Category: Money

A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 4

| CO, USA | Money, Religion, Technology

(I graduated with a PhD in mathematics from a major state university, but being from a fairly tight-knit family, when a storm takes out power to my grandfather’s family-owned business many family members go to help keep things running.)

Customer: “I’m so glad you’re open without power. I can finally get some shopping done.”

Me: “Yeah, I guess a power outage has its upsides, frees up some time.”

Customer: “No, no, no. I had a vision from God, and he told me that math and money were created by the devil…”

Me: “Umm… and the storm changes that how?”

Customer: “Well, without power, you don’t have those machines to add for you, so we can go back to good old fashioned charity, like God intended.”

Cousin: “You do realize we can do the math in our head, right? I mean this guy has a PhD in mathematics. I think he can add some prices up. Also, we have a backup generator; the registers should be up now.”

(The customer couldn’t get out of the store fast enough, brandishing a cross at the cash registers. Apparently, anyone who can do some mental addition is a servant of the devil; that or he wanted free stuff, your pick.)

Related:
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
A Price For The Devil To Pay

Not Tipped To Be A Good Night

| NY, USA | Family & Kids, Money

(A woman’s 60th birthday party of about 100 in our fancy venue has just ended. The party in general hasn’t been very good tippers despite their flashy attire, many requests, and heavy drinking, but the people are nice enough.)

Guest Of Honor’s Relative: *approaches DJ* “I just want to say thank you so much! The music, the ambiance you provided, was perfect and we all had a wonderful time!”

DJ: “Thank you, miss. No problem, we had a good time.”

Guest Of Honor’s Relative: *approaches a coworker and me changing a tablecloth* “Thank you so much! You worked so hard, the food was delicious, and the service was absolutely great. On point. We will definitely be back! You guys deserve a raise in salary tonight!” *winks, squeezes my arm, and walks away*

Me: *whispering to coworker* “Yeah, it’s called a tip…”

A Small Sample Of Big Stupid

| USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(In the local mall there is a kiosk that only opens during the holidays which sells products such as smoked meats, cheeses, and the like. I always stop by there to get a few things when they open and am a customer while this is happening.)

Customer: “Could I get another one of these? This one is open.”

(She hands the employee a bottle of honey mustard that is marked ‘sample.’)

Employee #1: “Oh! I’m sorry, ma’am, that’s the sample bottle. The unopened ones are right down there on the other side of the counter.”

Customer: “Oh, thanks!”

(She grabs an unopened bottle and starts to walk off with it.)

Employee #1: “Ma’am, you have to pay for that.”

Customer: “But it’s a sample.”

Employee #1: “No, it’s not. You have to pay for it.”

Customer: “But that one’s marked sample.” *she points to the sample bottle* “Samples are free.”

Employee #1: “Yes, that one is. That’s the bottle we use to get samples out of. We have it marked so we don’t accidentally try to sell it to a customer.”

Customer: “But she’s getting one!”

(She points to me and the bottle of honey mustard that I have in my hand.)

Employee #1: “She is, ma’am, and she’s paying for it.”

Customer: “Paying?”

Employee #1: “Yes. With money.”

Customer: “So I have to pay with money to get this? It isn’t free?”

Employee #1: “No. It isn’t free.”

Customer: “Oh… Well, I don’t want it then, but thank you.”

(She sets the bottle of mustard down on the counter and walks away without further issue.)

Me: “What just happened here?”

Employee #2: “Oh, did the crazy sample lady come back? I’ve worked this kiosk for three years now and she does this every year. You’d think she’d have figured out that that’s not how samples work by now.”

Talking Turkey About Cold Cuts

| Charleston, SC, USA | Food & Drink, Money

(It is just after one of the months where all of our sandwiches were $5. The promotion is over, so now only a few regular sandwiches are $5. I ring up a woman’s foot-long turkey sub and the total came out to about $6.)

Female Customer: “No, it’s supposed to be $5.”

Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry. That promotion is over. The prices are back to normal.”

Female Customer: “But that sign says cold cuts are $5.”

Me: “No, it says the cold cut combo is $5.”

Female Customer: “Turkey is a cold cut.”

Me: “Okay, but it’s not a cold cut combo. That’s a completely different sandwich.”

Female Customer: “Turkey is a cold cut!”

Me: “…”

Female Customer: “You’re just trying to trick all of us! Turkey is a cold cut!”

(She then proceeded to storm off without her sandwich and yelled at me she hoped I was happy I had lost her business. Yeah, the person making $7.25 really cares about the store losing a customer.)

Has An Expensive Chip On His Shoulder

| Charleston, SC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

Customer: “How much are the bags of chips?”

Me: “Just a little over two dollars with tax.”

Customer: “What? That’s unreasonable! Why would you charge me that much?”

Customer’s Wife: “Shut up. What makes you think that poor girl set the prices on the chips?”

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