Category: Money

Do Not Act Honorably

, | WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

Customer: “Where is my order?”

Me: “It looks like we had an issue billing your purchase due to a ‘do not honor’ message from your card. We were successful in billing it recently.”

Customer: “EXCUSES! I demand some sort of free gift or something for having to wait. My teenagers come up with better excuses; do you want me to list some?”

Me: “I am really sorry for any confusion. We could not bill this order because your card would not let us. We would recommend reaching out to them for more information as to why they would not allow this charge to go through.”

Customer: “YOU GUYS ALWAYS TRY TO BLAME THIS ON SOMEONE ELSE WHEN IT’S YOUR FAULT. I AM NOT POOR! THERE WAS MONEY ON THE CARD!”

Me: “I am really sorry for this persisting confusion, a ‘do not honor’ message has nothing to do with the funds on the card. It is simply the card company putting a temporary hold on any purchases made on that card. For your security they do not provide us with any information as to why.”

Customer: “Well, then, I really need something free because you guys are making me wait to get my order!”

Trying To Discount The Employees

| Regina, SK, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(A customer walks in with what I assume is his lady friend and buys a shirt for 10 bucks plus tax.)

Customer: “Hey, man. I like this shirt. It’s awesome.”

Me: “We usually have some good looking stuff for a pretty good price.”

Customer: “Yeah, so, do you guys have employee discounts?”

Me: “Yeah. Why? Did you want to apply here?”

Customer: “No. I was just hoping you could hook me up.”

Lady Friend: *slaps his shoulder* “Steve!”

Customer: “What?!” *notices my look of disbelief* “Obviously he can’t because the shirt is only 10 bucks!”

(I rang him through and sent him on his way. 1. If I did that, I’d get fired. 2. Are you that hard up for cash to ask for a discount on a 10 dollar shirt?)

Totally Free From Thought, Part 3

| Australia | Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “Hi, how may I help you today?”

Customer: “Oh, yes, I’d just like to have these, please.”

(I scan both items for her.)

Me: “That just comes to [total]. Did you have [Store points card]?”

Customer: “Hang on, this should be free.”

(The customer is pointing to the second item she had purchased. It’s a spare bottle for the blender she has purchased. The part of the box she’s pointing to says BPA free.)

Me: “Ma’am, BPA free doesn’t mean the item is for free. It’s letting you know the chemical BPA wasn’t used in any plastic that could potentially contaminate your food.”

Customer: “But it says free. That’s false advertising.”

(Needless to say she decided not to buy the spare bottle.)

Related:
Totally Free From Thought, Part 2
Totally Free From Thought

Scratch-Off Your Name On The Pool

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(I’ve recently been promoted from cashier to the customer service desk, where all lottery tickets and tobacco products are sold. The coworker training me has just stepped away when a middle-aged woman comes up to the counter and is staring at the scratch-off tickets.)

Customer: “Give me twenty $5 scratchers, please. I don’t care which kind, just give me a variety.”

(She opens up a thick envelope full of cash and gives me a $100 bill. I tear off two each of the ten different games we sell and give them to her, wishing her luck. She takes a quarter out of her purse, moves to the end of the counter, and starts scratching off all her tickets, throwing the losers away and setting aside a winner. She holds it out to me silently and I scan it through the machine.)

Me: “Wow, you won $50!”

Customer: “Okay, give me ten more $5 tickets.”

(I’m surprised but I do as she asks. She scratches off all of those, too, wins $20, and uses it for more tickets. This continues twice more until she has no more winners and no more tickets. She slams down the stack of losers, yells ‘d*** it!’ and walks away with nothing. My coworker is returning from break just as she’s leaving.)

Coworker: “Was that the scratcher lady? Awesome, your first encounter!”

(My coworker reaches under the counter and grabs a little notepad and pencil.)

Coworker: “How much cash did she give you?”

Me: “Well, she won a few times but she gave me $100 that first time. What’s her deal?”

Coworker: *excitedly writing in the pad* “Until a few months ago, she didn’t come in here much. But then, one day, she won $10,000 from a scratch-off ticket!”

Me: “Wow, that’s pretty cool. So I guess she’s trying for more, huh?”

Coworker: “Yeah, you could say that. She does this a few times a week and every time she goes through all the winners until she’s lost it all. We’ve been keeping a running tally and had a pool going over when she quits. I bet on 2,000 but got eliminated a long time ago. Let’s see…” *looking at the notepad* “Of the $10,000 she won, she’s now spent $9,200 of it on more tickets!”

(By the time she stopped showing up months later, everyone in the pool had been eliminated, because no one came close to guessing that she’d spend over $13,000 on scratch-off tickets without bringing home a single winner.)

The Machines Are Already More Intelligent Than Us

, | Paris, France | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(I work at a library’s copy store, a fairly large room within the main branch of the library. At the entrance of our store there are three huge copy-card dispensers – about the size of a cupboard – with a different slot for each way to pay: coins, banknotes, and credit cards. On every wall of our store, several A3-sized posters inform customers that they have buy cards to do their copies.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but I paid and I didn’t get my card.”

Colleague: “Did you pay with credit card, bill, or coins?”

Customer: “Bill.”

(My colleague goes to the card dispenser with the customer.)

Colleague: “I’m truly sorry, sir, but it seems I can’t find your bill.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s because I didn’t put it there.”

(Then he pointed at the coin slot. And indeed, there was a tiny piece of paper sticking out of it: the corner of his banknote, folded in four…)

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