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    Category: Movies & TV

    One Night And One Night Only

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Movies & TV

    Caller: “I notice on your website that you show [kid's movie] at midnight.”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, that is correct.”

    Caller: “Why would you do that? No little kid is going to see that movie at midnight!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we have midnight showings for all movies, no matter the intended audience.”

    Caller: “Well, how am I supposed to bring my kids to a midnight showing? This is a formal complaint and I would like to speak to your manager.”

    Me: “Just one second, ma’am, I will send you to a manager.”

    (I connect the caller with a manager.)

    Caller: “How the h*** am I supposed to take my kids to see this movie if it only shows at midnight?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, that is just the day before it is released. It will show many other days at normal times.”

    Caller: “Well, why didn’t anybody ever tell me that?!”

    Nuts All Around

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (I’m working at the concession stand. A woman and her grandson walk up to my register.)

    Customer: “One bag of M&Ms and a drink.”

    Me: “Would you like plain, peanut, or peanut butter?”

    Customer: “Plain! He can’t have peanuts, he’s very allergic.”

    (The transaction continues as normal, and they purchase popcorn, which is commonly made with peanut oil at other theaters.)

    Me: “Just so you know, our popcorn is made with coconut oil instead of peanut oil, so he can eat that.”

    Customer: *stops dead in her tracks* “No! Coco-NUT! It’s a nut. He can’t eat it.”

    (I can’t manage a response before she walks off with her grandson.)

    Manager: *walks over, laughing* “Did that really just happen?”

    Justice Is (Self) Served

    | Attleboro, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (This occurred approximately 4-5 years ago, but continues to be a favorite to tell the newbies. There are four concession stand workers and we are all on one side of the stand talking late one night.)

    Me: *returning from other side* “Hey guys, did we remove the salted pretzel from the display?”

    Coworker #1: “Not that I know of.”

    Coworker #2: “Yeah, that’s weird. Maybe the manager knows.”

    (She finds our manager.)

    Coworker #2: “Did you get rid of the pretzel display model?”

    Manager: “No.”

    Coworker #1: “You don’t think someone stole it do you?”

    Coworker #2: “No, that would be stupid!”

    (Then, we see a teen wandering the lobby looking a little bewildered, munching on a pretzel.)

    Me: “Um…did you get that pretzel from the case there?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “That is a display model only. It has been there for a year and a half. It’s also been treated with shellac.”

    (The customer takes a bite.)

    Customer: *muffled* “Tastes pretty good to me!”

    (The customer wanders off unsteadily and we all stare in utter shock.)

    Manager: “Keep an eye on him. He’s probably going to be violently sick.”

    Harry Potter And The Deathly Embarrassments

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Top

    (I am the assistant manager at a movie theater. There is a showing of the latest Harry Potter movie that is completely sold out. A pair of teenage girls approaches me to ask for some help. A woman is refusing to let them sit down in the theater, and the movie is starting in about 5 minutes. I go with them and find that their seats are the last two in the theater. The woman in question has three kids, all who look to be younger than 12.)

    Me: “Excuse me, miss, but could you let these two girls sit down? The movie will be starting soon and–”

    Woman: “No. My kids can’t sit by strangers. They might get kidnapped or raped.”

    Me: “I understand that you care about your children very much, but these two girls need to sit here.”

    Woman: *raising voice* “I just told you, my kids can’t sit by strangers! What don’t you get about that?”

    Me: “Ma’am–”

    Woman: “I mean, look at them! That one’s wearing a rapist symbol on her shirt!”

    (She points to one of the girls, who is wearing a shirt with her astrological sign on it.)

    Me: “Ma’am, if you’re going to make a scene, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

    (The woman continues to raise her voice at me and insist that these girls cannot sit down here. The movie is already going to be delayed at this point, and the two girls are looking visibly upset. I go ahead and call for security. At this point, the woman realizes that she’s been beaten, so she makes one last stand.)

    Woman: *standing up, at the top of her lungs* “Help! These girls are touching my kids!”

    (Security comes and holds her in their office for the rest of the movie. Her kids got to stay for the movie. Afterwards, I run into her again.)

    Woman: “I’m going to call the police on you! You let those girls touch my kids!”

    Child: *in tears* “Mom, you’re so embarrassing!”

    H 2 Oh No You Didn’t

    | Arroyo Grande, CA, USA | Movies & TV

    (Two older customers walk up to the concession line and order popcorn.)

    Me: “Hi, can I get any drinks started for you today?”

    Customer: “A water please.”

    Me: “Would you like a complimentary cup or a bottle?”

    Customer: “Can you not f***ing listen? I want a water!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, we have both a free cup of water and a water bottle for purchase. Which would you like?”

    Customer: “Of course I want a f***ing water bottle!”

    Me: “Okay. Would you like a large or small bottle?”

    (The customer looks to his friend like I’m an idiot and goes on about how I cannot listen.)

    Customer: “Can you not hear? I want a f***ing bottle, not a cup!”

    Me: “I understand this, sir, but we have both a large and a small water bottle. What size of water bottle would you like?”

    (The customer looks to his friend and throws up his hands. His friend explains to him that there are two sizes.)

    Customer: “Just get me the large!”

    (I hand him his large water.)

    Customer: “Oh, and one more thing…learn to listen!”

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