with customer inquiries. We are a theater that shows rather alternative movies.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [theater].”
Customer: “Oh, what a lovely young voice. Tell me, what is [movie] about?”
Me: “It’s about a victim of pedophilia and how she exacts revenge on her abuser. The next showing is at–”
Customer: “That’s nice. You have such a beautiful voice.”
Me: “Um, thanks.”
Customer: “Tell me. Do you like cats? I love cats. I have several. I just moved here and I can’t find any good vets.”
Me: “Yes. I like them.”
Customer: “We sound perfect for each other. I’ll see you tonight when I buy tickets from you…in person. You’ll recognize my voice. I’ll also be covered in cat fur. Good night!” *hangs up*
(I work ticketing at a movie theater. A middle-aged woman and her daughter approach me.)
Customer: “We’d like two tickets to…what are we going to see?”
Daughter: “It’s Breaking Dawn.”
Customer: “I’ve been calling it Sexy Vampires all day.”