Category: Money

This Customer Has A Tuna Problems

| Bellingham, WA, USA | Bizarre, Money

(I’m a teller at a bank. A young customer comes up to my window.)

Customer: “I’d like to withdraw $20.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it looks like your available balance is $10. Would you like to withdraw that amount?”

Customer: “No. I want to withdraw $20.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can only withdraw the $10 you have available.”

Customer: “But I want $20!”

Me: “I can’t give you more money than you have in your account.”

Customer: “Well at least it’s not a Nazi-controlled fish world where it’s ‘hail tuna, only what the tuna says!.'”

(The customer waits for me to reply, but I have no idea if this is some pop culture reference.)

Me: “…no. At least it’s not like that…”

Customer: “I’ll take the $10.”

(The customer leaves happily, and I never find any info on her fish world. I assume it is original, as the next week she tells me I would be ‘sweeter if I was made out of silver.’)

All’s Well That Messengers Well

| Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Money

(I work at a healthcare store. Whenever we have promos such as gift cards when purchasing more than a certain dollar amount, we call our regular customers a week in advance to let them know. After each call, either actually talking to the customer or leaving a message, we put a check next to their name on our list. One cranky regular misses the promo weekend and comes in three weeks later.)

Customer: “Hello, [My Name]. I’m just parked outside. Can you get me my products?”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be right back.”

Customer: “Don’t you have any promos? You haven’t had one since December.”

Me: “No, I know it’s been a while.”

(I make sure not to mention the promo three weeks prior, as I know she missed it, and I am sure she will throw a fit. I go to the back to get her products. As I am coming back, I see the customer yelling at my coworker. She then turns to me.)

Customer: “This is so disappointing! I told you guys to call me every time you have a promo. [Coworker] said that you had one three weeks ago!”

Me: “Oh, we did call you. I’m sure we did. You’re the first one we call.”

Customer: “No, I did not get any call. No message. This is the second time!”

Me: “I remember the first time you said your daughter forgot to tell you.”

Customer: “Well, this time I really didn’t get any call! No message, nothing!”

(The customer goes on and on as I am ringing her in, and I am just nodding. She’s always in a hurry, so I need to ring her in as I am listening. I can see the other customers looking at her.)

Me: “I really apologize, but as you see here on our call list, I called all these customers including you. Your name even has an asterisk ’cause you’re the first one we call.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t get anything! There could be something wrong with my answering machine, but I doubt it! You guys owe me!”

(The customer storms out of the store. The next day she calls.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Store]. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Oh [My Name], this is [Customer]. I just called to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I asked my daughter if she knew of any promos you guys had, and she just gasped because she forgot to tell me that you guys called.”

Me: “That’s okay Mrs. [Customer]. It’s not a problem.”

Customer: “Okay, thank you. Bye!”

Fought For His Country, Not Just His County

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Military, Money

(Our store gives a military discount, but you have to have one of three types of nationally-issued ID cards to get it. It can’t be a state, county, or city-issued ID. My current customer has a county-issued veteran’s card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; we can’t take these. It must be a nationally-issued card.”

Customer: “This IS nationally issued!”

Me: “No, this is a county VA card. The county seal is right there. It has to be from the Department of Veteran’s Affairs in DC.”

Customer: *blankly* “This IS a VA card.”

(I pull out the cheat-sheet for cashiers.)

Me: “It has to be one of these types. They’ve gotten very strict on that.”

Customer: “I’m going to [competitor]! They know how to treat their veterans right!”

(The customer storms out. A regular, who is a retired vet, comes up to me.)

Regular Customer: “Good for you! I can’t stand people like that.”

Me: “I was about ready to rattle off my parents’ names, ranks, and postings. Mom did her 22 years, and Dad’s a Lieutenant Colonel. And both of them would’ve told me that if I didn’t have my ID, too bad!”

Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 9

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Technology

(I’m at a coffee shop that has a clear ‘We do not accept $50s or $100s” on the cash register. Customer #1 is in line with Customer #2, a teenager, behind him.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir; we can’t accept $100s.”

Customer #1: “You have to! You’re breaking the law!”

(The customer starts ranting about it for a while. Meanwhile, the teenage customer behind him fiddles with her phone for a few moments before speaking up.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me? But, no, that simply isn’t true. There is no law requiring businesses accept payment in $100 bills.”

Customer #1: “What do you know about it? You’re just a kid!”

Customer #2: “Well, for one, I can use Google. Here’s what the Treasury says…”

(Customer #2 starts reading out the webpage on her phone which confirms what she says. Customer #1 shuts up and pays with normal bills.)

Related:
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 8
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 7
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 6
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 5
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need a $500 money order.”

Me: “Okay. It’s $501.20.”

Customer: *hands over $7 cash*

Me: “You’re still $494.20 short.”

Customer: “What? What do you mean?”

Me: “We need $500, plus $1.20 for processing the money order.”

Customer: “This isn’t enough?”

Me: “Sorry, a $500 money order costs $500.”

Customer: “Oh. I didn’t know that.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

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