November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Money

Not In Good Insurance Company, Part 2

MN, USA | Health & Body, Money

(I work in the business office of a specialized eye care clinic. We often get calls from people who are confused by their statements, since we switched to a new system halfway through the year. )

Me: “[Business], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, I’m calling about the bill I received. I already paid this, and you fools are still charging me!”

Me: “Let me take a look at your account. Can I have your name, please?”

(She gives me the name of the account, and I pull it up in my system.)

Me: “It looks like the bill is due to an office visit that was done in November; the insurance company did not cover the whole cost.”

Woman: “See, that’s the thing, you idiot. I wasn’t supposed to have that visit. I just needed a referral, and the stupid doctor forced me to come in. I don’t think I should have to pay.”

Me: “Well, it does look like a full exam was done, and so you would need to pay for services that you received.”

Woman: “Are you a f****** r****d? I just said that I shouldn’t have to pay for it because I didn’t want to come in! Jesus, I can’t believe how stupid you people are! The damn doctor made me come in to get my damn referral, and I shouldn’t have to pay because he just wants to make more money off him. Reverse the charges right now!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but from what I’m able to see, it does look like services were performed, and not just a referral. I’ll need to check with my supervisor and the doctor to see what we can do.”

(I explain the situation to my supervisor, and we both go talk to the doctor. I tell him what’s going on, and give him the name. He sighs.)

Doctor: “Obviously she thinks I don’t remember the visit, but I do. She skipped four visits in a row, so I didn’t know she needed a referral until she finally came back in and I checked her out. Tell her to send a check in and pay us, for God’s sake.”

Me: *I call the woman back, to tell her the outcome* “So, I did speak to the doctor and my supervisor, and that visit will need to be paid for, as the doctor was not able to refer you until he could examine your eyes.”

Woman: “Well, I suppose I’ll arrange for some money to be sent in. But I’m going to tell my insurance company about you and your ways!”

Not In Good Insurance Company

If I Had A Gold Coin For Every Odd Customer

| Aurora, CO, USA | Bizarre, Money

(I am on the phone…)

Me: “…so I’m sending you an email confirmation of this reservation. Would you like the confirmation number verbally as well?”

Caller: “No, thank you. I do have one question, though…”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Caller: “I have a clay pot sitting in front of me. It’s about eight inches wide and twelve inches deep.”

Me: “…Yes?”

Caller: “Would you be able to fill it with gold coins?”

Me: *thinking he means gold dollars* “Oh, no, sir. Unfortunately gold coins aren’t something we generally keep at the front desk, but there is a bank located within walking distance where you can exchange for gold dollars.”

Caller: “So you’ll give me a voucher when I get there?”

Me: “Uh… no. You have to exchange your own money for the gold dollars.”

Caller: “Okay. Stay out of trouble!” *click*

He Needs To Be Taken Outside And Quartered

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(It’s Black Friday and the line has never shortened or ended since we opened.)

Customer: “Hey, I was wondering if you guys sell World of Warcraft subscriptions?”

Me: “Yes, we do. The cards are over there on that carousel. They only come in a two-month pack, though, so it’ll be $29.99. Is that all right?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, that’s perfect. It means I can get rid of these!”

(At this he takes out a GIGANTIC zip-lock bag of quarters and plops it on the counter in front of me. I stare at it in disbelief for a second and look helplessly at my supervisor… but he’s staring helplessly, too. In fact, the rest of my coworkers and most of the Black Friday line are staring.)

Coworker: “You don’t happen to have an alternate form of payment, do you?”

Customer: *cheerfully and blissfully unaware of the several withering glares being sent his way* “Nope!”

(I had no choice but to count out $30 in quarters in the middle of Black Friday. Ten minutes later, after he gets his subscription, picks up his giant zip-lock bag, and leaves, the next customer comes up with an aghast look on his face.)

Next Customer: “It’s Black Friday, for f***s sake! Who DOES that?!”

It Would Be Penny-Wise To Accept Them

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

Me: “Okay, sir, that’ll be £[Total], please.”

Customer: *begins rifling through his fanny pack for change* “Oh, god.”

Me: “You all right?”

Customer: “I… just… It won’t…”

Me: “Do you not have the right change?”

Customer: *brings out two fistfuls of change and plants them on the counter* “Oh, god.”

Me: *worried* “Umm?”

Customer: *continues to rifle through fanny pack and draws another fist of pennies* “Nooo.”

Me: “Sir, I think this is plenty. I—”

Customer: *moans as if in pain as he brings out two more fistfuls* “THEY’RE BREEDING!”

(I’m still laughing.)

Cash Back Flack

| New Orleans, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I am a cashier at a local grocery store. When paying with a debit card, customers can choose to get cash back from their checking account.)

Customer: *absent-mindedly clicks through the buttons on the electronic payment keypad*

Me: “All right, here’s your $50 cash back.”

Customer: “What? I didn’t ask for that!”

Me: “You did, ma’am. You were asked if you wanted cash back, pressed yes, then the $50 amount.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t! I just kept pressing ‘yes!'”

Me: “Well, the “yes” button on the first screen becomes the “yes” button for cash back, then the $50 button for the amount. It’s an easy mistake to make if you’re just pressing it over and over.”

(I am still attempting to hand her the $50 she pulled out.)

Customer: “Well, I don’t want that!”

Me: “I HAVE to give it to you, ma’am. It’s your money from your account. I can’t keep it.”

Customer: “Well, just put it back in my account!”

Me: “That’s not how cash back works…”