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    Category: Money

    Fare The Horde

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Awesome Customers, Criminal/Illegal, Money, Top, Transportation

    (On my Seattle bus, a passenger tries to slip in through the back door and sneak to a seat without paying.)

    Bus Driver: “Please come up and pay, sir.”

    Fare-evading Passenger: *smirks and ignores him*

    Bus Driver: “Sir, please come up and pay.”

    Fare-evading Passenger: *continues ignoring him*

    (Fed up, I intervene.)

    Me: “That’s you, bro.”

    Fare-evading Passenger: *smirks again*

    (I wait a few seconds before I get up, walk over, and pull out one of his ear-buds.)

    Me:Look. I got three hours of sleep last night, I’m having a bad morning, and you are not going to make me late for work. Get your self-entitled a** up there and pay your d*** fare!”

    Fare-evading Passenger: *slinks up to the front of the bus and pays*

    (Note that I’m wearing a t-shirt with “Thrall” from World of Warcraft. Another passenger at the front notices and shouts back towards me…)

    Another Passenger: “FOR THE HORDE!”

    H2-Woah, Part 2

    | London, UK | Bizarre, Money

    Me: “Hey, what can I get you?”

    Customer: “I would like two bottles of water, please.”

    (I give the water to the customer.)

    Me: “That’s £5 please.”

    Customer: “Excuse me? How much?”

    Me: “£2.50 each, so £5.”

    Customer: “That’s disgusting. How do you get away with charging that much for water? I am only willing to pay 50p for both as it’s only bottled tap water.”

    Me: “It’s not tap water; it’s mineral water. Tap water is free if you want it.”

    (The customer hands me £10.)

    Customer: “I expect £9.50 change as I’m not paying that much.”

    (I hand the customer £5 change.)

    Me: “No, it’s £5 change.”

    Customer: “I’m just f***ing with you. You’re just so beautiful I thought you deserved some abuse!”

    Related:
    H2-Woah

    Long-Handed Short-Change

    | UK | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

    (I have been working for almost 14 hours straight, and have had several difficult customers throughout the day. A customer approaches the counter and places a 4-pack of beer on the counter. I scan it through.)

    Me: “Okay, that will be £5.54, please.”

    (The customer hands over £10.)

    Me: “Okay, so that’s £4.46 change.”

    Customer: “Thank you. Oh wait, this is on offer. It’s only meant to be £4.49.”

    (I check the shelf, and it is indeed meant to be £4.49.)

    Me: “Sorry about that, I’ll just refund your money then charge through the correct price.”

    (I do this. The man now has 2 piles of money. One of £5.54, and one of £4.46. A total of £10. I take £4.49 from the £5.54 pile and put it in the till. This leaves him with £5.51 in two piles. One pile of £4.46 and the other of £1.05.)

    Customer: “Is that us straight now?”

    Me: “Yes. Were fine.”

    Customer: “No! That money there is yours!” *points at the £1.05* “It needs to go in your till. Then you need to give me £1.05 from the till.”

    Me: “Erm… what?”

    Customer: “You’ve f***** up! That money is yours. Put it in the till then give me an extra £1.05!”

    Me: “You want me to put £1.05 in the till. Then take £1.05 out of the till?”

    Customer: “Yes that’s your money.” *points at the £1.05 on the counter* “Put it in the till, then give me £1.05.”

    Me: “Erm… okay?”

    (I do this and the man leaves the shop. I turn to look at my supervisor, who has tears of laughter streaming down his face.)

    They Changed Each Other

    | Mississauga, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (I work part-time at a store that sells pools, hot tubs, and other leisure items.)

    Me: “Will that be everything today?”

    Customer: “Yes, miss. What’s the damage?”

    Me: “That’ll be $50.05, sir.”

    (The customer opens his wallet and hands me a $50 bill.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry, but I only have the $50. I left my coin-purse at home today. Is that okay?”

    Me: “Not a problem, sir. I’m sure I’ve got a nickel in my purse, somewhere.”

    (I get a coworker to watch my till while I grab my purse from the staff room and try to find a nickel. I grab one, put it in the drawer, and cash the customer out; he thanks me and leaves the store, but a few hours later, my boss pages me to call his office immediately.)

    Me: “You rang, sir?”

    Boss: “Yes. Can you come to the front of the store, please? There’s someone who wants to speak with you.”

    (When I reach the storefront, the same customer is standing at the counter. He’s holding a beautiful, red rose, which he gives to me—along with a nickel!)

    Me: “T…thank you, sir. You know, you didn’t have to do this!”

    Customer: “Yes, miss. I did. You went above and beyond your job-description to help someone in need, and that’s customer service!”

    Me: *trying not to cry by this point* “Thank you so much, sir! Have a nice day!”

    Customer: “And you as well, young lady!”

    (After he left the store, my boss sent him a $50 gift-card, for ‘treating our staff like human beings’. It’s been 10 years since then, but I’ll never forget that customer for as long as I live. To this day, his kindness reminds me that there is still good in this world!)

    Acts Of God

    | Australia | Money, Religion

    (My job is to process insurance claims made for home and contents damages only. I make an out-bound call.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, this is [me] from [company] calling. Is [customer] available, please?”

    Customer: “Speaking.”

    Me: “Oh, good afternoon. I’m just calling in regards to the recent insurance claim made for your ‘outhouse.’ Do you have a few minutes?”

    Customer: “Certainly.”

    Me: “Okay, fantastic. We have received the report from [builder] regarding the damages to your ‘outhouse.’ In this report they have identified that the ‘outhouse’ in question is in fact a caravan and not an ‘outhouse.’ In light of this I’m calling to advise that it isn’t covered by your home insurance.”

    Customer: *clearly doesn’t understand this* “But I use it as an outhouse, it hasn’t moved in the last 34 years. I use it to help those in need for a shelter for an evening or two. I’m doing God’s work here. It’s an outhouse.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I understand that, and whilst I respect the use that you put it to, it doesn’t change the fact that it is in fact, a caravan. We won’t be able to provide coverage in this instance.”

    Customer: “But I’m doing God’s work! Do you hate God? Are you a heathen?!”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I do not hate God. I am not religious and whilst I respect that you are, religion has nothing to do with insurance. For your caravan to be covered in future by [company] you will need to purchase caravan insurance for it, but I must advise you that if you purchase this now, all pre-existing damage will not be covered.”

    Customer: “HEATHEN!” *click*

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