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May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

Category: Money

He’s Not Fine With It

| Zion, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Money

(A few weeks earlier, we had a massive power outage in the area. Even after we got power back, the system was down for a time, and patron accounts were not accessible. Because of this, if anybody wanted to use the public computers, we had to print out a guest pass. The system is now working again.)

Patron: “I’d like a guest pass to use the computer, please.”

Me: “Actually, the system is back up. You should be able to sign in with your card.”

Patron: “The fines on my card are too high; it won’t let me on.”

Me: “Oh. I’m sorry. In that case, you can’t use the computer.”

Patron: “I don’t understand. Somebody printed a guest pass for me last week.”

Me: “That’s because the system was down. Nobody was able to use their cards then. But now that they’re back up, we have to go by the rules.”

Patron: “Tell me something: if somebody came in from a different library district and had to use the computer, what would you do?”

Me: “I’d give them a guest pass.”

Patron: “So how is this any different?”

Me: “If a patron came in from a different library district, then they wouldn’t owe us money.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 11

| Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography, Money, Theme Of The Month

(An American customer approaches, and tries to pay with a card that isn’t his. It has a typically female name on it, and the signatures don’t match.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I don’t think this is your card. I can’t put through the sale.”

Customer: “It’s my girlfriend’s. She said I could use it.”

Me: “That might be so, but it’s illegal for me to finish the sale; I am sorry. Is your girlfriend in the store? She can come and sign for it.”

(I suggest this cheerfully, so that he knows I’m definitely not accusing him of having a stolen card. However, the customer instantly snaps and begins yelling.)

Customer: “YOU F****** AUSTRALIANS! I COME HERE FOR A HOLIDAY, AND YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF RACIST PRICKS! IF I WAS AUSTRALIAN, YOU’D F****** PROCESS IT! THIS S*** DOESN’T HAPPEN IN AMERICA! F*** YOU!”

(My manager, who happens to be nearby, decides to intervene.)

Manager: “Sir, that’s simply not true. It’s legislation to protect people from having their card stolen. We’re protecting your girlfriend’s money.”

Customer: “WHAT A LOAD OF S***. WELCOME TO F****** AUSTRALIA, HEY? F*** ALL OF YOU! F*** YOUR F****** COUNTRY! F****** AUSSIE RACIST C****!”

(He storms out of the store, leaving everyone speechless.)

Manager: “I wonder what he’ll do when he realises he left the card behind.”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 10
No ID, No Idea, Part 9

Not The PIN-nacle Of Intelligence

| Athens, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Money

(I have finished scanning the customer’s items at the register.)

Me: “Your total come to [price].”

(The customer pulls out a card to pay.)

Me: “What kind of card is it?”

Customer: “Debit.”

(I hit the debit key on my register. She proceeds to swipe it on her side, and I turn to finish bagging her groceries.)

Customer: “This thing isn’t working!”

(I turn back to see her holding the machine’s electronic pen, looking frustrated.)

Me: “I’m sorry; did it not read your card? These things get temperamental sometimes.”

Customer: “No, it read the card. But it’s not doing anything!”

Me: “Hmm. Well, what does the screen say?”

Customer: “It just says to enter my PIN.”

Me: “Well then, just enter your PIN, ma’am.”

Customer: “I did that twice, and it didn’t take it! It’s not working!”

(The customer proceeds to demonstrate, by WRITING her PIN on the screen with the pen.)

Me: “Um, no, ma’am. You use the buttons to type it in. The screen can’t read hand writing.”

I’ve Got That Drinking Feeling, Part 2

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(There is an annual bar crawl. The street is almost literally filled with people who can’t even stand. I am a customer waiting in line.)

Drunk Girl: “There… should be… more…”

(She is digging through her purse for cash.)

Drunk Girl: “Um…”

(The drunk girl hands the cashier her lighter and other various objects as she digs through her purse.)

Drunk Girl: “How much more do you need?”

Cashier: “$8.56.”

Drunk Girl: “Randy?”

(She starts looking around for her boyfriend, who has wandered off. Then she looks at me.)

Drunk Girl: “You’re not Randy… but can I owe you $8.56?”

(The cashier gives me a look of desperation. Seeing as this has been taking quite a long time, and I feel bad for the cashier, I take out my card to pay.)

Me: “Sure, add it together with my stuff.”

Drunk Girl: “Thank you!”

Me: “You’re welcome.”

(The drunk girl proceeds to just walk out of the store without her purse or groceries.)

Cashier & Me: “Miss! Your purse!”

(The cashier and I exchange looks.)

Me: “Good luck tonight.”

Cashier: “Thanks!”

Related:
I’ve Got That Drinking Feeling

In Need Of A Sanity Check

| Federal Way, WA, USA | Bizarre, Money, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a retail financial institution that cashes all types of payroll checks. The customer that walks up to my window is a regular that comes in once a month to cash her government check that has an image of the Statue of Liberty on it. We are almost finished with the transaction.)

Me: “Did you need anything else today, like money order or stamps?”

Customer: “No, but I had a question about my check.”

Me: “Ask away! I’ll do my best to answer!”

Customer: “That picture of the Statue of Liberty on the check, does that mean I get to fly to New York and see the Statue of Liberty for free?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Does that mean I get to fly to New York and see the Statue of Liberty for free?”

Me: “Uh, no. It does not let you fly to New York for free.”

(I hand the check to her to sign, as I start to get cash from her transaction.)

Customer: “You’re a liar! It does mean I get to go to New York and see the Statue for free! You’re just trying to keep the ticket for yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the picture on the check is just a symbol representing America. It is not a plane ticket.”

Customer: “LIAR! You’re a LIAR!”

(At this point, she snatches the check from the tray under the glass separating us, and runs off screaming about me being a liar.)

Coworker: “What was that?”

Me: “I seriously don’t know.”

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