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    Category: Money

    Bugging Out About It

    | NE, USA | Money, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (We always know in the summer rental cars will come back with lots of dead bugs on the front bumper and windshield. This was a joke we used frequently.)

    Me: “Wow, looks like you hit a lot of bugs on the road out there!”

    Customer: “Yeah. I was out on a lot of country roads.”

    Me: “You know it’s a $1 per bug cleaning charge, right?”

    Customer: *immediately irate, stands up in a huff* “THAT IS OUTRAGEOUS. I WILL NOT PAY THAT! I WANT TO SEE YOUR MANAGER!”

    Me: “Whoa. Just a little joke, sir.”

    Customer: *sitting down, still upset* “Well, that’s stupid. And not funny.

    (I stopped telling the bug joke after that…)

    Carded If The Card Is Discarded

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (Per company policy, if a customer wants to pay with a card they need to have it with them. We can’t authorize them over the phone unless it is a credit card issued by our company. There are occasional exceptions, but really only for regulars. We are also always supposed to check an id. A woman came in to buy a bunch of supplies for her office. As she’s at the register to pay. She pulls out a piece of paper.)

    Customer: “I’d like to pay with this.”

    (The paper she pulls out is a photocopy of a company credit card.)

    Cashier: “Uhm… we can’t take this.”

    Customer: “Why not?!”

    Cashier: “Because we need the physical card.”

    Customer: “Get a manager!”

    Manager: “Can I see an id?”

    Customer: “Why? My name won’t match. It’s a company card.”

    Manager: “Then, I’m sorry but we can’t accept it. I really shouldn’t do it, even if the names did match. It’s against policy.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! How can you not take it!? Why do you even need to see my ID?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, there is way too much risk for identity fraud. I have no way of knowing that’s your card, or company. Anyone could have taken that card and made a copy, or found the copy lying around somewhere.”

    Customer: “Are you accusing me of stealing this card information!?”

    Manager: “Of course not! But wouldn’t you rather have stores check ids and only accept physical cards if yours was the one that was stolen?”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! It’s our company card! And accusing me of stealing?! I’m never shopping here again! You’re losing so much business!”

    Manager: “Well, it’s better than getting in trouble for a fraudulent charge. Sorry we couldn’t help you.”

    (The customer stormed out in a huff.)

    Refunder Blunder, Part 6

    | MT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work the customer service and return desk and am in the process of returning several items of clothing for a customer because they did not fit her children. Before I can finish the transaction and hand her back her money, she hands me a coupon.)

    Customer: “When I bought these items, the cashier didn’t scan my coupon. Can you just do it now?”

    Me: “… I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Just take this coupon off during the return for me. I wanted to use it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a return transaction, I can’t use a coupon on a return.”

    Customer: “Then return my items and resell them to me with the coupon!”

    Me: “So you want me to return your items, resell them to you with your coupon, and then return them a second time?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Knowing that if I resell you the items with the coupon, you will receive less money back on the second return because of it?

    Customer: “Yes!”

    (We had to have a manager explain to her that it wasn’t worth it to do all that just for a coupon.)

    Related:
    Refunder Blunder, Part 5
    Refunder Blunder, Part 4
    Refunder Blunder, Part 3

    I Say Tomato, You Say Theft

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (As a cashier one of biggest pet peeves is when people eat the items before paying for them.)

    Me: “Hi. How are you today?”

    (I instantly notice customer has three boxes of tomatoes, and is eating away.)

    Customer: “Hi…” *continues eating one of the boxes of tomatoes*

    Me: *scans all three boxes* “Your total is [total].”

    (The customer, still chewing away, swipes her card.)

    Me: “This card was declined.”

    Customer: “Can I try again?”

    (There are only two tomatoes left in box she ate from. She swipes the card again.)

    Me: “It was declined.”

    Customer: “Let me try another card.” *swipes card*

    Me: “That was declined also.”

    Customer: “Let me just go to the ATM to get cash. I’ll be right back.”

    (The customer never came back and got away with eating almost an entire box of tomatoes for free.)

    Your Explanation Has Been Declined

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (We are in the middle of a huge rush where all of the lines are full. We were trying to get customers out as quickly as possible. This customer has only a few items and her total is about $12. She slides her card, and it is declined. I always try to be polite and couth about it when this happens.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. It didn’t like your card. Would you like to try it again?”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “The register didn’t want to take your card. You can try running it again, though, if you want.”

    Customer: “Does this happen a lot?”

    Me: “It happens sometimes.”

    Customer: *suddenly angry and much louder* “This is ridiculous! You need to fix this! It’s such an inconvenience! This always happens to me at this store! You need to fix your card reader!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s not the reader. It read your card just fine but the purchase didn’t go through.”

    Customer: “No! This is terrible customer service! Type it in on your machine!”

    Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am. Our system won’t let us and we aren’t allowed. It read your card just fine. It just wasn’t approved.”

    Customer: “Why not?! I know I have money on this card! It’s your fault and you have to do something about this!”

    Me: “It really isn’t an issue with the card reader or with our system at all. If you want I can suspend this and you can contact your bank to find out what’s going on.”

    Customer: “H***, no! I’m not waiting in line again!” *starts fishing money out of her wallet* “This is ridiculous! Get me your manager! You need to fix your machine!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it really isn’t mine or the machine’s fault. The problem lies with your card.”

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t! I know I have money in this account!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t know what the issue is. You can try contacting your ba—”

    Customer: “No! What does your screen say?”

    Me: “It says it was declined, ma’am.”

    (The customer then turned beet red and threw money at me, then gathered up her things and went over to the manager. She yelled at him about how I was rude and embarrassed her by saying her card was declined in front of other customers. My manager never talked to me about it, though, and the next three customers in line all told me to keep my chin up and hang on, and hoped that my shift was almost over. It was, thankfully.)

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