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    Category: Money

    The Only Place You’ll Be Driven Is Crazy

    | Macon, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Money, Transportation

    (I’m on the phone with a customer. I can hear kids running around and screaming in the background.)

    Customer: “I talked to the man earlier. He said y’all do cars for five hundred down?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What’s y’all… hold on a sec… *she yells at the kids making noise in the background* “QUIT THAT! I’M ON THE F***ING PHONE!” *back to me* “What do y’all need from me?”

    Me: “Well, we ask for a pay stub as proof of income, a copy of your driver’s license, and some references.”

    Customer: “Well, I do a daycare out of my home. That’s my job. Is that okay?”

    A Stickler For Stickers

    | London, UK | Money

    (We are having a summer sale, and I am busy stickering a bunch of notebooks which are 50% off. Note: these stickers are merely to alert the customers of the discount; the items are automatically discounted when scanned at the till).

    Customer: *picks up notebook* “Is this half off, too?”

    Me: “Of course. All of these notebooks are.”

    Customer: “What about these two?”

    Me: “Yup, all of them!”

    Customer: “Could you put a sticker on this one, then?”

    Me: “It’s okay; it doesn’t need one. All our items are automatically reduced at the till. Is there anything else you need?”

    Customer: *agitated* “Yeah, I want a sticker on this d*** notebook!”

    Me: “Honestly, it’s an automatic system and it doesn’t need one.”

    (The customer just stands there. I eventually lean over and place a sticker on the notebook. The customer’s attitude immediately improves.)

    Customer: “Thank you very much!”

    Fee For The Taking

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Caller: “I would like free shipping for this product.”

    Me: “We’re sorry, but we don’t have any free shipping deals today.”

    Caller: “I want free shipping.”

    Me: “There is no free shipping, so I really can’t give you free shipping.”

    Caller: “I don’t want the product, then.”

    (I decide to try another approach.)

    Me: “How about I add $6.99 to your order and then give you free shipping? Would that be okay?”

    Caller: “That would be great! Thank you so much! Thanks for the great customer service!”

    Me: “Okay, sir. You go have a good day.”

    Caller: “Thank you! Thanks for the free shipping!”

    Around The Competition In 80 Minutes

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Money

    Customer: “I’d like to overnight these documents to Israel.”

    (I process the service.)

    Me: “That will be $145.00, please.”

    Customer: *jaw drops* “Why is it so much?!”

    Me: “Because you want it on the other side of the world tomorrow.”

    Customer: “No deal! I’m going to [competitor #1] or [competitor #2]!”

    Me: “Okay, have a nice day!”

    (Over an hour later, the customer returns, having found that our competitor charges even more for the service.)

    Customer: *quietly* “Do you take Visa?”

    Taxing Customers, Part 2

    | Alabama, USA | Money

    Me: “Hello, how are you, sir?”

    Customer: “Just this.” *places a magazine on the counter*

    Me: “That will be $2.20, please.”

    Customer: “There’s tax!”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Magazines are taxed.”

    Customer: “To h*** with that! I ain’t payin’ no tax!” *stomps off*

    Next Customer: *to the first customer* “Well, aren’t you a special snowflake?”

    Related:
    Taxing Customers


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