Category: Money

It’s A Bad Sign When They Have A Bad Sign

| VT, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I work at a large department store where there’s one sale a week on average. Because the sale prices are usually the same, our signing team leaves old signs behind the current ones so they don’t have to reprint every sign every time our prices change. Most customers don’t even think to look behind the visible sign, and those who do understand that the price they can see is the current price. A customer brings up a piece of one of our top brands of luggage, and a sign taken out of the sign holder.)

Customer: “Hi, this sign was behind a sign that said they were full price, but the dates include today. Can I get it for half off?”

(I look at the bottom of the sign, and see that in light gray print over white says ‘121912 12513′.)

Me: “Those are just identification numbers, but let me check the price for you.”

(I bring the suitcase to a register and scan it. Just as the sign in front says, it rings up full price.)

Me: “The sign is up for the sale that starts next week.”

Customer: “So I can get it half off, right?”

Me: “Unfortunately not, ma’am.”

Customer: “But the sign says it’s half off.”

Me: “You said this was behind a sign that gave the full price, right?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Manager: “So let me get this right: you pulled apart one of our signs, found one that isn’t current, and want that price?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s what the sign says!”

Me: “We can hold it for you until the sale starts.”

Customer: “No! I have to take it to Atlanta tomorrow! I want the price the sign says! Can’t you just give it to me early?”

Me: “If I did that, I could get fired.”

Customer: “So…?”

Me: “It’s full price.”

(The customer leaves, muttering about false advertising.)

A Gruel-ing Customer, Part 2

| OR, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I am the supervisor on duty at a soup and sandwich shop. It is in the evening, so we are very slow. I am counting down one of the tills, while my coworker is ringing up a customer. The customer completes his order, and it is handed out to him a few minutes later.)

Customer: *to my co-worker* “Um, miss, I ordered soup, and there is no soup in here.”

(My coworker pulls up the receipt to double-check, though we both know he did not order any soup.)

Coworker: “I apologize; you did not order the soup. However, I can have it out to you in just a moment. I’ll add it to your sandwich so you will only have to pay the combo price of one dollar for it.”

Customer: “I don’t have enough money for that. I think I should get it free.”

(My coworker glances at me awkwardly, so I decide to step in.)

Me: “Sir, she is just adding on the amount you would have paid had you included the soup in your first order. If you order a sandwich, soup is just a dollar extra. So she is only charging you what you would have been charged in the first place.”

Customer: “I understand that, but it wasn’t in my first order so I shouldn’t have to pay for it. Plus I don’t have enough to pay for it.”

Me: “Sir, I was standing here for your entire order. No one else has ordered since you. While I understand it was a simple mistake, you did not order soup. However, we are not charging you full price which would be $2.50 for a cup of soup; we are charging you a dollar. So to be fair, you are still getting the same deal you would have gotten.”

Customer: “Right. But I only have the $7.50 for the sandwich.”

Me: “…so no matter what, you wouldn’t have been able to afford the soup?”

Customer: “Right. But you didn’t include it in the first order, so I want it free.”

Me: “But if you had ordered it in your first order, you wouldn’t have been able to afford it. We would not have been able to include it anyway.”

Customer: “Look. This isn’t hard. I just want the soup for free.”

Me: “I’m just supposed to give you soup free because you can’t afford it?”

Customer: “Will it help if I tell you my friend is sick, and she really wants this soup?”

Me: “Not at this point, sorry.”

Customer: “Fine, whatever…”

Related:
A Gruel-ing Customer

No Catches Get Pasteurize

| WI, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(Our store sells pints of ice cream.)

Customer: “I’ll take three pints of vanilla.”

Me: “Well, we currently have a special running, so you can have four pints for the price of three. What would you like for your fourth pint?”

Customer: “So if I get one more pint it won’t cost me any more money?”

Me: “Yep!”

Customer: “Well, I don’t do deals. It’s obvious that if you buy something on sale it’s because the original price is already inflated. So I only buy things at regular price.”

Me: “Umm, well it would be the same price, so it would be a better value to have four.”

Customer: “Well, I know there’s some catch somewhere! Only give me three.”

Me: “Umm, okay, as you wish.”

Customer: “Good! I won’t have you ripping me off!”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20

| Scotland | At The Checkout, Money

Scotland, UK

(A customer comes to the counter with a cauliflower, and a bag of potatoes.)

Me: “Okay, that’s £3.36.”

Customer: “What? How much is the cauliflower?”

Me: “It’s £1.36.”

Customer: “£1.36? That’s ridiculous! That’s about twice the price of [local supermarket]. I can’t afford to pay that much on my pension!”

Me: “Would you like me to take it off?”

Customer: “Yes please. I can’t possibly afford it. Oh, and can you give me two £5 scratch-cards please?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

A Taxing Conversation, Part 2

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Money, Top

Wife: “Can we try filing separately?”

Me: “You can, but it’s not usually the best idea. You’ll disqualify yourselves from some of the biggest credits. I’ll run it through both scenarios, and see what happens. Who should have the kids on their file?”

Husband: “Put them on hers.”

(I run the return both ways. It takes about fifteen or twenty minutes, since they each have multiple jobs.)

Me: “Okay, taken jointly, you’re getting $[amount]. Separately you, sir, need to pay $[amount] and you, ma’am get $[amount] back.”

Wife: “Hmm. Put the kids on his return.”

Me: “Okay.”

(10 minutes later…)

Me: “Now, he has to pay less, and you get back less. Jointly is still the better option.”

Wife: “How about if he has one kid, and I have two kids?”

Me: “Okay.”

(Five minutes pass.)

Me: “Jointly is still better.”

Wife: “Okay, reverse it please. Him with two kids, and me with one.”

Me: “Okay.”

(Five minutes pass.)

Me: “Jointly is still better. But this other person you’ve talked about…”

Husband: “Our niece?”

Me: “Right, let me check some info out with you; she might qualify as another dependent.”

(10 minutes of interviews, and calling for info later…)

Me: “Yep. She qualifies as another dependent, and now you’re joint refund would look like—”

(The program glitches in a funny way. I have never seen this before.)

Me: “Hmm, let me call over the manager real quick.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Me: “The file glitched. I’ve been running different scenarios for them, and the husband’s file is giving me weird data and won’t let me delete it.”

Manager: “Can you restart a file with the wife as lead tax payer?”

Me: “I can do that, but they haven’t decided if they’re going to file joint or separate. I was just trying to get the results of the latest scenario, when it glitched.”

Manager: “Re-enter for the wife, and I’ll try to fix this file in case they want to file that way.”

Me: “All right.”

(Five minutes later…)

Me: “Okay, your joint refund is now even higher.”

Wife: “Can you try it separately, with me having three dependents, and my husband’s one?”

Husband: *groans*

(The next day…)

Coworker: “Why is there a biohazard sticker on this return file?”

Related:
A Taxing Conversation

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