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    Category: Money

    No Good Deed Goes Unthreatened, Part 2

    | Durham, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    (I work for a cosmetics store. We’re collecting donations for a popular women’s charity. However, as I am not well off, and cannot donate more than a dollar or two here or there myself, I mention it very casually and do not think badly of those who do not donate, or donate small amounts.)

    Me: “Okay, so your total is $x.xx. Would you like to round up your purchase for the charity we are supporting today? No obligation!”

    Customer #1: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “Oh, we’re supporting [Charity] for this month, so I’m just asking everyone if they would like to contribute any amount, even a few cents. No obligation, like I said, I have to ask each customer. I was asking if you wanted to contribute a few cents to round up your purchase to the nearest dollar today.”

    Customer #1: “So, I look like some kind of sucker to you, I guess? I look like I have a goldmine just flowing out of my pockets? No, I will not be donating today. Thank you for the guilt trip!”

    Me: “Alrighty, no problem. Your total is [total].”

    Customer #1: “No. You tacked on a donation. I want the exact itemization of my purchase!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am.”

    (I proceed to go over each item and add it up on a calculator, plus sales tax. Eventually, Customer #1 is satisfied. She’s still standing around, but I move on to the next customer, Customer #2.)

    Me: *to Customer #2* “How are you, today?”

    Customer #2: “Fine, dear. Also, I’d like to donate 10 dollars towards [Charity] today.”

    Me: “Thank you, Ma’am! And please take this gift as a thank you for your contribution!”

    Customer #1: “Hey! Why does she get something for free and I didn’t?”

    Me: “Ma’am, she made a donation towards [Charity], and we have free gifts for those who contribute certain dollar amounts. It’s on the signs in front of the register.”

    Customer #1: *throws a penny at me* “I donated. Now give me the [ten dollar donation gift]!”

    Me: “I am sorry, but that is for customers who contribute $10.00 or more towards [Charity]. I can’t give you this item for a penny contribution, although we do appreciate the donation.”

    Customer #1: “Well, I donate several thousands of dollars to [Charity] every year! Give me the free gift!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry, but donations that will earn you this gift must be made at this store. I apologize, but you can’t have this gift without a donation for the requisite dollar amount.”

    Customer #1: “Give it to me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this item is only for customers who make this certain donation amount. It’s a gift we give as a thanks for the donation towards [Charity].”

    Customer #1: “You know what? That’s fine! Jesus will punish you! He will send you to Hell for being so greedy!” *walks away singing ‘Amazing Grace’*

    Related:
    No Good Deed Goes Unthreatened

    Be The Change You Wish To See

    | Rochester, NH, USA | Bizarre, Money

    Me: *ringing up a customer’s items* “How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “That milk was supposed to be $1.79, not $1.89.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Let me have someone run a price check on that.”

    (My coworker comes over and takes the milk to check the price.)

    Coworker: “He is correct; the milk is $1.79.”

    Me: “Thank you.” *reduces price on milk* “Alright, sir. That’ll be $4.75.”

    (The customer hands me a five dollar bill and starts walking away.)

    Me: “Sir, did you want your change?!”

    Customer: “Nope!” *walks off*

    Small Print For Small Minds

    | MA, USA | Money

    (The gift store where I work is going out of business. There are signs hanging up that state which items are excluded. Although the 50% off is written larger, the restrictions are still written in a fairly large font. A husband and wife are in the store.)

    Me: “That will be $xx.xx.”

    Husband: “Oh, why is it so expensive?”

    Me: *pointing to the signs* “Well, due to vendor restrictions, the Willow Tree pieces are not part of the 50% off sale.”

    Husband: “Oh, okay.”

    (He pays for his purchase and starts to head toward the door, just as the wife is coming back in. The husband explains to the wife that the figures were full price.)

    Wife: *to me* “Those were supposed to be half price! There’s a sign!” *points at the sign*

    Me: “Actually, due to vendor restrictions, we’re not allowed to sell them at half price.”

    Wife: “But the sign says 50% off!”

    Me: “The sign says 50% off excluding Willow Tree and the jewelry over there.”

    Wife: “Well, I didn’t read the bottom of the sign. I just read the part that says 50% off. That sign is misleading!”

    More Of A Dollar Half Full Kind Of Person

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    Me: “Okay, will that be all?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, thanks.”

    Me: “Do you have a [store] card?”

    Customer #1: “Oh, I do!”

    Me: “Alright, your total is $9.43.”

    Customer #1: “Oh look, I even saved money!”

    Customer #2: “How much?”

    Me: “Umm, $0.60.”

    Customer #2: “Ooh, that’s almost half a dollar!”

    Not Quite The PIN-nacle of Intelligence

    | South Paris, ME, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “Credit or debit?”

    Customer: “Uhh… debit I, guess.”

    Me: “Okay, slide the card here and then enter your pin.”

    Customer: “But it’s my friend’s card. I don’t know the pin.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t allow you to use a card that doesn’t belong to you.”

    Customer: “Do credit. I don’t need the pin for that.”

    Me: “Yes, but for credit the cardholder has to sign.”

    Customer: “I can sign it.”

    Me: “Only the cardholder can sign.”

    Customer: “Then I’ll just sign her name.”

    Me: “I can’t allow you to do that either. That’s fraud. We could both get into trouble.”

    Customer: “There won’t be any trouble. She told me I could use her card.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you use a card that doesn’t belong to you. Can you pay for these things yourself and then ask your friend to pay you back?”

    Customer: “I don’t have any money. Besides, I can’t trust her to pay me back.”

    Me: “Then I can’t sell you these items. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we don’t know each other, right?”

    Customer: “Um… nope. I don’t think so.”

    Me: “If I were to try to buy something from you with a credit card that you knew wasn’t mine, what would you say?”

    Customer: “I’d ask you for some kind of proof that you had permission…” *lightbulb goes on* “Oh!”

    (Although the customer seems to finally understand, but she continues to stand there.)

    Me: “Was there something else I could help you with?”

    Customer: “So, can I just sign her name?”

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