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    Category: Money

    Price Check Yo Self

    | Oxford, ME, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (A man comes up to my register with a cart FULL of different brands and sizes of beer.)

    Customer #1: “Can you tell me the price for each one of these? I’m not sure which ones I want.”

    (Because of how many types of beer he has, I know this will take a long time and will hold up the line, so I try another approach.)

    Me: “The price for each one should have been listed on the shelf in front of them.”

    Customer #1: “Well, they weren’t!”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (The customer hands me them. I scan each one and tell him the price. As I expected, an unhappy line of customers has formed behind him due to how long it’s taking.)

    Me: “Which ones do you want?”

    Customer #1: *counts out a handful of change* “Hmm… do you have any for less than $1.17?”

    Me: “Uh, no. The 6-packs are the cheapest, and they’re all around $5 at least.”

    (The other customers waiting in line are fed up, and one finally speaks up.)

    Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “Wait a second! Let me get this straight! You had her check the price of all of that beer, making us all wait, and you have less than $2?!”

    Customer #1: “Well, not that it’s any of your business but… yes! It’s her job, after all!”

    Customer #2: “Why didn’t you stop her after the 6-packs? Those are obviously going to be cheaper than the larger packs!”

    Customer #1: “Not necessarily!”

    Customer #3: “Will you just get out of the way?”

    Other Customers: *yelling in agreement*

    (Customer #1 walks off. The rest of the customers in line help me load all the beer back into the cart and then return to the line.)

    Me: “I’m sorry that took so long everyone!”

    Customer #2: “Not your fault! You were just trying to provide good customer service! You didn’t know he was a moron!”

    Self-Fooling Prophecy

    | Oslo, Norway | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I am a customer consultant. We sometimes get people on the phone who have been called by the debt collection company due to unpaid invoices.)

    Me: “This is [company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “How dare you send my invoice to the debt collection company!”

    Me: “That is unfortunate. May I have your invoice number, please? Perhaps we have the wrong address on file.”

    Customer: “It’s [invoice number]. After you sent me three reminders, you have suddenly sent it to the debt collection company! I want to cancel my services immediately!”

    Me: “Wait, you HAVE received the reminders we’ve sent you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I did. I threw them away.”

    Me: “And why did you never call us when you received the reminders?”

    Customer: “I thought you would stop sending me reminders.”

    Me: “You thought the unpaid invoice would just magically disappear if you threw away the invoice reminders?”

    Customer: “Yes, Of course!”

    Related:
    Self-Discarding Prophecy

    It Pays To Be Patient, Part 2

    | Jackson, WY, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (A customer has just bought three books and has asked me to ship them as gifts. I haven’t done any shipping projects yet, and am unsure of what to charge, so I go downstairs and ask my boss about the price before returning to the customer. Note: A coworker has been standing at the register next to me during this exchange.)

    Me: “So, the shipping for those books would be eight dollars for the regular postal service or twelve dollars UPS shipping.”

    Customer: “Oh, I want to send them through the regular postal service, but to three separate addresses.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I misunderstood. Let me check with my boss if the prices would be any different, one moment.”

    (I go downstairs to speak with my boss again, and come back with new prices.)

    Me: “For three separate packages, that would be nine dollars.”

    (The customer hands me one dollar.)

    Me: “Oh… I’m sorry. That’s nine dollars for the shipping.”

    Customer: “But you already took my money!”

    Me: “Well, you already paid for the books, but I didn’t take any money for the shipping.”

    Customer: “You have a very bad memory, young lady! I gave you ten dollars. You went to the register right there and rung in the money!”

    (I look over at the register, which clearly displays the last transaction. It shows his total for the three books he bought.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the register shows that the last thing I did on it was ring up your books.”

    Customer: “Well! You just have a TERRIBLE memory! I already paid you!”

    Me: “If you want, I can look on the register and show you the last transactions that were made, but—”

    Customer: “CHECK.”

    (I go through the old receipts, and of course there is no receipt for any shipping. I ask my coworker if she saw me ring it up, since she’s been watching the entire time, and she says no.)

    Me: “Sir, there is no receipt on the register. I promise you I did not take your money for anything but the books.”

    Customer: “Well, you certainly took care of any future plans I had to do business here!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

    (As we finish his transaction, the customer continues muttering under his breath the entire time. Once I put in his order, he suddenly stops muttering.)

    Customer: *grudgingly* “…I’m going to have to apologize for giving you such a hard time, young lady.”

    (I look over and see that he’s picked up the pile of objects he’d placed on the table during the transaction and, lo and behold, discovered the ten dollar bill he’d accused me of taking underneath. He left the store as quickly as possible and hasn’t been back since!)

    Related:
    It Pays To Be Patient

    PINheaded, Part 3

    | Brisbane, Australia | At The Checkout, Money, Technology

    (In Australia when you pay by card, you can either use a pin number or sign for your purchase if you pay by card. Regardless, you need to have your card on you.)

    Me: “Okay, so the total is $17.”

    Customer: *comes up $2 short* “Oh, I don’t have enough. I’ll just run to my car to get the $2.”

    Me: “Oh, here, I’ll save the transaction and keep your bags back here for you.”

    Customer: “Oh, I’ll just pay with my bank card!”

    Me: “Okay, go ahead.”

    Customer: “I have… a pin.”

    Me: “Alrighty, then. Did you have your card?”

    Customer: “Yes.” *stares at me*

    Me: “Ma’am, you have to put your card in the machine.”

    Customer: “I HAVE A PIN! I DON’T SIGN!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you have to put your card in the machine for it to take the payment.”

    (The customer mutters something about getting the $2 and walks off. I save the order and continue serving other customers. Returning with her money, the woman proceeds to cut the line and slams the correct money on the counter. I process the payment and think she’s about to leave when she starts yelling again.)

    Customer: “So, you’re telling me I have to keep my card with me all the time to pay, even though I have a pin?!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. The computer can’t process the payment unless the card is in the machine. It doesn’t matter if you have a pin or sign for it.”

    Customer: “BUT I HAVE A PIN!” *storms off*

    Related:
    Pinheaded, Part 2
    PINheaded

    O, Canaduh, Part 2

    | Niagara Falls, NY, USA | Money, Tourists/Travel

    (This story takes place at a mall about five minutes from the USA/Canada border. Today, I am working at the register. A Canadian customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Ugh! I hate this country!”

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [store]. May I ask why?”

    Customer: “It’s so hard to tell the value of your money. You should color code it like we do in Canada!”

    Me: “Well, if you look on all four corners on either side of the bill, the numbers you see denote the dollar value of the bill. You can also look at the bottom of either side of the bill, or to the right side of the face on the bill.”

    Customer: “Ugh, why do you Americans have to make everything so difficult?!”

    Related:
    O, Canaduh

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