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    Category: Movies & TV

    Our Faith In Humanity Is Sinking

    | Fort Nelson, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, History, Movies & TV

    (I hear two younger girls—maybe 16 or 17—in the hallway talking right outside my office. One of the girls sees a poster on the wall that has something to do with the 100 year anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.)

    Girl #1: “Oh, wow, it’s been 100 years since the Titanic sank. I didn’t know it had been that long.”

    Girl #2: “Really? Leonardo DiCaprio sure doesn’t look that old! He must have a lot of work done…”

    This Customer’s Spirit Is Unsinkable

    , | Derbyshire, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Movies & TV, Top

    (I am quite well-spoken and have what many people refer to as a ‘posh’ accent.)

    Me: “Alright, so that will be £24, please!”

    Customer: “You’re far too posh to be working in a place like this!”

    Me: “Why, thank you! I do tend to hear that rather often! I’ve got to pay my way through university somehow, I suppose.”

    Customer: “Ooh yes! You sound just like that Kate Winslet!”

    Me: “Um, thank you! Have a good night!”

    (About one week passes, when the customer comes through again, this time with her entire family in tow.)

    Customer: “It’s Kate Winslet!”

    Me: “Hello again! How are you all this evening?”

    Customer: “I’d be better if you could just talk at my kids a second!”

    Me: “Okay then. I mean, what would you like me to say?”

    Customer: “They’ve been watching Titanic all week getting ready for this. Say that bit when she’s stuck on the door at the end!”

    Me: “Um… ‘I’ll never let go, Jack!’”

    Customer: *to her kids* “Ha! Didn’t I tell you she sounded just like her?!”

    Me: “Well, I’m glad you liked it. Is there anything else I can help you all with tonight?”

    Customer: “Oh, no thank you, darling. Just stay as you are. It’s so nice to be served by people that are just so happy!”

    (These customers are now regulars, who not only ask me to quote Titanic every time they come through, but also got one of my coworkers to do the ‘Gangnam Style’ dance.)

    Diff’rent Clothes

    | Scarborough, ON, Canada | Movies & TV

    (I’ve recently been hired at a small retail chain as a cashier. Since I’m new, I haven’t received my uniform yet, so I have to work in my regular clothes.)

    Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

    (The customer stares inquisitively at my shirt, then stares back at me. I happen to be wearing a shirt with a picture of Gary Coleman on it.)

    Customer: “Aren’t you a little too young to be wearing that? Do you even know who Gary Coleman is?”

    Me: “Whatchoo talkin’ bout?”

    Weekly Roundup: Twilight vs. Harry Potter Fans

    | Not Always Right | Movies & TV, Roundups

    Twilight vs. Harry Potter Fans! In the battle between Team Edward and Team Harry, which fans are more devoted? Find out in this week’s roundup!

    1. Some Callers Are Proper Dementor (7,172 thumbs up)
      A Harry Potter fan meets the real life Viktor Krumm!
    2. You’d Bella Believe It (4,167 thumbs up)
      The only ABCs this customer knows are Alice, Bella, and Carlisle.
    3. Totally, Like, Aguamenti (2,569 thumbs up)
      This totally wet reader’s Harry Potter books could use an Impervius Charm!
    4. Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 8 (827 thumbs up)
      You know you’re a devoted Twilight fan when when you name your children Edward and Bella.
    5. The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3 (5,329 thumbs up)
      A pair of Twilight-hating prankster teens inadvertently scores one for Team Harry!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    My Day’s About To Get Hairy

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Movies & TV, Pets & Animals

    (I’m working the box office on a particularly slow night. Part of my duty is to answer the phone and deal with customer inquiries. We are a theater that shows rather alternative movies.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [theater].”

    Customer: “Oh, what a lovely young voice. Tell me, what is [movie] about?”

    Me: “It’s about a victim of pedophilia and how she exacts revenge on her abuser. The next showing is at–”

    Customer: “That’s nice. You have such a beautiful voice.”

    Me: “Um, thanks.”

    Customer: “Tell me. Do you like cats? I love cats. I have several. I just moved here and I can’t find any good vets.”

    Me: “Yes. I like them.”

    Customer: “We sound perfect for each other. I’ll see you tonight when I buy tickets from you…in person. You’ll recognize my voice. I’ll also be covered in cat fur. Good night!” *hangs up*

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