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    Category: Money

    How To Spot A Bad Penny

    | AK, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top

    (I’m teaching a trainee how to operate the cash register.)

    Me: “You see, all you have to do is press this button here, then the drawer will open, and the amount to give back will be up on the screen, as well as the receipt.”

    Trainee: “Oh! That’s really easy!”

    (During this time, a regular customer has been watching us, kind of poking around at the end of the register for awhile. I’m keeping an eye on her, as this customer is notorious for being dramatic.)

    Customer: “I’m ready to check out!”

    Trainee: “Yes ma’am, how are you today?” *begins checking out her items*

    Customer: “Oh, I’m fine. I have some change I’d like to empty from my purse.”

    (At this point I’m relatively relieved, as there hasn’t been any issues. However, she proceeds to pull four BAGS of PENNIES from her purse, and plops them on the counter.)

    Customer: “It’s legal tender, so start counting!”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?!”

    Me: “There is a Coinstar to your left, and a bank right in front of you. The Coinstar charges 8.9 cents per dollar, and I’m pretty sure the bank does it for free. I’ll be happy to suspend your order until you’ve returned.”

    (Despite how calm I am, my trainee looks visibly terrified.)

    Customer: “Shame on you. What terrible customer service. I will call and have you fired!”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve said, I will be happy to suspend your order, but if you continue on yelling, I will have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “I am the customer! I am always right, so be—”

    Me: “QUIET.”

    Customer: *goes slack-jawed*

    Me:You will not get anyone here fired. You have not only been horrifically rude, but have made an extremely embarrassing spectacle of yourself in front of most of the store. You are holding up this line. Here are your bags of pennies, so please leave.”

    (The customer dawdled away from my register, but stayed by the front of the store screaming at everyone who walked in about us not taking her bags of pennies. The manager had to eventually call the police on her. It took a long time to reassure my trainee that not everyone was crazy like that!)

    Cannot Make It Any Clearer

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

    Customer: “My son is doing a project and he needs something that looks like a window. Are laminate pouches see-through without being heated?”

    Me: “Not really. They are kind of frosty.”

    (I take one out to show her.)

    Customer: “Oh, shoot. It’s not clear enough.”

    Me: “Well, I can put it through the laminator for you. It doesn’t have to have anything in it in order to seal it.”

    Customer: “Really?”

    Me: “Yeah, once it goes through it will just look like a thin sheet of plastic and it will be completely see-through.”

    Customer: “Okay, how much would 5 11″x17″ sheets cost?”

    (I tell her the price.)

    Customer: “Wow! That’s really expensive for laminating sheets that don’t even have anything in them!”

    Me: “They are the same price whether you have something in them or not.”

    Customer: “Why?!”

    Me: “Because if you had something in it, you would be supplying it, not us. When you get something laminated, you are just paying for the pouch itself, not the stuff inside it.”

    Customer: “Hmm, I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to pay that much. I mean, I’m not even putting anything in them.”

    Me: “But if you put something in them they won’t look like windows anymore.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I just don’t understand why it’s so much when you’re not even putting anything in the pouches.”

    Me: “Because you don’t pay for the stuff that goes in the pouches.”

    Customer: “Nope, I’ll think of something else. It’s too expensive for not putting anything in them!”

    No Good Deed Goes Unthreatened, Part 2

    | Durham, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    (I work for a cosmetics store. We’re collecting donations for a popular women’s charity. However, as I am not well off, and cannot donate more than a dollar or two here or there myself, I mention it very casually and do not think badly of those who do not donate, or donate small amounts.)

    Me: “Okay, so your total is $x.xx. Would you like to round up your purchase for the charity we are supporting today? No obligation!”

    Customer #1: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “Oh, we’re supporting [Charity] for this month, so I’m just asking everyone if they would like to contribute any amount, even a few cents. No obligation, like I said, I have to ask each customer. I was asking if you wanted to contribute a few cents to round up your purchase to the nearest dollar today.”

    Customer #1: “So, I look like some kind of sucker to you, I guess? I look like I have a goldmine just flowing out of my pockets? No, I will not be donating today. Thank you for the guilt trip!”

    Me: “Alrighty, no problem. Your total is [total].”

    Customer #1: “No. You tacked on a donation. I want the exact itemization of my purchase!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am.”

    (I proceed to go over each item and add it up on a calculator, plus sales tax. Eventually, Customer #1 is satisfied. She’s still standing around, but I move on to the next customer, Customer #2.)

    Me: *to Customer #2* “How are you, today?”

    Customer #2: “Fine, dear. Also, I’d like to donate 10 dollars towards [Charity] today.”

    Me: “Thank you, Ma’am! And please take this gift as a thank you for your contribution!”

    Customer #1: “Hey! Why does she get something for free and I didn’t?”

    Me: “Ma’am, she made a donation towards [Charity], and we have free gifts for those who contribute certain dollar amounts. It’s on the signs in front of the register.”

    Customer #1: *throws a penny at me* “I donated. Now give me the [ten dollar donation gift]!”

    Me: “I am sorry, but that is for customers who contribute $10.00 or more towards [Charity]. I can’t give you this item for a penny contribution, although we do appreciate the donation.”

    Customer #1: “Well, I donate several thousands of dollars to [Charity] every year! Give me the free gift!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry, but donations that will earn you this gift must be made at this store. I apologize, but you can’t have this gift without a donation for the requisite dollar amount.”

    Customer #1: “Give it to me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this item is only for customers who make this certain donation amount. It’s a gift we give as a thanks for the donation towards [Charity].”

    Customer #1: “You know what? That’s fine! Jesus will punish you! He will send you to Hell for being so greedy!” *walks away singing ‘Amazing Grace’*

    Related:
    No Good Deed Goes Unthreatened

    Be The Change You Wish To See

    | Rochester, NH, USA | Bizarre, Money

    Me: *ringing up a customer’s items* “How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “That milk was supposed to be $1.79, not $1.89.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Let me have someone run a price check on that.”

    (My coworker comes over and takes the milk to check the price.)

    Coworker: “He is correct; the milk is $1.79.”

    Me: “Thank you.” *reduces price on milk* “Alright, sir. That’ll be $4.75.”

    (The customer hands me a five dollar bill and starts walking away.)

    Me: “Sir, did you want your change?!”

    Customer: “Nope!” *walks off*

    Small Print For Small Minds

    | MA, USA | Money

    (The gift store where I work is going out of business. There are signs hanging up that state which items are excluded. Although the 50% off is written larger, the restrictions are still written in a fairly large font. A husband and wife are in the store.)

    Me: “That will be $xx.xx.”

    Husband: “Oh, why is it so expensive?”

    Me: *pointing to the signs* “Well, due to vendor restrictions, the Willow Tree pieces are not part of the 50% off sale.”

    Husband: “Oh, okay.”

    (He pays for his purchase and starts to head toward the door, just as the wife is coming back in. The husband explains to the wife that the figures were full price.)

    Wife: *to me* “Those were supposed to be half price! There’s a sign!” *points at the sign*

    Me: “Actually, due to vendor restrictions, we’re not allowed to sell them at half price.”

    Wife: “But the sign says 50% off!”

    Me: “The sign says 50% off excluding Willow Tree and the jewelry over there.”

    Wife: “Well, I didn’t read the bottom of the sign. I just read the part that says 50% off. That sign is misleading!”


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