November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Money

If They Were Good At Math They Wouldn’t Gamble

| ME, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

(I work as a cashier for the only supermarket in town. A couple comes in and buys cigarettes, alcohol, sandwiches and lottery tickets.)

Man: “I would like to cash this lottery ticket in.”

Me: “Okay, no problem.”

(I bring the ticket to the scanner, and it rings in as a $50.00 winner.)

Me: “Would you like me to deduct the winnings from your purchase, or have the cash?”

Woman: “Just deduct it from the purchase.”

(I deduct the $50.00, and ring in the rest of the groceries. After the deduction, the order comes up to about $35.00, and they give me a $50.00 bill.)

Me: “Here’s your change, $15.00. Thank you, have a great day!”

Woman: “Hey! You didn’t give us all our change back! Where’s our $50.00?!”

Me: “Your order came up to $35.00, in which I gave you $15.00 in change, because the $50.00 was deducted in the beginning.”

Man: “But our order didn’t f****** come up to that much!”

Me: “Well, you have $30.00 worth of scratch tickets, alcohol, groceries, sandwiches, and cigarettes. The whole order would’ve come up to about $85.00 altogether.”

Man: “But where’s our f****** $50.00?!”

Me: “Sir, if I had given you the $50.00 cash, and the whole order came up to $85.00, in which you would’ve given me two $50.00 dollar bills, and I would’ve given you $15.00 in change still.”

Woman: “What the h*** are you talking about? We still didn’t buy that much! You must’ve overcharged us! I demand your manager!”

Me: “Ma’am, the manager is not present at the moment. I will ring your purchase, and your receipt will show that I have not overcharged you.”

(I print the receipt, and show them that the $50.00 was deducted in the beginning at their request, and the rest of the groceries were expensive still.)

Man: “You know what? You don’t know how to do your simple f****** job! No wonder you’re just a cashier and not in college!”

Me: “Sir, if you’d wish, you can leave your name and number with me, and I will give you a refund if we find my drawer is any money over tomorrow.)

Woman: “Forget it, you stupid b****!”

Man: “Just keep it, you greedy a**-hole!”

(They both storm out with their groceries. I ask the next day and the drawer did not come up over. When they came in next, they were given a lecture on how they spoke to me.)

Math Skills Are In The Lower 25 Per Cent

, | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money, Top

(While working at an ice cream store, there is a sale for buy one ice cream, get one for 25 cents. We are jam packed, and I am manning one of the registers.)

Me: “Thank you for coming to [store], what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’d like five large ice creams, please.”

Me: “Sounds great; your total comes to $14.”

Customer: “I thought there was a sale for 25 cents?”

Me: “Yes, it’s buy one, get one for 25 cents.”

Customer: “So then why am I paying so much?”

Me: “A regular large is $4.50, so three of those adds up to $13.50, plus two for 25 cents.”

Customer: “The fifth one is supposed to be 25 cents.”

Me: “You have to buy one first for it to be 25 cents. Would you like to buy one more blizzard?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want six ice creams; the last one needs to be 25 cents!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t give you the fifth one for 25 cents; you need to buy another ice cream first.”


Me: “Ma’am, I can’t. Its buy one, get one for 25 cents.”

Customer: “I refuse to speak with you; get me your manager now!”

Me: “Ma’am, we’re very busy and—”


Me: “Ma’am, please we are very busy—”

Customer: “I refuse to speak with such an idiot.”

Me: “Let me get her for you…”

(I pull my manager away from making 15 ice creams. She is very much annoyed that I have to get her.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “This imbecile of an employee will not give me my 25 cent ice cream.”

(The manager looks at my screen, and sees five ice creams.)

Manager: “You ordered five ice creams, correct?”

Customer: “Yes, and I want my 25 cent ice cream!”

Manager: “It’s a buy one, get one for 25 cents. You have five ice creams. Simple math tells us that the fifth is at regular price. So either pay for your f***** ice cream, or the get the h*** out of my store.”

Customer: “Well EXCUSE ME! I’ll take my ice creams, but I’m never coming back!”

Manager: “Good, you weren’t going to be allowed back anyway!”

Visiting The 51st State

| UK | Money, Theme Of The Month, Top, Tourists/Travel

(I’m the cashier at a small grocery store. An American customer approaches my till with a pint of milk.)

Customer: “Excuse me, can I get this milk cheaper? It’s cheaper in America.”

Me: “Uhh, sorry. We can’t change the prices for something like that.”

Customer: “Why not? I’m not paying that much for milk. Everything is way too expensive over here!”

Me: “If we changed the prices for everyone simply because they thought it would be too expensive, then we’d probably not stay in business very long!”

Customer: *sighs* “FINE.”

(She slams the milk jug down on the till, and I finish the transaction.)

Me: “Okay, that’s £1.89 please.”

(The customer sighs dramatically again, and hands me a $10 bill. I stare at it.)

Customer: “What?”

(I am thinking she hasn’t realized what she’s given to me. By this point there are a few customers queuing at my checkout.)

Me: “It’s one pound, and 89 pence.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “We can’t accept dollars here.”

Customer: “WHY NOT?”

Me: “We don’t accept foreign currency. Just pounds.”


(She ends up leaving the milk, and storming out of the store. Half of the customers in my line can’t help but laugh out loud after she leaves.)

Price-Rise Of The Machines, Part 2

| AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Technology

(A customer is paying for her order at the cash register.)

Manager: “Will that be debit or credit?”

Customer: “Debit.”

Manager: “Would you like to leave a tip?”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! If I wanted to leave a tip, I would have left it on the table. That is so rude of you to ask!”

Manager: “No, ma’am, that’s not what I mean. The computer is asking if you want to leave a tip.”

Customer: “Oh, so computers talk now, huh? Just like how the roof talks. And the floors, too. You’re just full of it!”

Price-Rise Of The Machines

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22

| USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]; how may I help today?”


Me: “I can see that would be extremely frustrating. Can I have your account information so we can correct this?”

(The caller gives me the information, and I see she hasn’t made a payment in four months.)

Caller: “Turn it back on right now!”

Me: “I would be happy to once you make a payment to get your account up to date.”

Caller: “I have to pay?!”

Me: “Well you haven’t made any payments in four months; may I ask why? Is there something that been preventing you from paying?”

Caller: “Yeah, something really important.”

Me: “May I ask what it was?”

Caller: “Yeah, I was saving up for my vacation to Cancun. That is why I need the card back on. RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Just so I have this straight: you didn’t pay your credit card because you wanted to save up for your vacation, and now you want us to let you use your card.”

Caller: “Yeah, what’s so hard about that?”

Me: “Sorry, we wont be able to do that for you without having a payment.”

Caller: “What! I am so canceling my card when I get home!”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12