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    Category: Money

    Riding In On Blazing Saddles

    | Marlborough, MA, USA | Money, Movies & TV

    (A man comes into my store looking a bit irate. He pulls out an unwrapped DVD case of Mel Brooks’ “History of the World, Part I.”)

    Customer: “I’d like to return this and get my money back!”

    Me: “Was there something wrong with it?”

    Customer: “I opened it up and there was no disc inside!”

    (I open the DVD case to indeed find no disc inside.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t refund your money. This is something you’d need to take up with the manufacturer. This does happen rarely, but I can help get the contact info for the manufacturer if you’d like.”

    Customer: “What!? Are you serious!? I want to talk to a manager!”

    (My manager comes over and explains the same thing to him, how it’s outside of our policy to refund an item if there is no item to refund. The customer finally accepts this, but is livid.)

    Customer: “Fine! Well, do you have History of the World, Part II then?”

    Me: “Um… sir, that movie doesn’t exist.”

    Customer: “Yes it does! I saw it once!”

    Manager: “No, sir. There is a fake trailer at the end of History of the World, Part I. The one with Hitler ice skating.”

    Customer: “Yeah! That’s the one! Where is it!?”

    Manager: “Sir, like we already told you, it was fake. There is no History of the World, Part II.”

    Customer: *storms out*

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16

    | ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss? I’d like a $20 iTunes card, but there are none here.”

    Me: “Oh, yes. Unfortunately we haven’t received that shipment yet. But we do have the $10 cards.”

    Customer: *frustrated* “But I want a $20 card.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, you could always buy two $10 cards instead.”

    Customer: *yelling* “That doesn’t equal 20 dollars!” *storms out of the store*

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    All You Can Eat, Not You Can Eat All

    | MI, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a buffet restaurant, mostly serving pizza. The customers pay at the register when they come in.)

    Customer: “Can I get a to-go box for my leftovers?”

    Me: “Well, you have to pay extra for anything you want to take with you.”

    Customer: “Why? I already paid at the door when I came in so this is my pizza on the table. Why do I have to pay more for it?”

    Me: “Because the buffet price is only for what you eat here. We can’t afford for people to eat here and take food home with them for another meal.”

    Customer: “I’m not stealing if that’s what you’re trying to say!”

    Me: “Ma’am, are you full? Are you finished eating?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Then you have had all you can eat. That’s all you paid for.”

    Trying To Inspire Change

    | Europe | Money

    (At our gas station, you can either fill first and pay with cash inside, or use a credit card at the pumps. A customer stomps into the station and glares at me.)

    Me: “Hi!”

    Customer: *glaring continues*

    (I assume he is there to pay for his gas. It happens all the time that the customers expect me to know this without them saying anything.)

    Me: “How can I help you today?”

    Customer: *still glaring*

    Me: “Alright, pump 5, is it? That will be $23.50, please.”

    (The customer sighs loudly, whips out his wallet, and begins to furiously go through his cash. He then throws a 20 at me before finally speaking.)

    Customer: “Well, I don’t have that much!”

    Me: “Oh, do you happen to have a credit card perhaps?”

    Customer: “NO!”

    (For a few seconds we stand there staring at one another. I can tell that this situation won’t get any better.)

    Me: “…You know what, I’ll just pay the rest for you.”

    Customer: *turns and stomps out in a huff*


    A Sad Sign Of The Times

    | SK, Canada | Money, Top, Transportation

    (At the gas station where I work, all electronic payment methods are currently offline. To combat this, we have numerous 8×11 signs that say “DEBIT AND CREDIT DOWN! CASH ONLY PLEASE!” A customer comes in to pay for gas and pulls out his credit card.)

    Me: “Sorry, that card isn’t going to work. Our debit and credit systems are down.”

    Customer: “Well why aren’t there any signs telling me this?”

    Me: “There are three signs on every gas pump, including the one you were on. There are four on the door you opened to get in here. There are two on the counter that you currently have your hands on, and there are four more on the glass window I’m currently talking to you through.”

    (The customer goes silent, realizing that he’s just missed seeing 13 signs. This happens five more times in the next 20 minutes with other customers, so I’m forced to resort to going on the intercom with every gas customer after that. Before allowing them to get fuel, I ask if they are paying with cash, with an alarming number of people all saying ‘No’, with one notable exception.)

    Me: *over the intercom* “Pump number 4, are you paying with cash?”

    Customer: “Yes, I can read the signs all over the pumps.” *laughs*

    Me: “Ha ha, nice! Apparently most people can’t. ”

    Customer: “Oh, I know. I’ve worked with the public before. I get scared sharing the road with these people!”

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