Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
    (2,374 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Movies & TV

    To Term A Contradiction

    | Nashville, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Books & Reading, Movies & TV

    (My coworker and I are discussing our avid distaste for the ‘Twilight’ books.)

    Me: “I mean… even if you look past the story line, the syntax is poor, and the vocabulary redundant. I don’t understand how it even qualifies as literature.”

    Coworker: “I know. What’s to gain from even reading it?”

    (A customer approaches, and I take her order. As I’m loading a box of plain glazed donuts for her, I suddenly notice a teenage girl standing at the other end of the counter. She looks quite shy as she waits for assistance. She’s wearing a shirt that I can’t help but admire aloud.)

    Me: “‘…and then Buffy staked Edward. The end.’ I love your shirt!”

    Teenage Girl: *shyly* “…thank you!”

    Me: “My coworker and I were just making fun of that series… what a coincidence!”

    Teenage Girl: *nodding enthusiastically* “I know! I like, totally love Buffy! But I like, totally love Twilight, too!”

    (I feel my smile freeze in place, and politely refrain from commenting further. The girl continues to chatter on about the vastly different vampire series.)

    Teenage Girl: “And I like, totally have this Cullen jacket and some jewelry… and I wore them with this shirt last week and I was, like… all… opposite-y…”

    Me: *smile still frozen in place* “I see…”

    (I finish the other customer’s donut order and ring her up. The teenager doesn’t take the hint and continues to wax poetic about her conflicting interests, trying to hold my attention. My coworker, who has been present for the whole exchange, assists the teenage girl with her order for cookies. After both customers leave, I turn to my coworker.)

    Coworker: “‘Opposite-y?’”

    Me: “I think the word she was looking for was ‘contradiction.’”

    Coworker: “Let’s blame Meyers for that.”

    Me: “Case in point. Not much of a lexicon.”

    I Gotta Ticket To Hide

    | Lansdale, PA, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Wild & Unruly

    (I enter a movie theater when there is only one other customer at the counter.)

    Customer: “Hey, can I get a ticket to Insidious 2?”

    Cashier: “That’s [price].”

    Customer: “Okay.” *looks in purse* “I have three quarters.”

    Cashier: “Sorry, can’t allow you.”

    Customer: “No! You said I could go in; you WILL let me!”

    Cashier: “No, you don’t have enough; I wasn’t to know.”

    Customer: “You’ll sell me that ticket!”

    Cashier: “I can’t; it’s against policy.”

    (The customer walks outside.)

    Me: “I’d like a ticket to Justin and the Knights of Valor.”

    Cashier: “Sure.”

    (I pay and go to the ticket inspector. Before I know what has happened, the customer has run back in, snatches my ticket, rushes past the ticket inspector and runs towards the ‘Insidious’ theater. The ticket inspector and I run after and enter the theater, where commercials are still playing.)

    Me: “Hey! That was my ticket!”

    Ticket Inspector: “Give him back his ticket, please.”

    Customer: “No! His ticket wasn’t ripped!” *shows ticket* “This one is.”

    Ticket Inspector: “That’s because you STOLE his ticket. Give it back.”

    Customer: “Piss off!”

    Ticket Inspector: “Give it back or I’m getting security.”

    Other Moviegoer: “Just give the d*** thing back!”

    (Others in the theater are agreeing.)

    Customer: “No. It’s mine, and you can’t prove it’s yours. You’re just a silly little boy and you think you can get what you want.”

    Ticket Inspector: *on radio* “Could security please come to screen three?”

    (At this point, the customer begins eating the ticket. The inspector tries ripping it from her hands, but she has already eaten most of it.)

    Customer: “Can’t prove it now!”

    (Security came and took her away. The ticket inspector apologized for her behavior and gave me my money back.)

    Outside Food, Inside Job

    | Manville, NJ, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s a busy night and, like almost every movie theater, we have a policy of no outside food or drinks. I’m ushering/taking tickets when a customer comes up to me with a large drink from another store. On busy nights the managers are always walking about and keeping a sharp eye on the lobby.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; you can’t bring that in. You have to finish it in the lobby or throw it out.”

    Customer: “But it’s tea. I’m sick.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I still can’t let you in with it.”

    Customer: “Says who?”

    (I point to the sign in front of me.)

    Me: “It’s our policy.”

    Customer: “Well, I talked to the manager, and he said it was okay that I can bring it in.”

    (My manager, who is right behind me, suddenly turns around.)

    Manager: “Hi, I’m the manager. It’s nice to meet you.”

    (The customer looks shocked, goes silent, throws the tea out, and ignores me when I let her in.)

    Aging Badly

    | Exeter, England, UK | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a cinema. One evening on my break, I see my husband’s 13-year-old cousin hanging around outside. I have a feeling that she’s trying to get into a 15-rated film, so when I go back on shift, I tell everybody else I know she’s under 15. She eventually goes to my manager’s till, so I go over.)

    Me: “Don’t sell her a ticket to Silent Hill. She’s my husband’s cousin; I know she’s 13.”

    Manager: “Okay, thanks.”

    (My cousin approaches. She doesn’t seem to recognize me.)

    Cousin: “I’d like tickets for Silent Hill, please.”

    Manager: “I’m afraid you cannot get a ticket for the film. You are not over 15.”

    Cousin: “What the f***?! I’m f****** 15; don’t f****** listen to her! What the f*** does she know? I want to watch the f****** film!”

    Manager: “You’re not old enough to watch it; we know you’re not. Can you move to the side, so I can serve someone else?”

    Cousin: “F*** you! You don’t know s***! I’m watching the f****** film!”

    (My manager goes to my cousin’s friends, who are waiting to the side.)

    Manager: “I’m happy for you guys to watch the film; you’ve got your ID with you, so it’s fine. Your friend can’t watch the film because she’s not old enough.” *to my husband’s cousin* “I’m asking you to leave, and to stop swearing.”

    Cousin: “I’m not f****** swearing!”

    Manager: “Or I can call the police to have you removed? Choice is yours.”

    (She hasn’t stepped foot in the cinema since. That Christmas, she came round to my husband’s parents’ house while we were there. As soon as she saw me, she practically fled the room, because the penny finally dropped!)

    Stark Raving Mad

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (An older customer walks in very quickly and glares at me.)

    Me: “Good morning!”

    Customer:What does ‘winter is coming’ mean?!”

    (The customer is referring to our ‘Game Of Thrones’ themed red-wine window.)

    Me: “Oh! It’s the tagline, sort of, to a very popular series of books and TV show.”

    Customer: “Well, you should be shot in the head with a small derringer. It should read, ‘autumn is here, winter is near.’”

    Me: “Well, it’s a pop culture reference and has been very successful for us. I’m not sure what your intention is, coming in here and telling me I should be shot.”

    Customer: “WELL DO YOU ONLY SELL WINE TO TRENDY PEOPLE?! I OWN AN ADVERTISING AGENCY! I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU!” *storms out*

    Page 11/33First...910111213...Last