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    Category: Money

    Priciness Is No Object

    | Carmarthen, Wales, UK | Money

    (One day, a well-dressed customer walks into the store. She asks me for a pair of boots for a well known hiking area.)

    Me: “Well, these boots are light and flexible. They’re made with gore-tex to enable your feet to breathe.”

    Customer: “How much do they cost?”

    Me: “They are [price].”

    Customer: “Do you have anything more expensive?”

    Me: *shows her another pair* “Well, these are our most expensive pair at [price].”

    Customer: “They’re not expensive enough! My friend’s pair cost MUCH more than that, and I MUST have a pair more expensive than her!” *turns and storms out the door*

    America The Buttonful

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | Money

    (I work for an insurance company that offers several different auto-pay options. Many people choose to use their routing and account numbers, which means a break on installment fees. We can stop or postpone extractions, but, we need three to five business days notice.)

    Customer: “Hi, my payment’s coming out tomorrow and the money’s not in the account. I need it to be postponed.”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am, but it looks like the debit tape has been sent to the bank. Once that happens, it’s an automated transaction that I cannot cancel or postpone.

    Customer: ”What do you mean, you can’t postpone it? This is America! You CAN and WILL postpone it!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry. I’d recommend checking with your bank. They may be able to stop the transaction. A non-sufficient funds fee may be applied to your account on our end, though. Generally, we need three to five days notice to postpone these transactions.”

    Customer: “NO, THIS IS AMERICA! All you have to do is press a button or flip a switch or something!”

    Selective Comprehension

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (I work for a large, upscale retailer. One night, I’m assisting a lady with several items.)

    Me: “Alright, ma’am, your total is [price].”

    Customer: “I believe those are all supposed to be 40% off.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, these are all regular price.”

    Customer: “No, I believe everything is 40% off.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, there may be a sale like that upstairs in the Ladies’ area, but we don’t have any discounts like that here in Men’s.”

    Customer: “Well, there’s a sign in your front windows that says everything’s 40% off!”

    Me: “Well, perhaps I’m mistaken. Would you mind showing me where you saw that?”

    (She leads me out the front door of our store and points to a large sign in the window.)

    Customer: “See? 40% off!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but it says 40% off ‘Selected Items.’”

    Customer: “Right! And these are the items I’ve selected!”

    Half-A-Brains Don’t Have A Heart

    | Liverpool, England, UK | Money

    (I work at a charity shop. We often get customers trying to get items for less through a variety of methods, such as finding problems with items or comparing our prices to other stores.)

    Customer #1: “Oi!”

    (I look around and see three men by the men’s shoes.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer #2: “These shoes are a size 8 and they’re marked as a size 10!”

    Me: “Sorry about that. I’ll retag them.”

    (The three customers look at each other and give a nasty laugh.)

    Customer #1: “So, since you messed up, can I have these shoes for half price?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but I can’t change the prices.”

    Customer #1: “Well, I can!”

    (The three customers give a nasty laugh again. I decide to leave them. They then walk over to my coworker at the till.)

    Customer #3: “Oi, love, we’re having these shoes for half price.”

    Coworker: “I’m very sorry, but I don’t have the authority to change the prices.”

    Customer #1: “Go on, just cut the price.”

    Coworker: “I can’t do that. And, besides, all the money goes to charity.”

    Customer #1: “Screw charity! I want these shoes for half price!”

    Not Paying At-Ten-tion

    | Canberra, Australia | Money

    (I work in a bookshop and we are having a sale. Everything is $10, and there are signs and tags everywhere.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, how much is this?”

    Me: “Everything in store is $10.”

    Customer: “So, how much is this?”

    Me: “$10.”

    Customer: (picks up another book) “…and this?”

    Me: “$10.”

    Customer: “That can’t be right. It’s too cheap!”

    Me: “I assure you it is. We’re having a sale. Everything is $10.”

    Customer: “Oh, great!”

    (The customer picks up another book with a big $10 sticker on the front.)

    Customer: “So, how much is this one?”

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