Category: Money

Laptop Flop, Part 7

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology

Me: “How can I help?”

Customer: “I need to buy a computer. I don’t want you to sell me insurance or anything else, just the computer.”

Me: “What will you be using it for?”

Customer: “I need to use ‘The Google,’ and some word processing. I’ve been told by my technical friend it needs two ‘tetrabites’ and at least eight ‘jiggabites.'”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “I think you mean terabytes and gigabytes.”

Customer: “Yes, I am well aware of what I need.”

Me: “For the things you are using it for, I don’t think you will need those specifications. You might end up spending a lot of money and not make full advantage of the machine. You could get a cheaper machine and spend more money on attachments.”

Customer: “No, I know what I need; my friend told me.”

Me: *politely* “Is your friend a technician?”

Customer: “No, he’s a decorator.”

Me: “Right.” *shows customer to a computer that matches her specifications, priced £899*

Customer: “That’s too expensive. I was hoping to spend £150 – £200.”

Me: “We have nothing that cheap. The lowest priced and most basic laptops start at £350.”

(The customer walked off, whilst muttering how customer service was terrible.)

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 6
Laptop Flop, Part 5
Laptop Flop, Part 4

Doesn’t Have The Gift(card) Of Foresight, Part 2

| SK, Canada | At The Checkout, Money

(Customer is paying at the checkout at a world-wide chain supermarket.)

Me: “That’ll be $11 please.”

Customer: *digging out pockets of pants, jacket, and purse* “Where the h*** is my card?”

(Five minutes pass; the line starts to build up.)

Customer: “I’m sorry; I’m looking for my gift cards.” *place five cards on the desk*

Me: “It’s okay, take your time.”

Customer: “You can help others first.” *keeps searching for more gift cards*

(I clear the rest of the line in five minutes.)

Customer: “Here, try this one.”

(Hands me a gift card with three-year-old design and at least 10 cards on the desk. I swipe and it get a $0 balance.)

Me: “Sorry, madam, this one didn’t work out. It has a $0 balance.”

Customer: “Okay, then try this one.”

(I kept trying with her other five cards and they all turn out $0.)

Customer: “How the f*** can that be? That’s why I never trust any of these gift cards! Do they expire or what? See, that one’s got a $20 written (hand-written) on top! Get me your manager!”

Me: “Madam, as far as I know they are required by law not to have an expiry date, and I can get you the manager.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

(I explained the situation.)

Manager: “Well, madam, these cards will never expire, they can only be used up, is there any chance that they’ve already been used up?”

Customer: “H*** no! See this f****** writing?! It says $20 and that one got $30 and that—”

Manager: “Well, then, I can help you figure out how much they worth at my till.”

(The manager cancelled her order at my till, and the customer went with manager to check values of her cards. Later, when I talked to the manager, she said all but one of her cards had value, which added up to $25.30. And after double checking with the pin number of each gift card, Manager was able to pull out records of all the gift cards, rendering the customer speechless and walk away shamefully. Oh, yeah, and she still kept all those empty gift cards in her purse mixed altogether with the only charged one.)

Related:
Doesn’t Have The Gift(card) Of Foresight

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37

| England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “Hello. I’ve got an email from you saying you’ve not been able to take my direct debit this month. Why’s that?”

(I take the customers policy number, confirm his details, and investigate his payments. Nothing’s changed at our end to account for it, so I ask…)

Me: “Did you have [amount] in your account for the payment?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “And you haven’t told your bank to cancel the direct debit?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “No changes, at all, to your bank or finances? Nothing you can think of that may have caused this change?”

Customer: “Well, I closed my bank account recently…”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 36
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 35
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34

Remember, Remember, The Fifth Of October

| Saratoga, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(It is about a half hour from closing when the phone rings. If you want to pay for delivery with a card, you have to do it over the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. This is [My Name]. Will this be for pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “Delivery, please.”

(We go through the normal ordering process of phone number, address, what she actually wants; when we get to the payment.)

Customer: “Yeah, I like, want to charge it.”

Me: “Okay, I just need your card number whenever you’re ready.”

Customer: “It’s [Number].”

Me: “Expiration date?”

Customer: “October 2014.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s coming up declined. Let’s try the number again.”

Customer: *in a huff* “Okaaay, it’s 4… 2… 3…”

(She’s saying each number slowly and dramatically, as if I processed it wrong because I’m stupid. I’m a bit disgruntled until the next part happens.)

Me: “And for the expiration, I have ten-fourteen?”

Customer: “No, October. Like, eleven-fourteen.”

Me: “Okay, I think I see the problem here. You’re all set and it’ll be about forty minutes. Have a great night.”

Receipting Back A Decent Dose Of Karma

| Detroit, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money

(I am working the register when I am approached by a mother, daughter, and grandmother with a return, which happens to be a $140 coat.)

Me: “Oh, I see you have a return. Was there anything wrong with the coat?”

Mother: “No, her uncle bought it for her and she doesn’t like it.”

Me: “All right, I’ll just need to see the receipt.”

Daughter: “I wasn’t given a receipt when I got it.”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. However, I will need to see some form of ID and I can only return it for the current sale price.”

Mother: “Okay, that’s no big deal.”

(I enter all of the required information, scan the item and am ready to complete the transaction.)

Me: “You’ll be getting back $84.80. Did you want a copy of the receipt sent to your email?”

Mother: “What? No, the coat was $140. That can’t be right.”

Me: “Like I said ma’am, the coat is currently on sale and that’s the price I can return it for.”

(The grandmother decides to chime in.)

Grandmother: “Listen here, you little s***. My son paid $140 for that coat; now we want a full refund. My granddaughter shouldn’t be punished for your god-d*** incompetence.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but there is nothing I can do without the receipt.”

(After being cussed out by the entire family, the girl, without even looking, promptly reaches into her purse and pulls out the receipt. I scan it and the return comes out to $84.80.)

Me: “Once again, you’ll be getting back $84.80, and would you like a copy of your attitude sent to your email?”

(The family quickly grabbed the coat and hustled out of the store.)

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