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    Category: Movies & TV

    Outside Food, Inside Job

    | Manville, NJ, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s a busy night and, like almost every movie theater, we have a policy of no outside food or drinks. I’m ushering/taking tickets when a customer comes up to me with a large drink from another store. On busy nights the managers are always walking about and keeping a sharp eye on the lobby.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; you can’t bring that in. You have to finish it in the lobby or throw it out.”

    Customer: “But it’s tea. I’m sick.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I still can’t let you in with it.”

    Customer: “Says who?”

    (I point to the sign in front of me.)

    Me: “It’s our policy.”

    Customer: “Well, I talked to the manager, and he said it was okay that I can bring it in.”

    (My manager, who is right behind me, suddenly turns around.)

    Manager: “Hi, I’m the manager. It’s nice to meet you.”

    (The customer looks shocked, goes silent, throws the tea out, and ignores me when I let her in.)

    Aging Badly

    | Exeter, England, UK | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a cinema. One evening on my break, I see my husband’s 13-year-old cousin hanging around outside. I have a feeling that she’s trying to get into a 15-rated film, so when I go back on shift, I tell everybody else I know she’s under 15. She eventually goes to my manager’s till, so I go over.)

    Me: “Don’t sell her a ticket to Silent Hill. She’s my husband’s cousin; I know she’s 13.”

    Manager: “Okay, thanks.”

    (My cousin approaches. She doesn’t seem to recognize me.)

    Cousin: “I’d like tickets for Silent Hill, please.”

    Manager: “I’m afraid you cannot get a ticket for the film. You are not over 15.”

    Cousin: “What the f***?! I’m f****** 15; don’t f****** listen to her! What the f*** does she know? I want to watch the f****** film!”

    Manager: “You’re not old enough to watch it; we know you’re not. Can you move to the side, so I can serve someone else?”

    Cousin: “F*** you! You don’t know s***! I’m watching the f****** film!”

    (My manager goes to my cousin’s friends, who are waiting to the side.)

    Manager: “I’m happy for you guys to watch the film; you’ve got your ID with you, so it’s fine. Your friend can’t watch the film because she’s not old enough.” *to my husband’s cousin* “I’m asking you to leave, and to stop swearing.”

    Cousin: “I’m not f****** swearing!”

    Manager: “Or I can call the police to have you removed? Choice is yours.”

    (She hasn’t stepped foot in the cinema since. That Christmas, she came round to my husband’s parents’ house while we were there. As soon as she saw me, she practically fled the room, because the penny finally dropped!)

    Stark Raving Mad

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (An older customer walks in very quickly and glares at me.)

    Me: “Good morning!”

    Customer:What does ‘winter is coming’ mean?!”

    (The customer is referring to our ‘Game Of Thrones’ themed red-wine window.)

    Me: “Oh! It’s the tagline, sort of, to a very popular series of books and TV show.”

    Customer: “Well, you should be shot in the head with a small derringer. It should read, ‘autumn is here, winter is near.’”

    Me: “Well, it’s a pop culture reference and has been very successful for us. I’m not sure what your intention is, coming in here and telling me I should be shot.”

    Customer: “WELL DO YOU ONLY SELL WINE TO TRENDY PEOPLE?! I OWN AN ADVERTISING AGENCY! I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU!” *storms out*

    Worshiping A Vengeful God

    | Waco, TX, USA | Money, Movies & TV, Religion

    (At our theater, matinee ends at 6 pm, and 3D movies cost $2.50 more than regular ones. It’s about 5:50 pm and I’m selling tickets for a 6pm showing.)

    Customer: “Well, I’d like two for The Avengers.”

    Me: “Alright, the 6 pm is in 3D; is that okay?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s why we’re watching the 6 pm one!”

    Me: “Fantastic. Any student or military IDs for a discount today?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Well, for two tickets that’s $19.”

    Customer: “FOR TWO TICKETS? That’s ridiculous! I thought this place was supposed to be cheap; what am I even paying for?”

    (I’ve zoned out, and just grab his glasses when his wife cuts in.)

    Customer’s Wife: *over her still-ranting husband* “Ignore him. He’s had a bad day. Here’s a twenty.”

    (I finish their transaction and someone walks up to them and greets the man.)

    Other Customer: “Oh, hey Pastor!”

    Little Pony, Big Problem

    | USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I always try to make conversation with the customers, especially the kids. I notice that the young daughter of the family I’m ringing up is wearing a shirt bearing a picture of Fluttershy, one of the ponies from the new ‘My Little Pony’ cartoon.)

    Me: “I like your shirt, sweetheart! That’s Fluttershy, huh? Fluttershy’s my favorite pony!”

    (The little girl glares at me.)

    Me: “Is something wrong?”

    Girl: *crying* “You can’t have Fluttershy for your favorite, because Fluttershy is my favoritest pony ever, in the whole wide world! I like her way more than you could ever ever ever, and she’s my pony pal, not yours! I love Fluttershy, so you CAN’T!”

    Me: “Oh… uhm, can I say Pinkie Pie is my favorite then?”

    Girl: *sniffling, wiping her eyes* “Yeah. You can have Pinkie Pie.”

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