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    Category: Money

    All Signs Point To Duh, Part 5

    | Central Florida, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (The kitchen supply store where I work is going out of business. All over the store are bright yellow and black signs stating this, along with, “All Sales Final, No Returns,” and “Cash and Credit Cards Only, No Checks Accepted”.)  

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Your total is [price].”

    (The customer opens her purse and pulls out a checkbook.)

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am. We are not able to accept checks at this time.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Because the store is going out of business.”

    Customer: “So, why is that my problem?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. It’s not your problem. However, we are not able to accept checks any longer.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t see where it says that!”

    (I point at the sign behind me.)

    Me: “Here…”

    (I point at another sign on the front counter.)

    Me: “…here…”

    (I point at a third sign directly below her open checkbook.)

    Me: “…and here.”

    Customer: “I read at home! Why should I be forced to read when I shop?!”

    Related:
    All Signs Point To Duh, Part 4
    All Signs Point To Duh, Part 3
    All Signs Point To Duh, Part 2
    All Signs Point To Duh

    Online Store, Meet Offline Brain, Part 2

    | Livingston, NJ, USA | Money, Technology

    Me: “I’m sorry, it looks like we don’t have that book in stock. I can order it for you, though.”

    Customer: “Oh, no. I don’t do that ordering stuff. I don’t give my credit card information out under any circumstances.”

    Me: “Well, we process the orders through a register, so it’s actually just like making a regular purchase.”

    Customer: “I already told you, no! I don’t do that ordering stuff! I’ll just get it online. That’s all!”

    Me: “But buying it online IS ordering. You’re giving your credit card information out.”

    Customer: *pats my shoulder* “Oh, dear, it’s totally different. You have so much to learn, don’t you? Now, have a nice day!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Related:
    Online Store, Meet Offline Brain

    Better Late Than Clever, Part 2

    | Melbourne, Australia | Family & Kids, Money

    (A kid of 11 or 12 approaches the ticket sales counter.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Kid: “Can I have a ticket for [movie]?”

    Me: “Which session time were you after?”

    Kid: “The one on now.”

    Me: “Okay, are you sure? This session has already started, and I think about 10 minutes into the actual film.”

    Kid: “No, that’s okay.”

    Me: “Alright, that’ll be [price].”

    Kid: “Can I get a discount?”

    Me: “What for?”

    Kid: “I missed some of my movie.”

    Me: “Um, you’re asking me for a discount because YOU turned up late to the movie?”

    Kid: “…Yeah.”

    Me: *shakes head*

    Kid: “Oh well, it was worth a try!”

    Related:
    Better Late Than Clever

    Please Pound Into Her Head We Don’t Use Dollars

    | UK | Money, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (A tourist in front of me just ordered a coffee.)

    Cashier: “That will be £6.10, please.”

    Tourist: *hands him two USD $5 bills*

    Cashier: “We only accept English sterling.”

    Tourist: “So, you don’t take dollar bills?”

    Cashier: “No, only English sterling.”

    Tourist: *to her husband* “I can’t believe it! They only accept English sterling!”

    Another Customer: “Well, it’s ENGLAND!”

    Don’t Tip Her Off

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

    Customer: “I’ll have my ciabatta loaf and a small latte.”

    Me: “That comes to $9.90.”

    (The customer hands me a $10 dollar bill, and I give her 10 cents change. Then, she produces her loyalty card. I see that she is up for a free coffee.)

    Me: “Oh, you’re due for your free coffee. I’ll give you some extra change back.” *I hand her the extra change*

    Customer: “No! I don’t want it! I don’t want the money!”

    Me: “But you’ve earned a free coffee.”

    Customer: “I come in here EVERY time and I order a ciabatta loaf and a coffee, and it comes to $9.90. I give you a $10 note, and I give you a 10 cent tip!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry… did you want to save your free coffee for another day? It’s alright. I can—”

    Customer: “No, it’s NOT alright! I didn’t want the free coffee! I don’t want it! You don’t get your 10 cent tip today!”

    Me: “Okay… well, I’ll just have to wear that.”

    Customer: “Stupid woman. You don’t get your 10 cent tip today!” *leaves*


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