November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Money

All Computers Come With Cache

| UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “How do I get money out of this account?”

Coworker: “It’s an internet based savings account. You can transfer money from it online.”

Customer: “Can’t I get it from a tray in my computer?”

Coworker: *trying not to laugh* “Unfortunately that’s not a facility on your account.”

Customer: “Well, it looks like I’ll have to change banks!”

Getting All Hancocked Over A Benjamin, Part 2

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I am a manager working the concession stand at a theater attached to a hotel/casino.)

Cashier: *over radio* “Manager to register two.”

(I head over. The cashier has a customer at her station who looks angry.)

Me: “What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Yeah, this b**** stole my money! I paid with a hundred and she only gave me change for a fifty! I want my f****** money back!”

Me: “All right. Did you see what she did with the bill?”

Customer: “Yeah! She put it below the counter!”

(We are only allowed to keep bills $10 and smaller in the till itself. All larger bills go into a lockbox right below the cash register. I walk behind the desk and point to the lockbox.)

Me: “She put it in here?”

Customer: “Yeah! Now give me the rest of my money!”

(I unlock the lockbox and remove it from its position, placing it on the counter in front of the customer. I then open it to reveal three $20 bills, and one $50 bill, which is the last bill deposited.)

Me: “Well, sir, it looks like the last bill deposited was a fifty. Is it possible you simply forgot which bill you paid with?”

(At this point, I know he’s lying. The cashier is one of my best employees, and the evidence is stacked against him.)

Customer: “NO! I PAID WITH A F****** HUNDRED! I WANT MY F****** MONEY!”

Me: “All right, sir. If you’re that adamant, I’ll call the casino’s security.”

Customer: “Good!”

Me: “I just don’t like calling them. They’re so harsh about fraud. I mean, they drag people into the back room just for TRYING…”

(The color drains out of the customer’s face.)

Customer: “That… That’s a myth…”

Me: “I wish it were, sir. I wish it were. Let’s call them.”

(I pull my radio up, but he stops me.)

Customer: “You know what; it’s not worth the hassle.” *to the cashier* “Enjoy the tip, b****.”

(The customer stormed off as fast as he could towards his theater.)

Getting All Hancocked Over A Benjamin

Christmas Day Meets Groundhog Day

| St. Catharines, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Money, Theme Of The Month

(It is a very busy Sunday afternoon in the store. One of our staff is late due to bad weather and a dead car battery, so we are all rushed off our feet. I take a call.)

Me: “[Store Name]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes. Hi. Do you have any sales going on with your Christmas dresses?”

Me: “I’m afraid not, ma’am. There are no dresses on sale at the moment.”

Caller: “How much are the dresses you have?”

Me: “They range from $30 to $50, depending on the dress. But, we might be having a 40 percent off sale later this week. If you’d like to, call back then and check the dresses at that point.”

Caller: “So, what sale do you have for your dresses right now? I want one just above the knee.”

Me: “Well, most of our dresses fall just above the knee, ma’am. Like I said, we have no dresses on sale today, but we might have them on sale later this week.”

Caller: “I’m going to a holiday party, you see, and I need a dress that falls above the knee.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I understand. If you check back in a few days you might be able to get a dress for 40 percent off.”

Caller: *finally clues in* “40 percent off you say? So what price would the dresses be then?”

Me: “It would depend on the dress, ma’am. As I said, they range from $30 to $50.”

Caller: “Oh, so how much would the $50 dollar dress be? I’m going to a holiday party and need a dress above the knee. You don’t have any dresses on sale today? Do you?”

Me: *facepalm*

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 26

| Belgium | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work a summer job in a bank. An angry customer storms in and slams a card on the counter.)

Customer: “I tried to get money out of the cash machine but it won’t give me anything!”

Me: “Well, sir. It seems—”

Customer: “I’m not poor! There’s money in my account! You can check it!”

Me: “Well, sir—”

Customer: “I just want my d*** money! Give it to me!”

Me: “Sir… That’s a library card.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 24
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

Not Ex-static About Donating

| Canada | Liars & Scammers, Money, School

(The particular call centre I work at calls alumni from the university, both to give them updates and to solicit donations. The alumnus I’m speaking with is quite polite. I’m partway through the call.)

Me: “…so the date of your reunion is in two months. It sounds like you really enjoyed your time here!”

Alumnus: “I definitely did.”

Me: “Part of the reason you were able to enjoy it so much is because of the generosity of other alumni, like you, from the past—”

Alumnus: “Oh, we’re doing that part now.”

Me: “…so if you’d like, I could—”

Alumnus: “Hold on a second! Khrrrrrrrt…”

(The alum has started making not-quite-static noises with his throat.)

Me: “Uh, sir? Are you—”

Alumnus: “You’re breaking up! Khhrrrrrrrtzzzzz!”

(This is followed by an actual phone click.)