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    Category: Money

    Mommy Money

    | NC, USA | Family & Kids, Money

    (A family comes into the gift shop where I work. A small boy starts tugging on his father’s sleeve.)

    Boy: “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”

    Dad: “I’m not buying you anything.”

    (The boy pauses, and then rushes over to his mother.)

    Boy: “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!”

    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 5

    | Dallas, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a customer in this story, standing next in line while the person ahead is being attended to.)

    Cashier: “Okay, sir. Your total is [amount].”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    (The customer pauses and doesn’t move to get his wallet.)

    Cashier: “Sir. Cash or credit?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry. Are you paying with cash, check, or credit card today?”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Cashier: “For your groceries, how would you like to pay for them?”

    Customer: “I don’t get it. I only have a debit card.”

    Cashier: “That’s fine. We accept debit as well. Just slide it through the machine here.”

    Customer: “But it’s asking for a credit card. I don’t carry credit cards. People steal those all the time.”

    Cashier: “Sir, the machine will take both credit and debit. I you just follow the prompts…”

    Customer: “I don’t know. It’s asking for a credit card. I refuse to use one.”

    Cashier: “I can 100% guarantee you, sir, that the machine will read your debit card. After you swipe your card, select ‘debit’ and you’ll be done.”

    Customer: *motions to his groceries* “I can’t pay for these with a debit card. What kind of a business is this that doesn’t accept debit?”

    Me: “Sir, I don’t mean to interrupt, but I shop here weekly. They do accept debit cards. Open your eyes and read the machine prompt. It clearly has a DEBIT option.”

    Customer: “It says credit. I don’t have credit!”

    Me: “It’s that green button on the right labeled DEBIT. If you can’t see it, then I don’t think anyone here can help you.”

    (At this point the customer walks out and leaves eight full bags of groceries behind, muttering how confused he was that the store didn’t accept debit cards. The cashier has to load the bags into a cart and wait on another associate before ringing me up.)

    Me: “That probably happens way more often than it really should.”

    Cashier: “We have a pool going to see how high we can hit in a week. So far I’m at five and it’s only Wednesday.”

    Related:
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 4
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 3
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2

    Doesn’t Know Beans About Listening

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a cashier in restaurant with a store attached. All purchases, either food or merchandise, are done through me. When a customer finishes their meal, they bring me a receipt to pay for their meal, along with any other things they feel like buying. Like many stores, we have an item we try to sell to every customer who comes through the line. Its currently jelly beans.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! How are you today? Did [Server] take good care of you?”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah. She was great.”

    Me: “Is that everything for you today? Would you like to add on any jelly beans today? We have a bunch of different kinds, with just about every flavor.”

    Customer: “Yes, please. Seven.”

    Me: *shocked* “Seven, sir? Absolutely. which kind would you like? We have the regular 20 flavors, sour, ice cream, smoothie…”

    (I proceed to list every bag I can think of.)

    Customer: “What? No. I want to add seven.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, but I need to know what kind you want.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? I. Want. To. Add. Seven.”

    Me: “Seven what?!”

    Customer: “DOLLARS.”

    Me: “Sir, are you referring to a tip? You want to add seven dollars for your server?”

    Customer: “Yes! What else would I be talking about?”

    Me: “Well, sir, I had just asked if you would like to add any jelly beans to your purchase today…”

    Counting And Discounting

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Math & Science, Money, Top

    (I’m a cashier at a place that sells small items of furniture, storage containers, and so on. We are having a 10% off sale. My last customer caused a huge amount of trouble due to getting angry and shouting over not understanding the difference between 10% and $10, so I’m feeling frazzled. A mother and her child, probably seven or eight, come up to my register and start unloading their items while they talk.)

    Mother: *to the kid* “Now, this container was $19.95, but we bought two, so how much is that?”

    Kid: “$39.90!”

    Mother: “Well done! But remember, there’s 10% off today. What’s 10% of $39.90?”

    Kid: “$3.99, so the real price would be… umm, $35.91?”

    Mother: “That’s right! Nicely done! But now here comes the hard one, so look out! I have my membership card!”

    (The child’s eyes widen. Membership cards give a further 25% discount.)

    Kid: “Okay, okay, umm…”

    Mother: “You can do it!”

    (By this time, I’ve scanned the items and bagged them. Just as I’m about to say the total, the child beats me to it.)

    Kid: “$26.93!”

    Mother: “Fantastic job! I think we get to stop at the playground on the way home!”

    Kid: “Yes!” *jumps up and down gleefully*

    (After my last customer, a fully grown man who couldn’t understand what a percentage was, I’m literally dumbfounded. In the end, I call my manager and we give the mother a further employee discount, which her child also worked out.)

    Takes A Toll On The Soul

    | USA | Bizarre, Money, Religion

    (I am a phone customer service rep for a government agency that has been strongly encouraging constituents to use our website for basic governmental functions. It is my first day out of training.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello. I just want to know if you charge spiritual taxes to people of certain religious beliefs?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “Spiritual taxes. Do you charge them for using your website?”

    Me: “… I think that’s more a question for your religious leader of choice, but no, to the best of my knowledge we do not charge taxes on the soul for using our website.”

    Caller: “Oh, wonderful!” *click*


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