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    Category: Money

    Around The Competition In 80 Minutes

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Money

    Customer: “I’d like to overnight these documents to Israel.”

    (I process the service.)

    Me: “That will be $145.00, please.”

    Customer: *jaw drops* “Why is it so much?!”

    Me: “Because you want it on the other side of the world tomorrow.”

    Customer: “No deal! I’m going to [competitor #1] or [competitor #2]!”

    Me: “Okay, have a nice day!”

    (Over an hour later, the customer returns, having found that our competitor charges even more for the service.)

    Customer: *quietly* “Do you take Visa?”

    Taxing Customers, Part 2

    | Alabama, USA | Money

    Me: “Hello, how are you, sir?”

    Customer: “Just this.” *places a magazine on the counter*

    Me: “That will be $2.20, please.”

    Customer: “There’s tax!”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Magazines are taxed.”

    Customer: “To h*** with that! I ain’t payin’ no tax!” *stomps off*

    Next Customer: *to the first customer* “Well, aren’t you a special snowflake?”

    Related:
    Taxing Customers

    You Can Win The Battle But Lease The War

    | Toronto, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

    (This takes place just when DVDs are starting to replace VHS. A customer comes to the counter with a popular movie on VHS.)

    Me: “You know, sir, the rental costs $4.99 for a week, but we are selling previously rented copies of this movie for only $1.99.”

    Customer: “That’s okay. I just want to rent it.”

    Me: “But sir, it’s $3 cheaper if you buy it, and you won’t have to bring it back.”

    Customer: “But I don’t want to keep it!”

    Me: “Well, you could buy it and then throw it out after.”

    Customer: *impatiently* “Look, I don’t want to buy anything. I just want to rent this movie!”

    Me: *gives up* “Certainly, sir. That will be $5.14 with taxes. The movie is due back next Tuesday by midnight.”

    Customer: “Great! Thanks!”

    Loonies Can You Drive Looney

    | Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Geography, Money

    (I’m working at a ticket counter in Niagara Falls, Ontario.)

    Customer: “Are these prices printed in dollars?”

    Me: “Yes, they are.”

    Customer: “Why is everything in dollars?! I’m from the United States, and I take offense to you people posting everything in dollars and asking me to use your f***ing Monopoly money! You should be ashamed of yourself! WHY IS EVERYTHING IN DOLLARS?!”

    Me: “Canadian currency is also called the ‘dollar’…”

    Close Cousins Of The Fashion Police

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Bizarre, Money

    (I’m working as a cashier at a local mall.)

    Me: “Okay, sir. Your total today is [price].”

    Customer: “Can I get my 20% discount?”

    Me: *confused* “20% discount?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I always get 20% off of my purchases.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can only make an adjustment if the item is on sale or if you have a coupon. We don’t have a standing 20% off discount.”

    Customer: “But I ALWAYS get a discount.”

    Me: “Umm… I’m sorry, but I haven’t heard of this discount and I can’t make an adjustment. I can get my manager and see if she can—”

    Customer: “What’s your name?”

    Me: “[name].”

    Customer: “Well, [name], I want you to know that I’m reporting you to the sales police! Consider yourself warned!” *stalks out of the store*


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