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    Category: Money

    Fool Service

    | Ontario, Canada | Money

    Customer: “How much is it to blow this picture up to 10×12?”

    Me: “Well, it would have go to onto 11×17 paper, so there would be a $3 service charge, and then copies would be—”

    Customer: “I didn’t pay $3 last time!”

    Me: “Oh, so you left it with us for longer than an hour? Then it will be a $2 service charge—”

    Customer: “No! I didn’t pay $3 or $2 last time! They blew it up for me and it was only $1!”

    Me: “They did it for you for only $1? The only way you could have paid that price is if you did it in self-serve.”

    Customer: “Yes! We did it in self serve! There was no $3 fee!”

    Me: “Right, self-serve doesn’t have a fee, because you are doing it yourself.”

    Customer: “But I want YOU to do it for me.”

    Me: “Well, if you want me to do it for you, then I would have to do it in full-serve and charge you the $3.”

    Customer: “I didn’t pay no service charge last time!”

    Me: “Because you did it in self-serve.”

    Customer: “Ya! I want to do it there again!”

    Me: “Okay, I’m sorry. I thought you said that you wanted me to do it for you?”

    Customer: “Yes! Do it for me in self-serve!”

    Me: “Well, I can’t do it for you in self-serve. I can certainly show you how it works, but I can’t go out and just do it for you.”

    Customer: “Why not?!”

    Me: “Because it’s self-serve. I can definitely help, or answer questions, but if you don’t want to do it at all, I have to do it in full-serve.”

    Customer: “But I want you to do it in self-serve!”

    Chide Should Go Before The Fall

    | Israel | Family & Kids, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (A kid is running around with a toy gun until he falls down and breaks it. His mother grabs it and approaches me.)

    Mother: “I would like another one of this.”

    Me: “No problem, but I need you to pay for the one you broke.”

    Mother: “That’s insane! He broke it in your store! That means it’s your responsibility!”

    (I point to a huge sign behind me that says, ‘You Break It, You Buy It.’ I have never seen anyone run that fast!)

    It Pays To Be Patient

    | Calgary, Canada | Awesome Customers, Money, Technology, Top

    (I am a waitress. One of my customers has just finished eating and is using a debit card to pay for his meal. The machine automatically includes a step giving the option to include a tip.)

    Customer: “I don’t understand technology. This machine isn’t working. It won’t let me leave a tip!”

    (The machine clearly gives three options: Leave a tip in a dollar amount, a percentage amount, or skip the tip.)

    Me: “Well, sir, you have three choices: a dollar amount, a percentage amount, or no tip. To choose one, press the button directly underneath it on the screen, and the machine will take you to the next step.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay!”

    (He proceeds to type in a dollar amount, but the machine does nothing since he has not chosen the dollar option.)

    Customer: “It still doesn’t work! They made this machine far too difficult to use!”

    Me: “Okay, well, I’ll just explain your options to you again…”

    (This time, I physically point to each of the three buttons as I explain the difference between the three options.)

    Customer: “Oh, okay!”

    (He again proceeds to type a dollar amount without choosing an option.)

    Customer: “The machine doesn’t work!”

    Me: “Okay, sir, if you want to add a tip as a dollar amount, press the first button there labelled ‘$’. The machine will take you to the next step, and then you can enter the amount you wish to leave.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay!”

    (He still doesn’t get it. I end up explaining about 7 more times until he finally pushes the button to proceed to the next step.)

    Customer: “Oh… well, that was easy! I don’t know why it took so long for me to understand that. Thank you for being so patient. I’m going to leave you $1 for every time you had to explain it to me!”

    (He ended up leaving me a $10 tip. His meal had only amounted to $25. Definitely one of the best customers I’ve had!)

    From Penny Foolish To Pound Wise

    | UK | Money

    (I work in a well-known UK pound store. A middle-aged customer and her teenage daughter walk up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me. How much is this?” *holds up item*

    Me: “It’s £1; everything here is £1.”

    (I smile kindly, nodding towards the 20-foot sign hanging on the wall for all to see.)

    Customer: “Oh, wonderful! Thank you very much!”

    Me: “No problem!”

    (No less than 5 seconds later, she calls to me again.)

    Customer: “Oh, excuse me! How much is this?”

    Me: “It’s £1. Everything is £1.”

    (The customer’s daughter covers her face.)

    Customer: “Are you sure dear? Maybe you should check…”

    Me: “I don’t need to madam; I know it’s £1. Everything here is.”

    (Not believing me, the customer huffs, asks another member of staff, and gets the same answer.)

    Customer: “Well, that seems cheap.”

    Customer’s Daughter: “For god’s sake, mum, that’s the point! It’s a POUND SHOP! EVERYTHING IS £1!”

    Customer: “Well, they should put up a sign and make it more clear!”

    (Simultaneously, her daughter, my colleague, and I all point at the giant sign.)

    Customer: “That’s not clear! You should make it CLEAR!”

    (The customer turns and stomps off.)

    Customer’s Daughter: “I’m not taking her anywhere again.”

    (Two weeks later, the same customer returns. This time, another customer is asking me a similar question about pricing.)

    Another Customer: *to me* “How much is this?”

    Customer: *jumps in* “It’s £1! Everything is £1!” *huffs* “Some people are SO stupid!”

    The Only Place You’ll Be Driven Is Crazy

    | Macon, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Money, Transportation

    (I’m on the phone with a customer. I can hear kids running around and screaming in the background.)

    Customer: “I talked to the man earlier. He said y’all do cars for five hundred down?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What’s y’all… hold on a sec… *she yells at the kids making noise in the background* “QUIT THAT! I’M ON THE F***ING PHONE!” *back to me* “What do y’all need from me?”

    Me: “Well, we ask for a pay stub as proof of income, a copy of your driver’s license, and some references.”

    Customer: “Well, I do a daycare out of my home. That’s my job. Is that okay?”

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