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    Category: Movies & TV

    Stark Raving Mad

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (An older customer walks in very quickly and glares at me.)

    Me: “Good morning!”

    Customer:What does ‘winter is coming’ mean?!”

    (The customer is referring to our ‘Game Of Thrones’ themed red-wine window.)

    Me: “Oh! It’s the tagline, sort of, to a very popular series of books and TV show.”

    Customer: “Well, you should be shot in the head with a small derringer. It should read, ‘autumn is here, winter is near.'”

    Me: “Well, it’s a pop culture reference and has been very successful for us. I’m not sure what your intention is, coming in here and telling me I should be shot.”

    Customer: “WELL DO YOU ONLY SELL WINE TO TRENDY PEOPLE?! I OWN AN ADVERTISING AGENCY! I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU!” *storms out*

    Worshiping A Vengeful God

    | Waco, TX, USA | Money, Movies & TV, Religion

    (At our theater, matinee ends at 6 pm, and 3D movies cost $2.50 more than regular ones. It’s about 5:50 pm and I’m selling tickets for a 6pm showing.)

    Customer: “Well, I’d like two for The Avengers.”

    Me: “Alright, the 6 pm is in 3D; is that okay?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s why we’re watching the 6 pm one!”

    Me: “Fantastic. Any student or military IDs for a discount today?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Well, for two tickets that’s $19.”

    Customer: “FOR TWO TICKETS? That’s ridiculous! I thought this place was supposed to be cheap; what am I even paying for?”

    (I’ve zoned out, and just grab his glasses when his wife cuts in.)

    Customer’s Wife: *over her still-ranting husband* “Ignore him. He’s had a bad day. Here’s a twenty.”

    (I finish their transaction and someone walks up to them and greets the man.)

    Other Customer: “Oh, hey Pastor!”

    Little Pony, Big Problem

    | USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I always try to make conversation with the customers, especially the kids. I notice that the young daughter of the family I’m ringing up is wearing a shirt bearing a picture of Fluttershy, one of the ponies from the new ‘My Little Pony’ cartoon.)

    Me: “I like your shirt, sweetheart! That’s Fluttershy, huh? Fluttershy’s my favorite pony!”

    (The little girl glares at me.)

    Me: “Is something wrong?”

    Girl: *crying* “You can’t have Fluttershy for your favorite, because Fluttershy is my favoritest pony ever, in the whole wide world! I like her way more than you could ever ever ever, and she’s my pony pal, not yours! I love Fluttershy, so you CAN’T!”

    Me: “Oh… uhm, can I say Pinkie Pie is my favorite then?”

    Girl: *sniffling, wiping her eyes* “Yeah. You can have Pinkie Pie.”

    The Ten Doctors Versus The Ten Commandments

    , | USA | Crazy Requests, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Religion

    (I order my food, and I sit down and start watching an episode of ‘Doctor Who’ on my smartphone with my headphones. Another customer taps me on the shoulder. I turn around to see a girl in her late teens.)

    Customer: “Is that Doctor Who?”

    Me: “Yeah, are you a fan?!”

    Customer: “No! I am asking you to shut it off!”

    Me: “Why?”

    Customer: “Because my church says that Doctor Who is evil, and I am asking you to shut it off.”

    Me: “Umm, no, I am not turning it off. Besides, I have my headphones in, so you don’t have to watch it.”

    Customer: “No, you have to respect my views and turn it off! It’s against my religion; it’s evil! Now turn it off!”

    (The customer grabs for my phone. I pull my phone away before she can grab it.)

    Me: “Don’t touch my phone!”

    Customer:Doctor Who is evil! They are trying to brain-wash our young minds! They want us to support gay marriage and be atheist!”

    Me: “Well, if you really did understand Doctor Who, you would have seen that the Tenth Doctor was talking about Christmas, and he said that he was there when Jesus was born. Also the Doctor is very open-minded; he would save you even if you did call him evil.”

    Customer:DOCTOR WHO IS EVIL!”

    (The customer continues screaming and cussing and eventually gets herself kicked out. Afterwards, one of the restaurant’s workers comes up to me.)

    Worker: “Sorry about that.”

    Me: “It’s okay!”

    Worker: “Best Doctor?”

    Me: “Four, duh!”

    (We then high five, and I go my way.)

    Putting The ‘R’ Into Refund

    | Largo, FL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working the box office with my manager. A large group of teenage girls dressed like they are going to a club get their turn to purchase tickets.)

    Manager: “Make sure you ID them, and let them know if they sneak in, they won’t get a refund.”

    (I acknowledge the manager’s comment, and turn to the teenage girls.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [theater]; how may I help you?”

    Girl #1: “Can we have tickets to see [R-rated movie]?”

    Me: “Do you guys have ID?”

    Girl #1: “No.”

    Me: “Then I am afraid I can’t sell you the tickets. It’s company policy that you have proper ID to see R-rated movies.”

    (The girls walk away angry. They come back a few minutes later after waiting in line again.)

    Girl #1: “Can we have tickets to see [G-rated movie]?”

    Me: “Sure, your total will be $32. If you try to sneak into the movie you wanted before this one, you will not get a refund. Here are your tickets, enjoy!”

    Girl #2: “Why does everyone think we are trying to sneak into a d*** R-rated movie?!”

    Girl #3: “I don’t know, but it’s getting really ANNOYING!”

    (Not even ten minutes later, the girls come storming out of the theater and toss their tickets up on the counter.)

    Girl #3: “We need refunds for this movie.”

    Me: “Why do you need a refund for this movie?”

    Girl #3: “Because, it already started.”

    Me: “Actually, this movie doesn’t start for another ten minutes.”

    Girl #3: “Well, I, uh…”

    Me: “So why do you need a refund?”

    Girl #3: “Because the cop wouldn’t let us in the movie!”

    Me: “You mean the cop that is standing by the auditoriums that have the R-rated movies, that are on the complete opposite side of the theater that has the movie you bought tickets for?”

    (All four girls give dumbfounded looks.)

    Me: “I am sorry; I can’t give you a refund.”

    (The girls start making a scene. My manager walks over.)

    Manager: “Listen, my employee did her job. She told you she wasn’t going to give you a refund if you tried to sneak into a movie, and you did exactly what she told you not to do. Now, you have two options: you can leave the theater and take your attitudes elsewhere, or I can call the cops and have them remove you from the premises. Which will it be?”

    (The girls turn and storm off.)

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