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    Category: Money

    A Cold Case Of Hot Food

    | Australia | Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a theme park eatery. We don’t sell drinks with the meals, as you buy them separately. For the meals the drinks are $3, $6 or $9, if not, they’re $4, $10 and $14.)

    Me: “Hi there, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Can I please get a coke?”

    Me: “What size would you like?”

    Customer: “I’ll get the large.”

    Me: “Sure, no worries. That’s $13.99 for that, thanks.”

    Customer: “Excuse me! I just wanted one drink, not two!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I understand. However, those prices we have up there are only for the meals.”

    Customer: “That’s false advertising!”

    Me: “I understand your frustration. If you look at the sign, it says down the bottom in bold letters that the prices are higher if you only buy the drink.”

    Customer: “I don’t give two s****! Get me your manager.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but the manager is in a meeting right now. If you want it cheaper you can buy a meal with it.”

    Customer: “Fine! Get me a [meal] with that large coke!”

    Me: “Of course, sir. Is there anything else I can get for you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you can make sure it’s the best burger I’ve ever f***** tasted, or I’m coming back and throwing it in your face.”

    Me: “I assure you, sir, they are delicious.”

    (I get the man his meal and drink. About 10 minutes later he comes back, and asks for a free refill.)

    Customer: “Erm… that was quite a nice burger, and I’m sorry for getting mad.”

    Me: “That’s okay, sir. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.”

    Common Sense Has Checked Out

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I finish a customer’s order, and they ask for a pen so they can write a check.)

    Me: “Oh, sure. But you don’t need to fill it out.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (The customer continues to write the check.)

    Me: “You can just fill out the information you need, but you don’t need to fill out the check. You can leave it blank if you’d like to.”

    Customer: “What’s the date today?”

    Me: “It’s the 30th, but you don’t need to write it down, unless you need to.”

    (The customer completely fills out the check. I run the check, and when the transaction’s complete, I give the customer her receipt and check back.)

    Me: “There you are. Have a great night!”

    Customer: *looking at the check in her hand* “Oh, you didn’t need this?”

    Me: “Nope, it’s run electronically.”

    Customer: “Why didn’t you say anything!?”

    Tire Of This Dispute

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Family & Kids, Money, Transportation

    (I am in the waiting room at a local tire place. A pickup truck squeals into the parking lot. A guy storms out and into the store. He demands a manager so he could dispute his son’s tire bill.)

    Manager: “How can I help you, sir?”

    Guy: “My son was in here earlier today, and you overcharged him! It shouldn’t have been [first amount]; it should have been [second amount]!”

    Manager: “I quoted your son—as I do all customers—both amounts, sir. He chose the [first amount] option.”

    Guy: “No, you didn’t! He said that you only gave him the [second amount] option. That’s too much for the menial service you provided.”

    Manager: “I wouldn’t have done that, sir. I quoted him both options, and he chose the [second amount] option. He wanted, and I quote, ‘blingy-er rims’.”

    (The guy realizes that he hasn’t been overcharged, and stops looming over the manager.)

    Guy: “It just isn’t right that my boy has to use up his whole paycheck on tires! He’s a hardworking boy. It’s just isn’t right!”

    Manager: “No, sir. It just isn’t right that I should have to dock my own paycheck, just so your son can keep his paycheck intact.”

    Me: “That’s what paychecks are for, right? Paying someone for a well-deserved service and paying for necessities such as tires, right?”

    (The guy turns beet red and leaves. My manager turns to me.)

    Manager: “If he keeps squealing his tires like that, he’ll be back within the next month to get them replaced.”

    I Should Be So Ducky

    | IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [fast food place]! How can I help you?”

    Elderly Customer: “Yes. I’ll have a small hamburger, a small fry, and a small coffee, for here, please.”

    Me: “Certainly. Would you like cream and sugar with your coffee?”

    Elderly Customer: “Of course. Two cream, and two sugar, please.”

    Me: “Your total is $[total].”

    (The Elderly Customer hands me more than enough to cover the meal.)

    Elderly Customer: “Keep the change.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re not allowed to take tips.”

    Elderly Customer: “Really? What’s this world coming to! Customers should be allowed to tip for good service.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that, sir. Here’s your food. Is there anything else that you would like?”

    Elderly Customer: “No, thanks.”†

    (He takes his food off to the lobby. A short while later, he’s back at my register.)

    Me: “Did you need a refill on your coffee, sir?”

    Elderly Customer: “Yes, please.”

    (I refill his coffee. When I return with his cup, he takes it, smiles at me, and leaves the store. Sitting on the counter where he was standing, is a small balloon duck. The duck has a note.)

    Note: “This isn’t a tip; he’s a gift. I hope that he brings a smile to your face.”

    Handling Change Well

    | Cork, Ireland | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (A well-dressed, middle-aged man comes up to me with a friendly smile.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’m sorry to be a bother. Could I possibly get change from you?”

    Me: “Okay, come up to the till. I’ll help you out.”

    Customer: “Thank you so much.”

    (He hands me three €20 note.)

    Customer: “If I could get a €50 note and a €10 note out of this, it’d be really helpful.”

    (I take the three €20 notes, and hand him back the change.)

    Customer: “Thanks. Sorry, but could I ask one more favor? Could I just get two €1 coins for this?”

    (He hands me a €2 coin. I am feeling slightly suspicious now. I turn back to the till, take out the two one-euro coins, and hand them to the man. He doesn’t move.)

    Me: “Is there something else?”

    Customer: “You never gave me the €50 note.”

    Me: “I’m pretty sure I did.”

    Customer: “No, you definitely didn’t.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not giving you any more money. If you would like, you can come back during closing. If we’re €50 over the end of day report, I will be happy to rectify my mistake. However, I’m absolutely positive I did not make one.”

    Customer: “Are you, really? This is ridiculous. You did not give me the money!”

    Me: “I think I did.”

    Customer: “You couldn’t have made a mistake? How are you so sure?”

    Me: “Because the corner of the €50 note I gave you is sticking out of your sleeve.”

    (Turns out he had done it to all the other shops on the street, and successfully conned two.)

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