Featured Story:
  • Never Too Late (Or Early) To Apologize
    (2,336 thumbs up)
  • January Theme Of The Month: Prank Calls!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Movies & TV

    Rated Immature

    | NY, USA | Movies & TV, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (The video store I work at has a ‘back room’ installed and most people call to double check that, yes, we do rent adult videos.)

    Caller: “Hey, I’ve got a list of titles and I wanted to know if you have them for rent.”

    Me: “Sure, go ahead.”

    Caller: “All right. Deep Throat?” *background giggling*

    Me: *checks* “Nope, we don’t carry that one.”

    Caller: “Darn, my niece will be so disappointed.” *more giggling*

    (I’m not fazed by this stuff by this point, so I keep going since it isn’t busy.)

    Me: “Any others?”

    Caller: “Ha ha, yeah… Debbie Does Dallas?”

    Me: *checks* “Well the first one is rented out, but the second and fifth ones are in stock.”

    Caller: “Wait, really?”

    Me: *confused* “Yeah, really.”

    Caller: “You guys ACTUALLY rent porn?”

    Me: “Yeah… We have a whole section in the back of the store.”

    Caller: “Wow, REALLY? All right, I’ll be in later then. Wait, wait… Do you have newer stuff?”

    Me: “Yeah, the older titles are mostly just the really famous ones.”

    Caller: “Awesome. That call went a lot better than I thought it would.”

    (He turned out to be a repeat customer.)

    The Luxury Of Name-Dropping

    | Birmingham, MI, USA | Funny Names, Movies & TV

    (I am the manager at a local palladium. There are 12 theatres. Two of them are bigger and the chairs are more comfy so there is an extra $1 fee per ticket for them. It says outside and inside the palladium when the movie times are for the luxury theatres.)

    Customer: “Five tickets for [luxury show].”

    Me: “Okay your total will be $40.”

    Customer: “Wait I thought it was just $35.”

    Me: Well, normally it would be, but that movie is playing in the luxury theatres so it is an extra dollar fee per ticket.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not paying for that! That is outrageous! I don’t care where I sit but I’m not paying the extra money! You’re trying to rip me off, aren’t you! I know your manager and I want to see him right now!”

    Me: “Sir, I am sorry to inform you but that would be me and I do not recognize you.”

    Customer: “You should do! We had a long conversation and everything!”

    (I flip my nametag around and say:)

    Me: “Sir, if you can tell me my name, I will wave the extra fee for you, and please do it fast because you are holding up the line.”

    Customer: *pauses* “I’ll just pay the extra money…”

    Me: “Thank you. Have a nice time.”

    Not A Regular Response

    | TX, USA | Health & Body, Movies & TV

    (I’m at the ticket booth ordering my ticket for the movie. I happen to be 57 years old.)

    Me: “One for [Movie], please.”

    Ticketer: “Senior or regular?”

    Me: “Uh, ummm… uh… regular.”

    Ticketer: “Seven dollars, please.”

    Me: “You know, when you ask a senior if he’s regular that has a different meaning. I may be a senior but I’m regular.”

    Ticketer: *smiles*

    My Little-Minded Brony

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (It’s my day off so I go to the toy shop where I work with my eight-year-old niece. She’s a huge fan of ‘My Little Pony,’ so we’re off looking at toys. Two men are already there, talking about the show. My niece is pretty social, so she tries to strike up a conversation while I eye the display.)

    Niece: “Ooh, you like My Little Pony, too?! Who’s your favourite? I love Fluttershy; she’s so pretty and kind. That’s how I want to be when I grow up.”

    Man #1: “You’re a fan, huh? I guess you’ve got all the merchandise then?”

    Niece: “Merch… an… dise?”

    Man #2: “The toys and stuff. Don’t you have any?”

    Niece: “Oh… yeah! I got some for my birthday!”

    Man #1: “So you probably know the names of all the main characters, then?”

    Niece: *lists characters*

    Man #2: “What about the episode names?”

    Niece: “Um…”

    Man #1: “Don’t you know them?”

    (I’m starting to get quite annoyed.)

    Me: “What are you doing?”

    (They both give me defensive looks.)

    Man #1: “Nothing!”

    Man #2: “We just wanted to know if she’s a real fan or one of those fake geek girls.”

    Man #1: “She can’t even name the episodes.”

    Man #2: “Bet she hasn’t even watched them all.”

    (My niece is starting to get upset, so I lose all patience.)

    Me:” Are you serious? All it takes to be a fan is for someone to like and enjoy something. Where do you get off acting so smug because you know more about a show for little girls than its intended audience?”

    Man #1: “Are you saying men can’t like stuff for girls? That’s sexist!”

    Me: “Sexist?! I’m not the one spewing misogynistic nonsense at a child simply because they can’t pass some pointless memory test. You obviously haven’t learned much, since the TV show is all about friendship and treating people with respect! Now, shove off or grow up!”

    (They storm off. I turn round to see my manager watching me.)

    Me: “Am I fired?”

    Manager: “You’re not in uniform; they don’t know you work here. Besides, if someone talked to my kids like that, I’d knock them out.”

    (My niece cheered up after a while, and I bought her some new ‘merchandise’. I hope those men went home and watched the show again, and maybe took its message to heart this time.)

    In Good Companion Company

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (I have two piercings in each ear and am wearing some very geeky earrings. Customers keep commenting on one pair, Nintendo controllers, but are confused as to what the other pair is. Until a young girl, who is maybe six, comes in with her mom.)

    Little Girl: *wide eyed* “Is that a Tardis!?”

    Me: *smiling* “Yes, it is! No one has figured it out all day.”

    Little Girl: *excitedly* “Does that mean you’re the Doctor?!” *to her mom* “Is the Doctor a girl now?!”

    Mom: *sternly* “No, the Doctor isn’t a girl.”

    Little Girl: *sadly* “Oh…”

    Mom: *brightly* “But that just means she’s his companion!”

    Little Girl: “OH!” *grins* “Yeah! The Doctor does like gingers, doesn’t he?”

    Me: *putting a finger to my lips* “Shh! Don’t tell anyone my secret!”

    Little Girl: “Okay!”

    (After her mom pays for their things, the little girl turns and waves before they leave.)

    Little Girl: “By Miss the Doctor’s Companion! Beware the Daleks!”

    (Best customers ever!)

    Page 1/3512345...Last