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    Category: Money

    Transactions For Dummies

    | Florida, USA | Money

    (I am working the register at a well-known video game store, when a customer approaches with a stack of games and his son.)

    Me: “That will be $87.96.”

    Customer: “Here.” *gives me a gift card worth $25*

    Me: *processes gift card* “Your balance is $62.96.”

    Customer: “What do you I do now?”

    Me: “You give me more money.”

    Customer: “Oh, sorry. I have never been here before…”

    Gift Cards, Derp, Derpa, Gift Cards

    | Medford, OR, USA | Money

    (The phone rings and it is a customer wanting to know about gift cards. We are running a promotion where if you buy $100, you get a $25 bonus card.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Are you doing something with gift cards?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (I explain the promotion.)

    Caller: “How much is a good amount for two people to eat?”

    Me: “A $50 gift card would probably cover two people.”

    Caller: “Well, I need to buy them for two separate couples, so I will need $400 in gift cards. What do I get?”

    Me: *ignoring the incorrect math* “You would get four $25 bonus cards.”

    Caller: “What?”

    Me: “For every $100 you spend, you get an extra $25 dollar gift card.”

    Caller: “For what? What do I do?”

    Me: “What is your question exactly?”

    Caller: “I don’t know! You’re the one who said something about gift cards!”

    If It Don’t Make Dollars, It Don’t Make Sense, Part 2

    | Michigan, USA | Money

    Customer: “Can I have a pack of [brand] cigarettes?”

    Me: “Sure, that’s $5.51.”

    Customer: “Are these the dollar-off ones?”

    (I look behind me. There are no dollar-off deals right now.)

    Me: “No, sorry, there’s no sale on that kind.”

    Customer: “That sign says ‘Save 30 cents on two packs.’”

    Me: “Yeah, but you have to buy two packs.”

    Customer: “Then will I save a dollar?”

    Me: “No, you’d save thirty cents.”

    Customer: “Why wouldn’t I save a dollar?”

    Me: “Because the sale is for thirty cents?”

    Customer: “Oh, okay…”

    Related:
    If It Don’t Make Dollars, It Don’t Make Sense

    Something For Nothing Or Nothing For Something, Part 2

    , | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Top

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like a refund on [membership]. I never used it.”

    Me: “No problem! Actually, I’m looking at your account here and it looks like you tried to buy it, but at the time, your credit card failed and so you never actually purchased it.”

    Customer: “But I don’t have it.”

    Me: “I know. It looks like you never bought it in the first place. I’m sorry about that.”

    Customer: “But I don’t have it and I was never able to use it. So you’re not going to refund me?”

    Me: “I can’t–”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you’re refusing to refund me!”

    Me: “I can’t refund you because you didn’t buy anything.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Just put the money back on my card!”

    Me: “I can’t put money back on your card because we never took any off.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you’re refusing to refund me! This is terrible customer service.”

    Me: “Sir, you never bought anything. How can I give you back money we never took from you? Where would the money come from?”

    Customer: “Just give it to me! Why is this so hard?”

    Me: “Okay, can you look at your credit card and tell me the exact date that we charged you? If it turns out that your records are more correct than mine, I’m happy to refund you.”

    Customer: “No! I’m not going to do that! Why should I check my credit card statement!?”

    Me: “According to our records, you never bought anything. I can’t give you back money that you didn’t spend. If our records are wrong, I can refund you.”

    Customer: “I’m not going to check anything! This is the worst customer service experience I have ever had! I can’t believe you’re giving me such a hard time over such a small amount of money!”

    Me: “Actually, I’m giving you such a hard time over no money because you never bought anything.”

    Customer: “Let me speak to your manager!”

    Related:
    Something For Nothing Or Nothing For Something

    A Debt Of Debts

    | Wisconsin, USA | Money

    (We have a store credit card which you can pay at any register. I am working in customer service and an older lady approaches.)

    Me: “How may I help you today?”

    Customer: *shoves her bill towards me* “I just want to pay this ALL off! I told my daughter, I don’t want to owe anything! I just HATE to owe!”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am. Let me just process this payment for you.”

    Customer: *writing a check* “Yes, I just can’t OWE all this money. I don’t like it!”

    Me: “Well, here we go. It’s all taken care of! Now you don’t owe anything.”

    Customer: “I forgot to ask. Can I purchase a gift card here?”

    Me: “Certainly. I can help you with that!” *starts to ring up gift card*

    Customer: “Now, can I put that on my [store] card?”

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