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    Category: Money

    Paying Fool Price

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    Me: “…and your total comes to $10.28.”

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t. I bought two shirts.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but today is a buy 1, get 1 free sale on all women’s apparel.”

    Customer: “Is this some sort of scheme? Because I’m not gonna pay unless I pay for both! I ain’t falling for no scheme!”

    Me: “Miss, I can assure you that today is a a buy 1, get 1 free sale.”

    Customer: *throws down a $20 and a $1 and storms out of the store*

    In God We Tax

    | Pasadena, CA, USA | Money, Religion

    (An elderly customer in a Catholic priest’s cassock with a thick Irish accent comes into our bookstore. I add up his purchases and hand him a receipt. He looks over it, but hands it back to me.)

    Customer: “There’s been a mistake. I don’t pay sales tax.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. Can I see your resale card?”

    Customer: “I don’t have one of those. These items are for myself.”

    Me: “Well, then, I’m afraid you have to pay sales tax. Everyone pays sales tax unless they have a resale card.”

    Customer: “You’re mistaken. Priests don’t pay sales tax.”

    Me: “Maybe not in Ireland, but they do in the US.”

    Customer: “…And that’s why this country is completely uncivilized!” *leaves*

    It Pays To Be Patient, Part 4

    | MA, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (I work in a medical uniform store. The first customer of the day comes into our store with her father; she’s making a big return on several different items. Instead of doing an even exchange, she picks out different clothes as well as adding a watch that wasn’t originally with the purchase. I’ve rung everything through and the new total is five or six dollars above $100. This is important, as the place she works at gives her a $100 allowance at our store.)

    Customer: “Are you sure the price is right?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, one of the tops rang up above price, but I knocked it down to the ticketed price for you.”

    Customer: “What about the money from my return?”

    Me: “It was taken out of what you were buying already. [Price] is what’s left over after the return money has been taken out.”

    Customer: “That’s still not right. I took a cheaper pair of shoes to afford the watch.”

    Me: “Let me show you how this breaks down…”

    (I take out the register calculator and add up her returns for her. I then add up her purchases total, which comes out bigger than the returns. She makes me repeat this another time. Meanwhile a line is starting to form with other customers; it’s a small store and I’m the only register open. She decides to switch tactics.)

    Customer: “I think I was overcharged when I first bought the clothes. The tag and the charge on the receipt don’t match, see?”

    (She holds out the original receipt and makes me recalculate everything again. Sure enough, she hasn’t been overcharged on anything. As the line is growing longer, she switches tactics again.)

    Customer: “I get a discount for working at [hospital] right?”

    Me: “Normally, yes, but that’s only for full priced items. All of yours are already on sale. I can’t compound discounts.”

    Customer: “But I work at [hospital]! You should give me the discount!”

    Me: “Ma’am, store policy says I cannot put a hospital discount on something that is already discounted.”

    Customer: “The girl who rang me up the first time did!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we just went through the receipt. Nowhere were you given a hospital discount when the item was already on sale. And, regardless, that was her and this is me; store policy says I cannot compound the discount.”

    (The customer opens her mouth to try again, but thankfully her father, who has been patiently waiting along with the other customers in line, intervenes.)

    Customer’s Father: “She has given you all the discounts she can. Here, I will pay for it.”

    (He hands me the money, I finish the transaction, and they leave. The next customer in line steps up and I thank her for waiting.)

    Next Customer: “You have a lot of patience, young lady! I would have kicked her out of the store a long time ago.”

    Related:
    It Pays To Be Patient, Part 3
    It Pays To Be Patient, Part 2
    It Pays To Be Patient

    Good Money Drive-Thrus Out Bad

    | Ontario, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (I am working drive-thru at a major coffee shop chain. Every once in awhile, customers will “pay it forward” by paying for the order of the vehicle behind them. This is a happy surprise for the next customer, and usually causes them to pay for the order of the next vehicle and so on. We’re currently in the middle of a “pay it forward” chain when the following customer pulls up at the window.)

    Me: “Hello, your total is $3.49, but the car in front of you has already paid for it.”

    Customer: “What the f***?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s been going for 11 cars in a row. You can pay it forward if you’d like to keep the good deed going. No pressure, though.”

    Customer: “F*** that! I’ll pay for my own coffee. Not paying for some clown behind me!”

    Me: “Not a problem. Your order has been paid for. Have a good day.”

    Customer: “Are you deaf?! I said I am paying for it! This is such a scam getting people to pay for others. You’re what’s wrong with the world today, you know!”

    Me: “I’m sorry for trying to give you your order for free.”

    Customer: “That’s right, and don’t you DARE use my money to pay for the person behind me, you punk!”

    (The customer peels away. As for their money, I used it to keep the chain going, which lasted for another 14 vehicles.)

    The Customer Is Not Always Righteous

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Money

    (I’m manager on duty tidying up. One of my coworkers walks up to me.)

    Coworker #1: “I have a customer who doesn’t want to pay her late fees because she’s ‘righteous’.”

    (Baffled, I follow my coworker up to the register and see the customer. Immediately, she speaks to me.)

    Customer: “I shouldn’t pay because I’m righteous.”

    Me: “I’m… sorry? What happened?”

    Customer: “I’m righteous. It’s not right for you to charge me.”

    Me: “I’m showing your movie was returned two days after it was due. It was five days, but you had it out for a full week.”

    Customer: “You’re not being righteous. I’m righteous. I’m busy out spreading the word of God. I didn’t have time to bring it back. I was being righteous. This isn’t right of you!”

    Me: “That’s very good of you, but unfortunately the fees are valid. I’m afraid you will need to pay it in total if you want to rent today. I can’t take it off.”

    Customer: “No, I’m a righteous person. You need to do the right thing. This isn’t right of you!”

    Me: “Actually, since you knew the due date and that we charge fees, you know that the charge is valid. It wouldn’t be righteous of you to not pay a fee you knowingly incurred.”

    Customer: “No, no. I am righteous! This is YOU not doing the right thing.”

    (Coworker #2 has been awkwardly standing at his own till with a slight smile frozen in place this whole time. Eventually, the customer notices him.)

    Customer: *to Coworker #2* “Don’t you laugh at me. I’m righteous, young man!”

    Coworker #1: “He wasn’t laughing at you, ma’am. We’re a very happy crew.”

    (The customer glares at Coworker #2 for a while before deciding to pay up and rent, muttering the whole time. The only audible word is “righteous.” Before leaving, she has one more thing to say.)

    Customer: “Tell them it’s not righteous. I know it’s not your choice, but it’s not right to do this to me when I’m righteous!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, I will. Have a good night.”

    (Not surprisingly, the customer didn’t return her movies two weeks later, even after repeated attempts to get a hold of her. She ‘righteously’ kept merchandise that didn’t belong to her!)

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