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    Category: Movies & TV

    Riding In On Blazing Saddles

    | Marlborough, MA, USA | Money, Movies & TV

    (A man comes into my store looking a bit irate. He pulls out an unwrapped DVD case of Mel Brooks’ “History of the World, Part I.”)

    Customer: “I’d like to return this and get my money back!”

    Me: “Was there something wrong with it?”

    Customer: “I opened it up and there was no disc inside!”

    (I open the DVD case to indeed find no disc inside.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t refund your money. This is something you’d need to take up with the manufacturer. This does happen rarely, but I can help get the contact info for the manufacturer if you’d like.”

    Customer: “What!? Are you serious!? I want to talk to a manager!”

    (My manager comes over and explains the same thing to him, how it’s outside of our policy to refund an item if there is no item to refund. The customer finally accepts this, but is livid.)

    Customer: “Fine! Well, do you have History of the World, Part II then?”

    Me: “Um… sir, that movie doesn’t exist.”

    Customer: “Yes it does! I saw it once!”

    Manager: “No, sir. There is a fake trailer at the end of History of the World, Part I. The one with Hitler ice skating.”

    Customer: “Yeah! That’s the one! Where is it!?”

    Manager: “Sir, like we already told you, it was fake. There is no History of the World, Part II.”

    Customer: *storms out*

    Rated I For Immature, Part 3

    | NY, USA | Movies & TV

    (Two older women have come in to see a popular, R-rated film. They are quite giddy and cheerful.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

    Customer #1: “Two senior tickets for [film], please!”

    Customer #2: “I’m paying! Don’t let her pay, it’s her birthday!”

    Customer #1: “No, I’ve got it!”

    Customer #2: *moves between her friend and me* “No, I’m paying!” *she pays* “Don’t mind us, we’ve just escaped from the nursing home.”

    Customer #1: “Don’t tell our kids we’re here!”

    (I smile, and they go to their movie. An hour and a half later, I see them walking out, quiet and looking stunned.)

    Customer #1: “We are not telling our kids we saw that!”

    Related:
    Rated I For Immature, Part 2
    Rated I For Immature

    Our Faith In Humanity Is Sinking

    | Fort Nelson, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, History, Movies & TV

    (I hear two younger girls—maybe 16 or 17—in the hallway talking right outside my office. One of the girls sees a poster on the wall that has something to do with the 100 year anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.)

    Girl #1: “Oh, wow, it’s been 100 years since the Titanic sank. I didn’t know it had been that long.”

    Girl #2: “Really? Leonardo DiCaprio sure doesn’t look that old! He must have a lot of work done…”

    This Customer’s Spirit Is Unsinkable

    , | Derbyshire, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Movies & TV, Top

    (I am quite well-spoken and have what many people refer to as a ‘posh’ accent.)

    Me: “Alright, so that will be £24, please!”

    Customer: “You’re far too posh to be working in a place like this!”

    Me: “Why, thank you! I do tend to hear that rather often! I’ve got to pay my way through university somehow, I suppose.”

    Customer: “Ooh yes! You sound just like that Kate Winslet!”

    Me: “Um, thank you! Have a good night!”

    (About one week passes, when the customer comes through again, this time with her entire family in tow.)

    Customer: “It’s Kate Winslet!”

    Me: “Hello again! How are you all this evening?”

    Customer: “I’d be better if you could just talk at my kids a second!”

    Me: “Okay then. I mean, what would you like me to say?”

    Customer: “They’ve been watching Titanic all week getting ready for this. Say that bit when she’s stuck on the door at the end!”

    Me: “Um… ‘I’ll never let go, Jack!’”

    Customer: *to her kids* “Ha! Didn’t I tell you she sounded just like her?!”

    Me: “Well, I’m glad you liked it. Is there anything else I can help you all with tonight?”

    Customer: “Oh, no thank you, darling. Just stay as you are. It’s so nice to be served by people that are just so happy!”

    (These customers are now regulars, who not only ask me to quote Titanic every time they come through, but also got one of my coworkers to do the ‘Gangnam Style’ dance.)

    Diff’rent Clothes

    | Scarborough, ON, Canada | Movies & TV

    (I’ve recently been hired at a small retail chain as a cashier. Since I’m new, I haven’t received my uniform yet, so I have to work in my regular clothes.)

    Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

    (The customer stares inquisitively at my shirt, then stares back at me. I happen to be wearing a shirt with a picture of Gary Coleman on it.)

    Customer: “Aren’t you a little too young to be wearing that? Do you even know who Gary Coleman is?”

    Me: “Whatchoo talkin’ bout?”


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