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    Category: Movies & TV

    Lactose And Intolerant

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bigotry, Movies & TV

    (The movie ‘Milk’ has just come out. A man approaches the ticket box.)

    Customer: “I demand a refund!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; what’s wrong?”

    Customer: “I just saw Milk, what the h***? That movie was an outrage! I had no idea it was about that s***! Give me my money back!”

    Me: “Sir, did you read the movie description before you bought the ticket?”

    Customer: “No! Why should I?! The movie was supposed to be about what the title says!”

    Thinks He Is Customer Number One

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer comes in. While he is a regular, no one on staff cares for him, because he always acts like he should get special treatment.)

    Me: “Hi, [Customer]. How are you today?”

    Customer: “Fine, Here’s your movies.”

    (He throws them on the counter, and they scatter everywhere. I start picking them up.)

    Me: “These movies didn’t come from here. In fact they aren’t even from another one of the stores in our chain, but a completely different one.”

    Customer: “What do you mean? So I can’t return them here?”

    Me: “No, you’ll have to take them back to [Competitor].”

    Customer: “I don’t see why! Don’t you know how much money I spend here?”

    Me: “Actually, I do know you’re in here quite often, but I still can’t take movies from [Competitor].”

    (He argues with me for a while, and I try to calmly explain why I cannot take his movies. He continues to be belligerent, and knocks over other things that we have sitting on the counter.)

    Me: “Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “Fine! I’m leaving and taking my business elsewhere!”

    (As I watch him leave the store, instead of heading toward his car, he goes around to the part of the building facing the road and proceeds to urinate all over the windows. The entire store has huge windows, so after all the ruckus he caused, my staff and our customers in the store all see this. Everyone is in shock over this display. I start calling the police.)

    Me: “Yes, I would like to make a report on a man who exposed himself and urinated on our building… Why, yes, I do happen to have his name and his address…”

    A Minor Mistake

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Love/Romance, Movies & TV

    (I’m currently a high school student. I look really young, about 12 or 13, so I’m not hit on very often. A customer aged about 30 walks up to me, smirking.)

    Customer: “Remember when I asked you out two years ago, and you turned me down because you said you live too far away? Well, look where we are now. I have a job at [local corporate headquarters], and you clean up people’s trash at a movie theater.”

    (He drops trash on the ground.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not who you think I am. I go to [local high school]. Also, I only date girls.”

    (The customer slowly realizes that I am both a minor and a lesbian.)

    Customer: “Oh. I’m way off, aren’t I?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (The customer picks up his trash, and scurries off with a sheepish look on his face.)

    Putting The Z In Lazy

    | New Zealand | Movies & TV

    Customer: “Hi, do you have Zombieland?”

    Me: “Sure, have you had a look in the DVD section under ‘Z’?”

    Customer: “No, I wanted to see if you had stock first; could you check, please?”

    Me: “The ‘Z’ section is right behind you, and I saw one earlier today so It should be there.”

    Customer: “Can you check on your computer if you have any?”

    (I walk out from behind counter, and pick up the DVD.)

    Customer: “Oh! Where did you find it?”

    Me: “Under ‘Z’, in the DVD section.”

    Customers Are Like Popcorn, Sweet Or Salty

    | Chesapeake, VA, USA | Awesome Customers, Movies & TV

    (It is a busy weekend. I have been left alone at the register during a rush. I have had several drinks spilled on myself and my register terminal, and have had countless angry customers berate me. By the time the rush dies down, I am on edge. A couple approaches my till.)

    Me: “Welcome to [theater]; can I help you with anything today?”

    Wife: “Our movie doesn’t start for a half hour.”

    Me: “I… um… to be honest, ma’am, I don’t know what to do about that.”

    (I wait for her to start swearing at me, but instead, she and her husband laugh.)

    Wife: “Oh, no! We were just letting you know that we’re in no rush, and not buying anything right now. We’re not complaining!”

    Husband: “We’re definitely not complainers. We’ve been behind the counter, and we understand.”

    Me: “Oh, okay!”

    Wife: “That’s a stupid thing to complain about, anyway! Do people actually complain about things like that?”

    Me: “I’ve had stranger. A woman reported me for being too nice.”

    Husband: “Well, she was just plain salty, wasn’t she?”

    (They strike up a conversation with me for fifteen minutes about candy and customers, and the military pins on my lanyard. When their movie ends, they smile and wave goodbye. They completely turn around my evening, and I complete the shift in a brighter mood. A little kindness goes a long way!)

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