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    Category: Money

    Better Late Than Clever, Part 2

    | Melbourne, Australia | Family & Kids, Money

    (A kid of 11 or 12 approaches the ticket sales counter.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Kid: “Can I have a ticket for [movie]?”

    Me: “Which session time were you after?”

    Kid: “The one on now.”

    Me: “Okay, are you sure? This session has already started, and I think about 10 minutes into the actual film.”

    Kid: “No, that’s okay.”

    Me: “Alright, that’ll be [price].”

    Kid: “Can I get a discount?”

    Me: “What for?”

    Kid: “I missed some of my movie.”

    Me: “Um, you’re asking me for a discount because YOU turned up late to the movie?”

    Kid: “…Yeah.”

    Me: *shakes head*

    Kid: “Oh well, it was worth a try!”

    Related:
    Better Late Than Clever

    Please Pound Into Her Head We Don’t Use Dollars

    | UK | Money, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (A tourist in front of me just ordered a coffee.)

    Cashier: “That will be £6.10, please.”

    Tourist: *hands him two USD $5 bills*

    Cashier: “We only accept English sterling.”

    Tourist: “So, you don’t take dollar bills?”

    Cashier: “No, only English sterling.”

    Tourist: *to her husband* “I can’t believe it! They only accept English sterling!”

    Another Customer: “Well, it’s ENGLAND!”

    Don’t Tip Her Off

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

    Customer: “I’ll have my ciabatta loaf and a small latte.”

    Me: “That comes to $9.90.”

    (The customer hands me a $10 dollar bill, and I give her 10 cents change. Then, she produces her loyalty card. I see that she is up for a free coffee.)

    Me: “Oh, you’re due for your free coffee. I’ll give you some extra change back.” *I hand her the extra change*

    Customer: “No! I don’t want it! I don’t want the money!”

    Me: “But you’ve earned a free coffee.”

    Customer: “I come in here EVERY time and I order a ciabatta loaf and a coffee, and it comes to $9.90. I give you a $10 note, and I give you a 10 cent tip!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry… did you want to save your free coffee for another day? It’s alright. I can—”

    Customer: “No, it’s NOT alright! I didn’t want the free coffee! I don’t want it! You don’t get your 10 cent tip today!”

    Me: “Okay… well, I’ll just have to wear that.”

    Customer: “Stupid woman. You don’t get your 10 cent tip today!” *leaves*

    No Dime Or Reason

    | California, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    (I work at a store where every item is $1 or less. It’s an average Sunday afternoon when a woman wearing a nice dress and heels and her friend approach my register.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you? Did you find everything okay?”

    Customer #1: *eyes bulge as though she has been offended and glares at me.*

    (I shake it off and ring her up for $2.90 worth of merchandise. The woman then pays with a $100 bill. I carefully count out her $97 dollars to her, and hand her the 10 cents. At the last second, her hand overturns and the dime falls somewhere beneath the register. I try to find it, but can’t.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t find your dime. It might have fallen on your side of the register?”

    Customer #1: “You THREW change at me!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I didn’t throw anything. I’ll call up my manager and I can get you another dime from my till.”

    (I intercom my manager, who tells me she won’t come to the front because she’s on her break.)

    Customer #1: *clutches the $97* “I WANT MY MONEY!”

    (The couple behind her in line are watching with their mouths hanging open. The man mouths, “I’m sorry” to me and then speaks up.)

    Customer #2: “Here, ma’am. Here’s a quarter. You are holding up the line, so can you please go?”

    Customer #1: *to Customer #2* “I am SO sorry…” *points at me* “…SHE is horrible!”

    Customer #2: “Well, take my quarter.”

    Customer #1: “NO! I want MY dime!”

    Customer #1′s Friend: *to me* “Yes, miss, you need to apologize to her and give her the money!”

    (Customer #2 once again tries to get Customer #1 to take the quarter and leave. Finally, she storms out, stomping her feet the whole way.)

    Customer #2: “Wow… do you deal with this a lot?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, yes.”

    Customer #2′s Wife: “Hey look, I found a dime!”

    (My manager and I later reviewed the security video. In it, Customer #1 clearly turned over her hand and dropped the dime by her feet!)

    Price Check Yo Self

    | Oxford, ME, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (A man comes up to my register with a cart FULL of different brands and sizes of beer.)

    Customer #1: “Can you tell me the price for each one of these? I’m not sure which ones I want.”

    (Because of how many types of beer he has, I know this will take a long time and will hold up the line, so I try another approach.)

    Me: “The price for each one should have been listed on the shelf in front of them.”

    Customer #1: “Well, they weren’t!”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (The customer hands me them. I scan each one and tell him the price. As I expected, an unhappy line of customers has formed behind him due to how long it’s taking.)

    Me: “Which ones do you want?”

    Customer #1: *counts out a handful of change* “Hmm… do you have any for less than $1.17?”

    Me: “Uh, no. The 6-packs are the cheapest, and they’re all around $5 at least.”

    (The other customers waiting in line are fed up, and one finally speaks up.)

    Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “Wait a second! Let me get this straight! You had her check the price of all of that beer, making us all wait, and you have less than $2?!”

    Customer #1: “Well, not that it’s any of your business but… yes! It’s her job, after all!”

    Customer #2: “Why didn’t you stop her after the 6-packs? Those are obviously going to be cheaper than the larger packs!”

    Customer #1: “Not necessarily!”

    Customer #3: “Will you just get out of the way?”

    Other Customers: *yelling in agreement*

    (Customer #1 walks off. The rest of the customers in line help me load all the beer back into the cart and then return to the line.)

    Me: “I’m sorry that took so long everyone!”

    Customer #2: “Not your fault! You were just trying to provide good customer service! You didn’t know he was a moron!”

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